AIBU to ask you how I can look more 'polished' and 'put-together' please?

[HelloPossums]

Hi everyone,

Could I please ask you all for some advice on how I can look 'polished' and 'put together' please? (Inspired by another recent thread in Style and Beauty),

To give some context, I'm blonde with very fair skin (and quite short - around 5 foot?), and in my mid-twenties.

In terms of people whose style I like, I really like things that Kim Murray (Andy Murray's wife) wears, as well as Kate Middleton and, randomly, Brigitte Macron and Queen Letizia of Spain.

I tried going through my wardrobe a couple of months ago to try and see if I could get a 'capsule wardrobe', but I'm just not sure what suits me

Could you all give me a hand please?

Thanks everyone :)

Have a good team around you.
What I mean by that is these women look great (especially Queen Leitzia - she's immaculate) because they get help in.

Their clothes fit because they get things altered - either learn to DIY or find a local place that does alterations. Some surprising places will do. in-store alterations such as Uniqlo or Lululemon btw!
Their faces look good as they keep their teeth in good nick (part of the scaffolding!), they take care of their skin (can be done at home), tidy brows (ditto) and are not pulling faces because their shoes or bra hurts (fit again).
Clothes and shoes are cared for (dry cleaners, ironing, cobblers...).
They have great posture (Pilates or nagging by parents?).
They think about where money shows (patterns! White shirts!) and where it doesn't (Uniqlo merino and tees, tights) and when to get a cheap thrill (one season fun items).
They accessorise - even no accessories is an active choice (when you buy something, look at the accessories in the same brand, you might find ideas to pull things together. J Crew is great for this).
They do the maintenance (hair especially, but even simple things like trimmed, buffed nails or using a foot file regularly).

They work at it, but not alone. Yes, chucking money at your appearance helps, but not always. It doesn't mean looking boring or corporate, it is self-care so to speak.

I once had a friend who ALWAYS looked 100% polished, no matter if she was in a gym kit or a ball gown. Eventually I narrowed it down to two things - she always had beautifully manicured nails (acrylics) and dangly earrings. Oh and Pandora bracelets! I still stick to these things myself and I generally always feel good about my appearance (despite being a good 3 stone overweight!!)

I agree about feeling ok with yourself. One the most beautiful polished and graceful women I have ever met was the wife of my ex boss. She would have been in her late fifties.

I only ever saw her in her NHS supplied physiotherapists uniform of top and trousers. That woman exuded confidence, grace and had a beautiful smile she actually seeemd to glide when she walked. Considering when very young I had been a model and met people paid for being allegedly attractive, well no one came close to her.

On a practical note take great care with underwear, apply make up so it looks as natural as possible. Learn to walk well and consider what your wearing on your feet. If you can't walk well in heels it looks dreadful. Be very careful with patterns, they are very tricky.

Nude shoes lengthen the leg but my goodness you are far too young to be going for what is essentially a much older woman's look. I'm someone that should be dressing like that but I'm still found more in combat trousers and a t.shirt.

Regarding weight, I had to sign a contract that forbade me to put on weight or cut my hair. I just never ever snacked and ate smallish portions, I am also not a big drinker. That was when I was very young and it just became a habit. Weight is tricky as anything because of the emotion attached to eating, social acceptance, rejection etc. There is a weight loss section in here maybe look there but personally I have never ever cut out a food group.

I feel your pain. We are a family of short women with generous Breasts. It is hard to look chic even if you are slim .I am 5 feet tall and find that I get the best fitting clothes from Uniqlo. I wear similar colours top and bottom so that I don't get cut of half way through. I don't layer clothers as this makes me feel frumpy.

I don't wear belts or have big jewellery. I like tops to come below my waist but not below my hips. Long tops seems to make be look like a Druid. I prefer flat shoes but know I look a bit more polished with a healed shoe or boot.

My daughter, who 4.ft 11 with GG breast and size 10 hips always seem to get it right. She wears lots of cross over tops and dresses. Floral soft trousers, with dark tops. Recently she bought a bottle green silky jump suit and she looked amazing.

I think the tips on here are really good. I am glad. Youmstarted this thread.

I don't look all that polished...but my "staple" look always includes crystal stud earrings and a simple crystal ring. Cubic zirconia if you will, in silver. If you can afford diamonds, even better!
This just help you look a bit "put together" and requires zero maintenance.
I'd love to be an "accessory" person but it's too much effort although they do make a difference.
I have known people who "get their colours done" and would like to do this (but can't be arsed) but having a bit of variety in colours can help!

Hair is the key. If you have clean blow dried or straightened (whatever your style is) hair that looks 'done' then you can wear mostly anything. Whereas the most beautiful outfit ever will never look put together if you have hair in a scrappy ponytail or needing washed etc.

