AIBU to ask you how I can look more 'polished' and 'put-together' please?

[HelloPossums]

Hi everyone,

Could I please ask you all for some advice on how I can look 'polished' and 'put together' please? (Inspired by another recent thread in Style and Beauty),

To give some context, I'm blonde with very fair skin (and quite short - around 5 foot?), and in my mid-twenties.

In terms of people whose style I like, I really like things that Kim Murray (Andy Murray's wife) wears, as well as Kate Middleton and, randomly, Brigitte Macron and Queen Letizia of Spain.

I tried going through my wardrobe a couple of months ago to try and see if I could get a 'capsule wardrobe', but I'm just not sure what suits me

Could you all give me a hand please?

Thanks everyone :)

One really expensive handbag and one really, really good watch. Then whatever to go with it. Seriously...

Some of the best experienced, wealthiest people I have ever work with have worn clothes that are comfortable but awesome. But...they all had a fantastic watch and an amazing handbag.

Thanks everyone for all of your replies :) your suggestions about the Debenhams personal shopping service are fab, thanks.

I think ephemeralfairy makes a really good point when she says that polished and put-together doesn't necessarily have to mean frumpy and conservative.

At the moment, I'm starting to get a better idea of which colours suit me.

I think the main thing is that, because I'm so short, I struggle to find clothes that fit well. It doesn't seem to be so much of a problem with dresses, as you can get quite a few nice fitted styles, but it can be hard to find trousers that fit well and that don't need to be altered.

I also feel a bit of pressure to be thin as well (please don't flame me for bringing weight into this! ), because I'm short. I'm not saying that I am thin - I'm just saying that I find it hard to lose weight and to maintain it at my height as well. Although I fully understand that this is not just something that somebody who is 5 foot might find hard.

Any tips for weight loss and maintenance would be great as well please :)

Mumson crack, is it impossible to be stylish if you can't afford "one really expensive handbag"?

No disrespect but anyone 5 foot is going to struggle to resemble the people you list. Polished is just that - neat, trimmed, swishy hair, clean nails and good shoes and teeth. Boring if you ask me. Sorry that was no help. But the people who catch my eye are always that little bit different. Polished is nice sure, but dull.

I think: nice bag that's to your personal taste, eyebrows done in a way you like (including not at all!), shoes clean and in good nick, ditto nails, hair clean and neat-ish. I also read something once that said two items is clothes but three is an outfit. So a top and jeans is just clothes but you can add a scarf or jacket or statement jewellery or whatever to make it an outfit. Quite simple but it works.

I would say:

Wear simple shapes in neutral or bold colours but not together!

Wear appropriate clothes for the day. I was at the beach in the south coast of England and some women looked totally out of place in spikes high heels and little pastel dresses.

Really decent fabrics: cashmere, suede, etc

Pale colours can loook amazing, especially something like a pale cashmere coat

In terms of people whose style I like, I really like things that Kim Murray (Andy Murray's wife) wears, as well as Kate Middleton and, randomly, Brigitte Macron and Queen Letizia of Spain

One thing everyone on that list has in common is that they are "put together" very expensively.

Mentally visualise yourself in a brand new outfit with salon styled hair and make-up. Now visualise yourself in the same outfit, but one that's slightly faded and creased from being washed several times, along with your normal day hair and make-up. Not the same is it?

Anyway my tips would be:

1. Be well groomed.
2. Avoid overdone makeup (e.g. heavy make-up on both eyes and lips).
3. Avoid fussy clothes and accessories, especially mismatched choices. Choose simple classic styles that fit well and co-ordinate.

• Regular trims for hair. Doesn't need to be an expensive haircut, but getting rid of ratty split ends instantly takes it up a notch.
• Posture.
• Wear clothes that fit. Better to wear a £10 dress from Primark than a £500 one from Selfridges that's too big, small, short or long.
• Invest in things like macs, jeans, decent coats- outfit makers that you'll wear again and again for a few seasons. Spend a bit extra and them tailored to fit (see above)- i do this and having coat arms that don't hang round your knuckles really helps!

You might like the Banana Republic petite range, it's pretty good and the sort of look you're going for. I don't think you need to spend a vast amount of money to get what you're after but there's more cost for maintenance or boring things like seamstresses or hair trims than exciting purchases.

Pinterest/Instagram are great for collecting outfits and 'capsule' looks.
Always legs or cleavage, not both.
Look at lookbooks on YouTube, Dina Tokio does quite modest ones that can be replicated, a few others like Sophie Shohet are good at showing how to dress in a more 'luxe' but put together way.
Fashion pages, knowing what is on trend colour wise can be helpful for a few statement pieces to go with staples.

Echo the good nails, teeth and hair. Oh hair...always clean and subtly coloured. Nothing garish for nails or hair. No visible underwear. Good shoes/bag, simplicity always key.

Find what colours suit you/try on clothes...have fun making the look yours.

TooExtra did your gran never tell you to put clean knickers on in case you got run over?
Or have you had a humour bypass with your FFS?

