To think my mother is a nasty selfish bitch

[DontDeserveIt]

She's been really been particularly kind or nice to me but recently has Neville even nastier.
Didn't get a congratulations with my last pregnancy and this time the same. Nothing. Just a cats bum face when I told her.

The only time there was a flicker of anything was when I if an episode of bleeding she could t contain her smirking.
Luckily all was ok.

Yesterday was my 12week scan. I'd arranged would she collect ds from school as it was same time she barked at me "well what time will you be back????"
No good luck, nothing just a horrible attitude.
We got back and she left the room. Did t ask how it went didn't ask to see the photo just took herself off. Tried to say goodbye when we left she wouldn't speak.
I text her later to thank her for having ds. No reply but could see the text had been read.

Text her this morning just hello how are you today and got back 'I'm ill'
She does this all the time. It's not about her so she goes all weird. She has horrible with my last pregnancy too. I've never met somebody so unkind and uncaring wtf is wrong with her.
The only time she seemed happy was when I was bleeding 😔

*never been nastier

Sounds like my MIL

if she is so nasty why are you relying on her for any sort of child care? you have two choices either you confront her and tell her exactly how you feel or you go NC.

she isn't going to just wake up one day and change. is she menopausal? it can make you behave very oddly - it did me any way.

Is she concerned with you having more children - do you have any money worries and she thinks another child will cause more problems? Or is she worried she will be asked to do more babysitting or childcare - if you work?

I'd love bomb!

Oh dear! Well alls well with the baby and the scan went well - were so excited and can't wait for you to meet him/her

I just can't understand the no congratulations no good luck no how did it go or wanting to see the photo ? It really upset me especially after her reaction to me bleeding that wasn't normal

There was nobody else to ask and it was literally pick up and just an hour. She's fine with dsis baby was happy with the pregnancy etc and helps and was enthusiastic it's just me I think
No issues like money etc that could be concerning her as everything's fine. She's very demanding though and relies on my help and often wants me to help dsis but I do t mind that and wasn't going to stop due to being pregnant myself so not sure she would be thinking that even but I can't fathom it

I had exactly the same in all three of my pregnancies. She simply couldn't be happy. It's horrible and painful but I learned to just ignore her. Hopefully she will be different when the baby arrives. I'm so sorry as I really do know how you feel and yes she is selfish and nasty! My own DD is pregnant with her second baby and while I worry that they can't afford it etc, I am over the moon for her. I will never treat my children like that

In fact my mother said each time ' well hopefully you'll miscarry'

Is she concerned with you having more children - do you have any money worries and she thinks another child will cause more problems? Or is she worried she will be asked to do more babysitting or childcare - if you work?

This.

It sounds like she disapproves of you getting pregnant to me.

No, not menopausal that was about a decade ago and although she was dreadful with it it settled down she's just permanently unkind to me and demanding

The only thing I can think is that she sees a new baby as meaning I'll do less for her. We give her a lift to work on our way through each day and it will mean that there's not a spare seat in car for her anymore so wonder if it's things like that ? But that's no reason to behave how she is she's taking it to a level I've never witnessed before she obviously hates me for being pregnant. She could t make it more obvious

I'd kind of brushed aside the reaction to bleeding as it was part disbelief on my part as could t believe it butbyesteray has made me realise she doesn't want my baby to be ok and can't even say good luck before a scan. It really hurts

I'm gobsmacked, str4nge, thsts absolutely awful.

OP, if I were you I'd spend less and less time with your mum or speaking to your mum. That behaviour isn't helping anyone.

She didn't congratulate last time but wasn't awful. It's inlynsinev I've got pregnant this time she's upped the nastiness

Only since

Well put it this way dh was going to take her stuff to the tip for her this week and he hasn't gone and I think she will be getting the bus to work from now till end of term

Is she only like this when you are pregnant? Or is she a cunt all the time?

You have to cut her out - at least for a while. I had to with my last DC. It was when she refused to look at my scan pic and said I was selfish for having another one when I had two already. The odd thing was that as soon as they were all born they were wonderful and unlucky to have such a poor mother (me!) It's clearly a mental health thing with women like that. I am now in the difficult position of having to care for her.

She is generally demanding and can be very 'off' but usually is 'ok'. Last time was not great no congratulations and no Rea interest in me or baby while he was very little and I was preoccupied as looking back I can see I wasn't useful to her.
This time is worse. I can't put up with it yesterday was horrendous she was just rude and nasty. You'd have thought even if she wasn't happy she could have at least said the right things but no

Why are you doing so much for and spending so much time with someone who is not kind to you?

I know she gave birth to you but you don't need to be indebted to her for that.

Just say to her that you know she's not pleased with you so you'll be spending less time with her.