Most shop chAnging cubicles have harsh unflattering lights. Wear something you know suits you when shopping (maybe someone else has admired it). Also have hair and makeup nice, try lots of things on eg min 6 items, I find if something looks ok I should buy it, in the harsh light I look old and haggard and anything that is not making me look more Old and haggard is probably flattering.
Also I can compare how it looks by putting on the outfit I came in, as good as or not.
This way you buy stuff that looks ok on you, not cos you like the fabric or it is in the sale.

Hair well cut, and if you colour it, keep on top of it.

Nails always perfect - if your nail varnish chips, take it off that evening, or at least re-do that finger.

Eyebrows are vital - have them properly threaded every couple of weeks and use dye (you can do it at home cheaply) AND powder (pencil can be too heavy) to get the right fullness and soft definition. I use Anastasia brow powder with an angled brush and it has been nothing short of transformative, particularly if you are fair.

Navy is a much under-estimated colour - invest in a good lightweight wool navy blazer (£250+) and have it altered to fit your perfectly. When I have tried on blazers in places that are just out of my price range, like Joseph or The Kooples, I have also wanted to weep at how much better cut and sturdier they are than their equivalent in Zara.

One of my best friends is short and busty, so she just takes it as a given that everything has to be altered to fit. She doesn't have to trawl the shops looking for a dress to fit her chest without being a tent any more - she buys the thing she wants, and takes it to a tailor. If you start treating that as the thing you HAVE to do, you can stop compromising.

Capuchine Safyurtlu is my fashion icon, and when I was working out what I would need to do to revamp my wardrobe more towards her look I looked her up on Pinterest/Google Images and wrote down all the common pieces:

Colours: Navy, black, white, grey, light blue, never ever pattern.
Shoes: black heels with pointy toes, generally always black everything
Accessories: black leather belt, about 1 inch wide, with EVERYTHING
Bag: small, never over-stuffed, usually black or white
Hair: natural, loose, casual
Lower half: black skinny jeans, cigarette pants, unless jeans, always hits at or just above ankle.
Makeup: natural

The belt thing was quite a revelation for me. (Samantha Cameron also does belts - she has little waist definition (like me!), and creates the illusion of one with skinny belts with everything she wears.) You can get really nice belts in H&M for about £5.99 to experiment with.

I'm not saying I now dress like a carbon copy of CS, but it's no harm to have ONE person with your sort of body type whose style you consistently admire when she is both dressed up AND casual, so you can focus on what she does, instead of just vaguely saying "smart wealthy women who I only ever see dressed for a royal, Wimbledon or G20-related event".

All the women you mention (as said above) are certainly polished, but much much older than you and/or renowned for their dull style. They are also tall and skinny, so there's no point emulating them if you are not also tall.

OMG that was long. Sorry!

After reading the thread, I should feel very "not to put together" and in a way I suppose i'm not. I generally wear, short fitted dresses, long cardigans thick tights, flat shoes and have slightly wild, curly long hair. When I wear trousers; theyre wide leg with layers - always layered, and for an extra confidence boost I wear acrylics (french manicure ) but you know... I get a fair amount of compliments on my style. My coat (the most expensive item i have ever bought) is five years old and people stop me in the street to comment on it. I am so far from chic it's funny but have been told I am seen as reassuringly confident and capable and am often the person sent out to see difficult clients. I guess I disarm them by not looking like the corporate suit they expect

Don't be afraid of getting your clothes tailored, this is what a lot of famous/fashion people do with high street clothes, they buy off the shelf then have small alterations done to perfect the fit. I recently read something written by a fashion magazine intern, and she said this is the secret to always looking well put together.

Also underwear is super important, £5 tshirt over a £50 bra looks so much better than a £50 tshirt over a £5 bra. Imo, that's the first place to invest money. It will improve your posture and how garments fit so much.

I think most people do look better with a bit of makeup, if you're unsure, approach someone at a makeup counter who's personal look you admire and ask for help, I've always found benefit, urban decay and bare minerals staff really helpful and they are usually very happy to explain how to apply products to achieve the look you are after and many will give you free samples to go away and try. With foundation, always check in natural light before committing to a shade.

Good eyebrows make a huge difference to your face, £20 for a wax and tint every few weeks is well worth it.

Blowdried hair is also awesome. Even if you're wearing an up do, blowdry first, it makes a difference!

Like others have said, polished doesn't have to mean frumpy, and I think in your 20s it's possible to look put together on a budget. It's not necessarily about the clothes you wear, one person can put on jeans, a tshirt, a jacket and boots and look a mess and another will look like an off duty model due to the way they wear them, their posture, hair, face and skin imo.

You always get someone on these threads saying 'Oh just let your natural inner spirit shine through, that's far more attractive...'

But, in the real world people really do tend to judge by appearance, so it might be worth giving your hair a quick brush, and applying a bit of lippy as well as letting your inner spirit shine forth...

Good teeth
Natural make up
Freshly washed hair
Good watch
Good underwear
Regular pedicure
Good perfume
Well cut jeans

No. God no. Especially the pedi

Why not? unless you think rough skin and cracked heels are a particularly attractive foot feature?

