Why are women so bitchy? Doubt my friend even likes me

[Miaoriely2017]

Not every woman just some of them obviously ..
I've been friends with her for 13 years and she used to be lovely and we had fun etc but the last few years she's changed.
She's made other friends and I know she slags me off behind my back.
Last night me and her and 2 other girls were out.
She constantly tries to belittle me in front of others.
Sly digs like "oh they've put more chips on your plate,that's because they noticed how skinny you are"
Then i said something and she looked at the other girl and smirked.
I just have a gut feeling they talk about me.
One girl went to the toilet and straight away the other two slagged her off.
It's pathetic ..why not just be friends?
She's uploaded lots of pics and none of the nice ones of me just the 1 crappy one.
Do I just stop socialising with them?
Because I feel mega uncomfortable all the time.

She sounds unpleasant and you don't need people like this in your life. Lots of women aren't bitchy and the same goes for men. There are loads of nice people about. Couldn't your little group meet without the one who's causing all the trouble?

Raise your standards. Find friends who don't bitch and aren't constantly negative and putting you and others down and gossiping behind backs. I have far fewer friends now - but I trust them all.

Yesterday I had to spend a day working with an old 'friend'. I like her well enough, we have things in common, but she spent the entire day bitching about mutual friends, doing subtle put downs on everyone and everything she saw. I knew she'd been doing it about me beforehand and would as soon as we parted company. By the end of the day I was emotionally shattered. There are a lot of people like her around, and far fewer clam, unjudgemental, supportive, loving, happy people. But you're way better off having one or two good people in your life than plenty of energy-drainers.

Why is it acceptable to label all women "bitchy" because some women do this kind of thing (just as some men do) but not to label men rapists or murderers despite the fact they keep committing violence against women (and men)?

Incidentally the girls I'm friends with are the most supportive, kind, loving and inspiring people and I'm lucky to know them.

She's not a friend, she's a nasty piece of work! Just dump her from your life, don't be available when she calls, don't agree to go anywhere with her, and block her on all social media!

If this is what you call a friend. I'd hate to meet your enemies.
Get rid. You deserve better.
I had useless friends. You know the type that would only call when they wanted something.
Exclude me from nights out and would have the brass neck to talk about it in front of me, and Their excuse Was always. Oh we couldn't get hold of you, Spider.
Funny they never had any trouble gette hold of me. When they wanted something.
Anyway I bumped into one of the girls aunties and was told. "Ah why don't you go down and see our ......... She misses you. They all do. My reply was.
Well. They should have treated me properly, shouldn't they.

She sounds jealous of you. Commenting on you being skinny, not posting flattering pictures of you. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Start seeing other friends more and she and her silly ways will seem less important. She sounds very immature.

It always amazes me that women so regularly think nothing of criticising women in general. You'd rarely, if ever, get any other group of people so routinely and casually saying so about themselves (men, racial groups etc).

Surprised you need to ask OP. Definitely get rid, she's not a friend .

Why is it acceptable to label all women "bitchy" because some women do this kind of thing (just as some men do) but not to label men rapists or murderers despite the fact they keep committing violence against women (and men)?

Love this! I think the answer is because each woman is considered representative of her own sex, whereas men are seen as individuals.

Love your name angela

Incidentally I think 'men' get grouped together negatively too. Lets try not to blame an entire sex for any individual's bad behaviour.

Indeed Angela. The same as if a woman performs badly in a management role or as a boss, it's seen as proof "women" are unable to do it whereas a man doing so is just proof he personally can't.

My friends:-

Make an awful day bearable
Make an ok day good
Make a good day amazing.

And that is how I know they are good friends.

Why is it acceptable to label all women "bitchy" because some women do this kind of thing (just as some men do) but not to label men rapists or murderers despite the fact they keep committing violence against women (and men)?

Love this! I think the answer is because each woman is considered representative of her own sex, whereas men are seen as individuals.

As much as womenkind being labelled as bitchy frustrates me I don't agree that this is a fair comparison.

The 'bitchy' behaviours (on a spectrum starting with something like low-level gossiping) is not remotely not sex-specific (rape is) and that b) We (as humans not as women) have probably ALL done something on the spectrum of 'bitchiness' at some point, even if only starting to gossip about someone then stopping because it doesn't feel right. Rape is a horrific and serious crime ONLY committed by rapists.

I agree with FloofyFloo's post. I remember seeing a funny video clip by an American about how the British take the piss out their friends and introduce them like "This is my friend xxx, s/he's a right twat"!

