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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Need a hand hold.

78 replies

AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:22

Please?

Someone?

I'm not coping and I'm really struggling.

There's no one in my life whose listening to me. I'm postnatally depressed, just moved house and will spend the weekend alone in a house with 4 children, with a kitchen I can't even get into because of mess and boxes. I'm so tired, so tired of having no control over my life. So tired of everyone sweeping me away.

OP posts:
Bluesrunthegame · 14/07/2017 19:25

Sorry you're feeling so low. Here are some Flowers and I hope you feel better soon.

People will be along soon who can make sensible, heartening suggestions. Lots of people will have your back, I'm just wishing you well.

ConstanceCraving · 14/07/2017 19:26

I'm here OP. Have you been to the GP? How old is the baby?

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 14/07/2017 19:28

Have my hand. Have both!

Your house will not be like this forever and things will get better. Do you have any family/friends around to help sort things in the house. Don't be alone-we're here for youFlowers

FreudianSlurp · 14/07/2017 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:29

Yes. I was given citalopram. I also have therapy booked for Tuesday. It feels an age away.

OP posts:
Justhadmyhaircut · 14/07/2017 19:30

Anyone close by who can help unpack?
I am free all weekend if you are my way. .

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 14/07/2017 19:31

Oh OP here's another hand to hold Flowers Have you a partner who can help? Even to give you an hour or two to yourself?

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:31

My family are the ones I feel have taken control. I've tried to talk to them but they just keep saying it's in the past and I need to move on. I feel so lonely and angry.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 14/07/2017 19:32

Where are you op? I'm by myself this weekend too x

missyB1 · 14/07/2017 19:33

Do you have any family/ friends who would help unpack or mind the kids for a bit if you asked? I appreciate it's not always easy to ask.
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, it's crap and I sincerely hope you start getting better soon.

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:35

I was a bit of a hoarder and have downsized so a lot has had to go. Everyone was trying to make it easier on me by leaving me with the baby and just moving everything around me. Things just thrown into backs of cars or not wrapped to be kept safe. I feel awful for being so angry and keep being told I'm ungrateful. I just feel so lost in a world that doesn't feel comfortable or familiar.

OP posts:
Sushi123 · 14/07/2017 19:36

I'm not depressed, but have completely lost control of housework. Sometimes I wish you could hire a granny. Always hearing about loneliness in the elderly, the perfect solution.... come round to mine and just be here while I do stuff;)

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:41

It's taken two weeks to sort and move everything because it was insisted I move as soon as I got the keys for the new place, even though I had a month left on the old one specially to give me time to sort and clear. No one knows where anything is and I feel so trapped.

OP posts:
Loulou0 · 14/07/2017 19:42

Hi OP, sorry you are feeling so low. Do you have to be alone in the house? Can you get out to visit someone?

Flowers
Stilllivinginazoo · 14/07/2017 19:47

Sweetheart,I feel for you I really do
How old are your DC?
Is the eldest bug enough help entertain little ones for short bursts
Pick one room and unpack for 29mins,put things away as you go.then stop.have cuppa/feed baby/be with DC.its hard but you are so overwhelmed.
Please remember pnd will pass in time,its a horrible illness,meanwhile pace yourself.moving house takes even most rational of people to the absolute edge.moving with kids doubles this.add in MH and you really are doing better than you think
Keep posting, it helps knowing others are there,listening,caring
If family helped pack,where are they now?!
If you want practical help I'm sure you post region you are in someone on mn will be local to help
Either way I offer you hands ti hold and comfort anytime you need it.x

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 19:49

I don't have anyone to visit. My partner is at work for the next three days. 15 hour days, and I think that he's disgusted with me. I have been so grumpy and horrible the last few days, despite all his hard work. I feel awful.

OP posts:
JamPasty · 14/07/2017 20:06

Hugs! Can you move the boxes into another room so you can at least use the kitchen? Everything feels better with a cup of tea/coffee inside you

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 20:09

I really feel I have no choice but to leave.

OP posts:
Fergus425 · 14/07/2017 20:10

What do you need, OP? x

Justhadmyhaircut · 14/07/2017 20:12

Are you with your dc op? They need you. . Can you ring a friend to come around. .?
Sure you must be near an Mner. .?

Sushi123 · 14/07/2017 20:14

Can you afford to hire a cleaner, just for 2 hours?

Silvereyes · 14/07/2017 20:14

Just keep talking here, we'll listen.

Don't leave, keep talking.

How old are your children?

Original poster
AragornsManlyStubble · 14/07/2017 20:16

They're 9,7, 5 and 7 weeks.

I really feel I need to leave. It's best for them.

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 14/07/2017 20:18

Any chance you could call your partner and say he needs to come back - childcare emergency. Does he know you have postnatal depression? When i was depressed my DH had to come home once when i just couldn't cope.

Any reason why you think he is disgusted with you? Is this a symptom of your depression? Have you been depressed before?

kaytee87 · 14/07/2017 20:19

It is not best for you to leave, that's your depression talking. You're overwhelmed understandably. Would it help if you wrote a list of everything you need to get done and just work through it one at a time, that usually helps me when I feel overwhelmed.