I think style is about dressing appropriately for where you are. I was once at a fashion event in Dublin that was in a park one winter morning and there were women walking about in cocktail dresses shivering with their heels digging into the mud. They looked ridiculous. So that- no thick tights in the sun, no hair blowing all over the place on a windy day, etc.
Don't wear anything that doesn't fit you properly. Maybe get a sewing machine so you can do your own hems?
My grandmother said you can tell a lady by her shoes and her bag. Don't buy tat for either of those- but they don't have to be designer prices. Original vintage bags are often great. If you're buying quality stuff that you like, eventually you'll have a collection of stuff that goes together. Keep it in good condition- no loose threads, dropped hems, missing buttons, worn-down shoes etc. Nice jewellery, again no cheapie teenage tat. Hair is important, get a cut that YOU can sort out on your own, shouldn't be too over-processed unless that's your individual style. Clean make up, clean nails, teeth as nice as you can get them. Good luck!

I don't "get" the handbag thing. I wouldn't be able to recognise whether a bag was expensive or not. They just look like any old handbag to me.

And don't get me started on cardigans with three quarter length sleeves. One of the most pointless pieces of clothing ever. If I am cold enough to need a cardigan I want sleeves down to my wrists.

Well cut hair
Subtle make up

With regard to clothes, dress in what shuts you. It's pointless me telling you I have a nice pair of linen slacks (I'm 5'11") if you are 5 foot nothing. But as a rule - buy once, buy expensive, by timeless classic and dress things up with cheaper items such as scarves.

Shoes should always be comfortable. No one looks good in 8 inch killer heels and platforms if the stagger like a paralytic new born baby deer who is attempting to ice skate.

Loafers, chinos, linen shirts, pearls - great for a SAGA Cruise holiday!

OP wear what you like - clean, ironed and matching! Brush your hair and smile!

Personally I think navy looks way more expensive than black (you can tell I cheap black a mile off) brown leather rather than black too for same reason. I nice watch. If you can afford it buy some nice trousers and take to a dress maker and ask them to tailor them to you (not with jeans - you can always tell shortened jeans)

Are you prepared to invest money in this? If yes I would recommend getting your style and colours analysed by house of colour. Trinny and Susannah used them. If you like the way 3 royals dress then youre probably a classic of some sort.

House of colour, biggest waste of 2 hours of my life! I'm a Blue Spring, apparently, which means I suit all colours!

I spend money on good shoes, nice winter boots especially, jeans and coats/jackets. Minimal but quality jewellery and always have my nails and eyebrows done. I don't tend to follow trends and don't wear overly fussy items.

I'm not saying I'm polished but I think I generally look pretty good!

Here's my input:
A good shirt
A decent three quarter sleeve jacket
Nude flats
A nice fitting pair of jeans
Hair well maintained
Glass of gin (personal preference of course )

I like to dress casual but I don't think I'm polished by any means!

Get fit. Work on your core and it will help your posture. It also means you can put on any smart dress and look good. That will give you confidence.
Also, find a good love that does gel toe nails. They should last 4 weeks if done well, that gives you one less thing to worry about. Finally, a good haircut and kniwxwgen your roots are showing

Sorry for the typos.
Good place that does gel toe nails
Know when your roots are showing

French mani and pedi

No. God no. Especially the pedi 😱

My input,
Things to invest in; a good quality coat (single breasted military style classic, not in black. I love Jaeger outlet stores for this). Boots (I love H by Hudson ankle boots), Handbags (osprey or modalu in the sale are my favourites) and jewellery (I buy unique things at auction when I can rather than high street). A decent well fitted tailored jacket (Ted baker has a scallop jacket this season I'm in love with it)
Dress for the weather, dress for the occasion, dress for your body shape, only nod to fashion if it works for the first three. Wear only shoes you can walk in. Nothing classy about hobbling.
I love skinny belts with skirts and dresses. I have loads and match to shoes and or bags. I also like colourful scarves in winter.
I like Oasis for more structured t shirt tops and Gap for stretch skinny trousers which are a bit smarter than jeans but super comfy. Don't dismiss vintage, I have some nice 50s style dresses that still look smart and I like that they are rare.
Good luck.

Properly fitting underwear.

No clothes look good over the four boob look or saggy boobs.

I don't understand the MN love for nude shoes or three quarter length sleeve jackets. I have long arms and they always look like I couldn't find a jacket to fit me.

If you're not sure of your style why not go shopping with a good friend and pick out outfits for each other. You will end up checking out different styles you wouldn't normally pick. We call it the Primark challenge - you dont need to buy anything just try on and get an idea about what looks suit you.

Another tip is before buying anything think about what its going to go with and buy the shoes, top, jacket that will go with it.

You are young though so please dont model yourself on any of the women you mentioned. They dress like older women, very boring style... (and I am one !)... Check out what other women your age are wearing, to work, on the bus, in town, wherever and think which looks you think are the nicest. Ask people where they got things from if you work with them or vaguely know them etc. Read magazines and check out the next seasons looks.

I'd go more down the line of good smart jeans, crisp white shirt, leather jacket. Get a few staples of good jeans/ciggarette pants and pretty shirts/tops, with either flats or heels for more dressy. Dont over dress and do simple. A good haircut and shoes help, nails if thats you. Have a few more expensive or special tops.

But also have fun with colour and more stand out items that express yourself. No need to be boring.