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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have lost all respect for several family members.

64 replies

Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 02:13

I have just watched my cousin in law drive away with a car load of in laws pissed!!
We were all leaving a meal, spoke to cousin, he was slurring his words and obviously drunk. Someone fetched his car keys, which I questioned and everyone suddenly started ignoring me. They all got in the car and let him drive them! They all knew, my DP is now annoyed with me for trying to stop him and saying helpful drunken comments. No one backed me up at all and my kids witnessed the lot. DP, and the D is being generous tbh, has been obnoxious since we got home but has thankfully passed out now. I am gobsmacked. Was there anything else I could do? I was literally running around in the dark trying to get people to listen, and they just shut me down. I feel like I never want to see several of them again.

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 14/07/2017 02:18

You could have called the police so they stopped him.

Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 02:42

Unfortunately I had no way of doing that, otherwise I would have done tbh. I have never known so many people think that this is OK.

OP posts:
KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 14/07/2017 02:48

Is your phone dead?
Can you reach online crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/give-information-online/

Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 02:53

My phones cool now thanks, a small child had killed it with angry birds. You know what crimestoppers is a fabulous idea, thanks. I will do that.
I just cannot believe the grown ups all went along with it though, and shut me up as if I was unreasonable!

OP posts:
e1y1 · 14/07/2017 02:55

YADNBU.

It's not just the danger he is putting himself and his passengers in (but as the saying goes it's their funeral).

It's the other (innocent) road users he is putting in danger, something they had no choice/control over and they may now pay for it with their lives.

BILs best friend was killed by a drunk driver.

Completely and utterly fucking selfish. I wouldn't want to talk to them again either. I would have also phoned the police.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2017 03:13

My mum's friend's kid was killed by a drunk driver. The family has never recovered. It was 30 years ago and everyone's lives are still affected.

For a drink.

Jux · 14/07/2017 06:17

Where I live, the public transport is so bad (last train home at 9.30, last bus 7.00) and taxis so expensive that most people have done it. If the pubs and clubs and restaurants want to make the tiniest profit, then they turn a blind eye.

I don't drive, I don't drink, but then I don't go out in the evening either. Last time over a year ago.

TheMasterNotMargarita · 14/07/2017 06:37

I have previously taken someone's car

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 14/07/2017 06:46

I was knocked down by a drunk driver and he crushed my femur bone when I was 7, I now have a titanium rod in my leg.

I've have called the police there and then! And used th restaurant phone.

Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 08:35

Thanks so much for responding. I am glad. If we hadn't been outside the venue, with them all the car and the bride and groom present u would've fought the little twat. Will never forget this. I have a friend who was paralysed and her fiancee killed due to a drunk driver.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 08:35

Thanks so much for responding. I am glad. If we hadn't been outside the venue, with them all the car and the bride and groom present u would've fought the little twat. Will never forget this. I have a friend who was paralysed and her fiancee killed due to a drunk driver.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 08:38

Crimestoppers done. We will see.

OP posts:
Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 18:42

Thanks so much for your help. This situation is now going to turn into something else unfortunately as all adults in car have said it was fine. These are powerful who drive my children about. I have told my dp that I no longer want to see them, and neither will our kids.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 14/07/2017 18:47

You could/should have gone in to the restaurant/house (depending if meal was out or at familys house) and called the police there and then. Given details of the address they were driving to.
They have to actually be caught in the act for the police to do anything.

Sushi123 · 14/07/2017 18:51

Did you actually phone crimestoppers?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 14/07/2017 18:52

I had to call to report a complete stranger, 3 adults and a kid outside a Mcdonalds getting in to a van. Only 3 seats in the cab. The mum disappeared into the back of a transit with a child no more than 4 years old, one of those ones with no windows in the back at all, completely enclosed from the cab, no light that stays on once the doors are closed. A minute or two later she emerges, shuts the door shutting this 4 year old at most alone in the back secured god knows how as they don't have seats, got in the cab with the 2 males and drove off. Sadly i couldn't report it til half an hour later, had got the reg but by then they were almost certainly back home. police said would alert local units to keep an eye out but they would have to be caught in the act for any kind of charges to be made.

Tapandgo · 14/07/2017 19:45

Hope they lose their license and liberty.
If they can afford to get drunk, they can afford a taxi - selfish gits.
Thanks for reporting them.

Justhadmyhaircut · 14/07/2017 19:48

I reported my exh for drink driving. He lost his licence for a year and I filed for divorce.

Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 19:53

I did report to crimestoppers, maybe I should have called the police right then from the hotel. It was such a dreadful situation.

OP posts:
Decaffstilltastesweird · 14/07/2017 19:58

Yanbu. It's unbelievable that grown adults, in this day and age, think this is in any way acceptable. I'm glad you've reported it.

Sushi123 · 14/07/2017 20:12

So what was the outcome? Were they stopped and breathalysed?

Original poster
Beelzebop · 14/07/2017 22:33

The police will not get back to me, so I won't know.

The worst thing about this is that they will not even acknowledge the text I sent, my partner is also being ignored. I hope that this would be OK to send. This is a big step for me, standing up to the in laws. I am happy to ignore them for ever after.

Dear in-law,
Cousin drunk drove, in our country that's illegal. He could have killed you all. You and the rest of your family are in denial. I was ashamed in front of your nieces / nephews/grandchildren of all 4 of you. DP , cousin, you and your mum. You showed them that drink driving is acceptable. My friend was killed by a drunk driver and I will not have that example set to my children.

No reply at all. Has been read.

OP posts:
Yamayo · 15/07/2017 10:25

Good on you for sending it.

Supersoaryflappypigeon · 15/07/2017 10:29

Shock I can't believe you were the only person objecting to this!

Original poster
Beelzebop · 15/07/2017 15:10

Thanks and especially for the last comment. Neither can I, my dp turned into jelly. Glad you said that, thanks. Still no reply to either me or dp.

OP posts:
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