StillDrivingMeBonkers

She means French mani/pedi. Height of 10 years ago/TOWIE. Nude (Essie has dozens of nudes) or a confident darker shade like Chanel Rouge Noir (Essie has a perfect dupe for it, but I forget the name).

It's hair, skin, nails and teeth. Those are the basic blocks for the polished look.

A good blow dry every week. A subtle colour if you need it. Well hydrated skin (low alcohol, low caffeine, plenty of veg in your diet, no processed foods) with a tone that comes from regular exercise. Manicured nails less than a centimetre from the end of your fingers in a nude shade. And subtle white, clean teeth with no stains and healthy gums.

Once you have that, then the second stage is "radiating". Queen Letizia is wonderful at this. This is where you look as though everyone around you is a wonderful person that you are delighted to meet. The old trick for this is to practice in the mirror. Smile gently and then softly say "brush", and then hold it. Feel how your face feels in the aftermath of saying "brush". That's sort of what you are trying to achieve.

A lot of looking polished is a demeanour that's more about attitude than clothing. Wealthy women who look angry or cross don't look polished, regardless of how great their skin and hair is, or how expensive their bag.

It's all about the basics, skin, hair, nails and eyebrows. The key is daily attention to your skin, double cleanse and good moisturiser, body and hand/foot lotion. You can have your eyebrows done professionally once and keep them that shape with tweezers. But it is daily effort rather than money spent that makes the difference.

The same effort needs to be applied to your clothes. Always clean and pressed, shoes cleaned etc.

Underwear is key. It needs to fit with no bulges.

Before you buy anything new, turn all the hangers the wrong way in your wardrobe and if you wear something, turn the hanger the right way round. At the end of the month, throw everything out that you haven't worn (unless coat/winter stuff or evening wear).

Look at the things left. What do you feel good in? What fits nicely? What do you actually need (i.e. Buy for the life you live rather than in your imagination)?

My own capsule for work as an example.

3 work suits in navy. All different.

5 work shirts, 3 different white and 2 patterns.

3 prs of work shoes that do all seasons.

2 pairs of trousers that go with navy suit jackets.

2 cardigans to wear instead of jackets.

The above get worn in all seasons.

I am not as organised about my casual clothes! But I do look polished and professional at work.

And a designer handbag or watch doesn't make up for ill fitting clothes or anything else.

TerfwithaNerf

Sure it can be done. You buy the clothes from tailored outlets with a more contemporary stance. Obviously you buy the separates elsewhere other than Edinborough Woollen Mill or Debenhams or other old lady places

1. Plan your outfit. Don't put on your underwear before you know what top, belt and shoes etc you are putting on. I am guilty of not doing this.

2. Look in the mirror. Adjust. Look again during the day. Adjust again . Again I don't really do this but when I do it makes a difference!

Women that I admire in terms of style - and I mean everyday not "famous" - have one thing that defines them. For example always perfectly applied red lipstick, a fantastic haircut, impeccable shirts,statement accessories. And above all as others have said a sense of what suits them and makes the most of what they have, if you are short then focus on your tiny waist, the fact you can always get a dress or a skirt in a good petite or standard fitting, that you can wear a classic stiletto and not feel gargantuan. If you are tall with great legs and ankles then ballet pumps and Capri pants or slim fit ankle grazer.

Work with what you have and try some personal stylist or shopper service out,and experiment, you are sometimes surprised at what really suits you. Don't put a square peg in a round hole.

And always always a good fitting bra whatever size cup.

And find a pair of jeans that make you look and feel great. I believe there is a perfect pair for us all out there!

Any woman regardless of age or size is always attractive and engaging if she is comfortable in her own skin and has learned how to make the most of the lovely features she has been born with.

DianaMitford

I am sorry but acrylic nail, Pandora bracelets and drop earrings are all no-nos on my list of chic and polished. Acrylic nails are the work of the devil, Pandora bracelets are worn by teen girls and earrings should be diamond studs.

HighlyInternational

Is that you? You are pretty, have lovely skin and a terrific figure. My grandma could wear that outfit! You need to go younger and trendier!

My sister has told me that friends of hers have always commented on how "smart" and "well put together" I look.
I've tried to think why this is and can only think that it is because I am a little bit obsessive about everything I wear (and carry) being fully co-ordinated, in fact it hurts my eyes to see someone wearing shoes that don't co-ordinate with their outfit!
People who wear different styles colours all together can either look quirky or a mess (it is usually just a mess).
Look at the people whose styles you admire, their hair is usually looking clean, conditioned, and tidy, make up in place, and their clothes shoes bags all co-ordinate.
As a previous PP mentioned the debenhams personal shopper service is brilliant . My SIL always uses it for outfits for special occasions and they never let her down

Highly International

Seriously, you could dress in a much younger yet still chic and put together way. Follow Olivia Palermo - she is young and slim and beautifully put together, clothes-wise, but not granny-esque.

Wow thanks everyone! :) Your advice has been brilliant - I'm just heading out, but I'll read through your posts properly when I'm back :)