Stag do - WTF?

[SJaNH]

So my husband has just been invited to a stag do next year. Its for a good mate, godfather to our DD, so naturally he wants to go. However this is the plan..... 2 days skiing/snowboarding in Grenada, then road trip to Marbella for a few days of partying. All in all a 5 day holiday costing around £400 before adding extras e.g ski passes, ski hire, car rentals etc and then spending money on top. So realistically i'm thinking it's going to be around £1000 total, maybe more. We are saving hard to afford a family holiday this year (first one in 3 years), so personally I'm not sure about fully supporting this stag do. Also, why is it that men's stag do's seem to now just be lads holidays? We're not 18 anymore. Now married with 2 kids and 30ish. The groom to be doesn't have kids but similar age.

Yes it's pathetic really!

Does sound very excessive. Perhaps he can join just part of the stag do?

Could he just go for one part of it? Skiing or other bit?
But yes I agree totally ridiculous!

£1000? I think it'll come to more than that all told! Yes that's nuts, but probably lots of fun. If he goes you have to get an equally fun/expensive child free treat too!

It's ridiculous how extravagant these things have become.

I just read this post to my husband.

He cackled, sang 'fuck that shit' and said he'd rather go away with family.

The 'do' is ridiculous.

What happened to a night out locally a week before?? It's all fucking insane.

Good luck skiing in Grenada! [slinks off to pedants' corner]

Do you mean Girona? No need to drive all the way down Spain, surely they could stay up in Catalonia. Why spend a whole day in the car? Plus car hire and petrol.

I do think 5 day stag/hens are excessive though. Even bearing in mind lots of people are stretching their 'wedding day' into a 'wedding weekend'. I still don't think a week long stag/hen is necessary. Just call it a lads/girls holiday if you want a week in the sin with your mates.

*in the sun !!
Oops. Well maybe 'in the sin' works too for some people!

Bloody hell these trips get ridiculous

Yes it's pathetic really!

Oh yes, really pathetic that a group of people want to have fun with their friends while celebrating an important moment in their life

Just let him go.

It's a stag do.

What do you mean LightDrizzle? Why can't you ski in Grenada?
Well, okay not in the city itself, but the mountains just outside are known for skiing.

The stag trip sounds great, but why does the groom assume his mates will be able to afford this? Especially those who have families, who are on a tight income? Some will probably get into a bit of debt over this. It's a bit greedy. If he wants his mates on such a trip then maybe the groom should pay for the flight s and accommodation?

Why can't you ski in Grenada?

Because it's a Caribbean island. Lol

It does sound a bit OTT especially if you have a young family and small budget

Going for either the skiing OR the partying in Marbella sounds like a good compromise and I wouldn't be surprised that if your DH says he is doing that then a few of the other stags will follow suit

I don't see what's wrong with it. I think do whatever the hell you want to do for hens/stags/birthdays/whatever, once there is absolutely no pressure for anyone else to join you then I don't see the problem. Do what you like, once you don't crib if you end up there alone then it's no problem really. Some people would love this, others wouldn't, why its pathetic because the ones who wouldn't say so I don't get, it's only pathetic if you make people feel they have to join you

The skiing is presumably in the Sierra De Granada in Andalusia, about 2 hours' drive from Marbella.

Sounds like a lovely trip, but long and expensive. If your DH can't afford it or doesn't want to go, he needs to be upfront with his friend, the stag.

Can I go?

But yes, I know what you mean - it's the obligation of tbf expense that's difficult. I spend that much on skiing with friends each year but not at the expense of family holiday, I'm lucky to be able to - but I wouldn't be able to add eg a hen night in ibiza on top, and nor would I want to.

I don't get why stag dos/hen dos have to be so ridiculous now, They used to be traditionally a "last" night out, and you had a night out somewhere.
I had a great hen night at the pubs and clubs in a nearby town.
Think it's stupid how they seem to have morphed into massive holidays, and totally not fair on those who would love to come but baulk at the price/have family to consider.
Do what you like for your stag/hen, but don't expect everyone to be able to come to it.

I guess it's better than spending the night down the pub til you vomit and end up in a&e on a drip.

However for something that's meant to be celebrating with friends it's awfully demanding timewise and financially and a bit presumptive people can getbthem off work or pay for it as well as forking out to attend the wedding and for wedding presents.

I get people want more than an evening with a pub quiz bit it's taking it a bit far tbh

totally not fair on those who would love to come but baulk at the price/have family to consider.

They don't have to be anything. They are what people want them to be.

And as for not fair... you can't seriously be suggesting that people aren't allowed to go on holiday and have fun because others can't make it, surely?

He shouldn't feel pressured into attending if it's unaffordable. There's bound to be a UK night out too.

Can't you just have a chat with him and say if he goes on this trip it will likely mean no family holiday? Surely he will bow out gracefully.