Of course deliberately being nasty is a different kettle of fish.

And this is not women, its gender less (or rather both genders). As a man have seen men both straight and gay pull the same sort of stuff as mentioned in this thread, the majority being banter and jokes, but at times purposely bitchy and with the intention of isolating.

Why is it acceptable to label all women "bitchy" because some women do this kind of thing (just as some men do) but not to label men rapists or murderers despite the fact they keep committing violence against women (and men)?

Yes, good question.

ALL done something on the spectrum of 'bitchiness' at some point, even if only starting to gossip about someone then stopping because it doesn't feel right. Rape is a horrific and serious crime ONLY committed by rapists.

So you don't think rape jokes and other misogyny are on the spectrum of rape?

All men who ask "What did she wear?" when another man rapes a woman, are guilty of supporting rape culture.

Besides, if you claim that "bitchy" behaviour is not sex specific, then perhaps you should stop calling it "bitchy".

Being an asshole is not sex specific. Calling someone a female dog because you don't like them and then claiming that this insult is sex neutral is ridiculous. Insulting men by calling them female is misogyny.

Luckily I have one true friend who I would trust with my life ..
We don't see each other a lot but when we do it's like we seen each other yesterday.

And that's worth its weight in gold, Mia.
A friend is entirely different to a superficial mate.

I've ditched one of my "friends" who I have known since secondary school fairly recently after she turned exactly like this. Sly digs, never a nice word to say, showing off in front of others, passive aggressive comments -I just had enough and thought why am I even bothering when she clearly doesn't like me! I just gradually dropped off the radar and now haven't had contact for months. Life is too short for friends like that!

Some people can't feel good about themselves unless they are putting others down or making them feel upset. Its sad and pathetic, you are better off without leeches like that in your life.

VestalVirgin So you don't think rape jokes and other misogyny are on the spectrum of rape?

Yes, I would say they certainly are (and do get furious at people laughing at 'jokes' about rape), but infuriatingly plenty of women seem to be guilty of misogyny too, it's sadly not anywhere close to being exclusive to men.

All men who ask "What did she wear?" when another man rapes a woman, are guilty of supporting rape culture.

Besides, if you claim that "bitchy" behaviour is not sex specific, then perhaps you should stop calling it "bitchy".

To be fair, I wouldn't call that kind of nastiness 'bitchy' normally, hence the inverted commas. I'd say any person was being mean/nasty/out of order/manipulative - whatever I thought actually described the behaviour.

Being an asshole is not sex specific. Calling someone a female dog because you don't like them and then claiming that this insult is sex neutral is ridiculous. Insulting men by calling them female is misogyny.

Yes, I agree. I was using the word because the thread was started using that word. It could have said "why are all women so horrible to each other" and I'd have said "they aren't, people are horrible to each other". That was the point I wanted to make (possibly clumsily!), not that men can be 'bitchy' too. That, plus the fact that I disagree with comparing it to "why can't we call all men rapists if we can call all women bitchy". I'm no apologist for sexism, I just don't think they happen to be a valid comparison.

Aaaand that was rather long

Hope you find some better friends OP

PY your comment is unfair, MN is here for this exact purpose; to rant to strangers anonymously, what her bitchy 'friends' did isn't the same as coming on MN and venting without even mentioning where she lives, her name, etc, why are you a member of MN then if not to ask a load of strangers for advice?

To the original OP - this bitch is jealous of you and clearly unhappy within herself, if you were overweight then no doubt she would find a cutting remark to say about that, she wouldn't be jealous if you were overweight but she'd still be unhappy. I had a similar friend and I got rid of her 3 years ago in August past and my life and inner happiness is so much better now, in a strange way its flattering to have someone jealous/envious of you BUT only if they can recognise that their jealousy is their problem and not yours.

Ditch the Bitch.

Why is it acceptable to label all women "bitchy" because some women do this kind of thing (just as some men do) but not to label men rapists or murderers despite the fact they keep committing violence against women (and men)?

You must be unfamiliar with the Feminist board...

In my experience 100% of female bitchiness directed at another female is due to jealousy (and this is true for teenager girls too)

Surround yourself with friends that inspire you and build you up and aspire to be that kind of friend to others too.

You do not need todo end time with friends who treat you this way, is just back away from them, don't share any of your news with them anymore, forget to answer texts on time and be 'busy' next time you're invited out.