To be at my wits end about our financial situation and not have a clue what to do?

[Endofmytethernow]

I'm feeling so low and worried about our situation so please be kind with replies.

Basically DH is the main earner, is self employed and for an amount of time a few months ago he did a huge amount of work for one company. He invoiced the company once he'd finished the work, the amount was in excess of £15k, and as yet they haven't paid him. He has chased the money multiple times but has had a varying response from the company ranging from 'Well, you should have savings to cover you for times when you're waiting for money' to telling him that he's been in the privileged position of doing a huge job for them and he should be appreciative of that and be willing to wait. He, understandably, doesn't want to piss them off as they have said there will be a lot more work in the future, and he doesn't want to burn bridges, so isn't willing to do much other than wait for the money and politely remind them from time to time.

The problem is, since this large job DH's industry has gone pretty quiet and he has only had tiny dribs and drabs of work since. He was banking on this money to keep him going for a few months. He has not paid himself a wage now for 4 months; we are at our overdraft limit now, have used up all of our savings, and to be quite honest are fucked!

I have my own small business which I have been building up during this time and to be fair I'm earning ok from it, and am earning enough to buy food, essentials, etc, but nowhere near the level DH earns! Also everything in the house and with the DCs is left to me so it's a real juggling act building it up whilst doing everything else.

It's getting me down so much and today I feel like I've hit a brick wall in terms of it all. We are talking of putting our house on the market and moving somewhere smaller as we have a good amount of equity, however DH decided the other day we needed a new kitchen floor and put a latex leveller on the floor, fucked it up and now it looks awful and we can't put the flooring down, so there is no way it can go on the market until it's done!

I am on long term antidepressants on a very low dose, which my GP refuses to increase. DH is in a constant bad mood because he's owed the money. The kids, especially our 13 year old, play up constantly. We're not entitled to any tax credits due to DH's income over the past year. We are screwed!

What the fuck can I do? I just want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep until it's all sorted.

"I am on long term antidepressants on a very low dose, which my GP refuses to increase."

hi OP
others are obviously helping with the claims stuff - which I don't know about I'm afraid. But as someone on long term meds, this jumped out at me. Why is your GP refusing to change them and do you need to see a different GP?

the way I explained it to one GP is this - I could probably go to work, manage constant IBS, exist in a state of insomnia so bad I end up nauseous and experience hair loss - and I could probably just about keep my job. But why should I have to? (That was for a GP who wanted me to come off them because he thinks you need to be in an asylum before anyone gives you any pills - it was years ago but sadly he is still a GP).

so if a higher dose will mean you cope better with your current troubles, then only a very good medical reason should result in a refusal e.g. it making you ill in other ways.

Meanwhile I'm sorry for your troubles

Re invoiced owing - does your husband want to take future work from a company that doesn't pay him? It's only a contract worth pursuing if they pay up. We've turned down working with companies that have been bad payers in the past.

If your husband is uncomfortable doing credit control himself, get an informed friend to help. I've sometimes helped my boyfriend draft invoice chasing emails as I used to do this a bit for a small company.

Tips: he needs to find out where the hold up is. Has the budget holder released payment? I always started by asking accounts when payment was expected, I'd usually find out if there was an internal delay. If internal that would be when I'd start sending statements and reminders. Once over terms, there's a set thing of escalation which is outlined in the links from other posters. 9 times out of 10 you don't need to get to that point and just not going away works. Intimating to him that he should be grateful he's not getting paid would make me more quick to reach for escalation, tbh.

On a practical level, is your husband's business a limited company?
Could he look at invoice factoring? It is expensive, but it might be a way to get eg 80% of the money fairly quickly.

Sorry to hear you're in this situation op. My husband owns a small business and we've had this happen to us. It's not nice. As a previous poster has said it's over 10k so not small claims. I'd get a free appointment with a solicitor to get some initial advice or look up at gov.uk. I would also ring the company's accounts department everything day. Pester power work she and as a previous poster said it is who shouts the loudest gets paid. I'd knock the idea off doing any further work for them and they can't bad mouth your husband as it would be slander. Good luck.

Why does he want to do work for a company who obviously don't respect him? They will only do the same (or worse) again, as he will be seen as a pushover. If this is the sort of way they treat people then don't worry about them bad mouthing him - other people will be able to see through it.

As already said, he needs to stand up to the company. The option of winding them up seems to be the best option imo.

Also, he needs to step the fuck up with childcare and housework if he isn't working.

Unreliable income is one of the worst aspects of being self employed. Re chasing the unpaid invoices - one the one hand, if you annoy your customers, they may not use you again, so you have to tread carefully. On the other hand, if you are a pushover, they may not respect you as a professional and may take advantage.

Also, depends who is the stronger in the relationship ie whether he needs them more or less than they need him (for future work). It's tricky.

Going forward, he might wish to issue terms of business to all new clients, to advise that interest will be charged

For this debt, he could rely on Late Payment of Commercial Debts (Interest) Act 1998

www.gov.uk/late-commercial-payments-interest-debt-recovery

Youhavetobekidding is spot on, your husband will have a statutory right to be paid within 30 days as a small business, and is entitled to charge a fee and interest once this is overdue. No lawyer or court threats needed. I did this with a client, they are no longer clients, but they paid up within 7 days once I sent them my bill for the interest. I wrote to them first to politely ask for payment within 7 days as the bill was already almost 90 days overdue and they were financing their business off the back of my overdraft! Please please do this, it depersonalises it all and you will have a cast iron case if you do go to court, plus if the client has cash flow difficulties you want to make sure you get your money out now. Good luck.

Oh and here's a link to sample letters: www.crunch.co.uk/late-payment-reminder-templates/

Are they just paying late or do you think theyre not going to pay at all?

Can you get a job? If he's not working he can look after the kids/house etc.

Can he get a job instead of being self employed?

Could he look at invoice factoring? It is expensive, but it might be a way to get eg 80% of the money fairly quickly

I work for a bank and our Factoring agreements will only pay out for invoices dated after the agreement began - I think most are similar, no bank wants to take on an agreement where they already have to chase bad debts.

Phone the bought ledger department at the company. Every day. Sometimes twice a day. Be really nice, but persistent. I have done this in the past and they get so sick of you that they eventually get the cheque out to you. Good luck!

They aren't paying him because why should they when he's being so nice about it? Ring them up, give yourself a title of finance manager or similar, don't be nice, make it v clear legal proceedings will follow (even if they aren't).

Accountant here
The client is taking the piss
set a tame solicitor onto them right away

Dh. Worked for barclays and they took 6 months to pay him.

Why didn't he get a cash advancement for material and labour?

I would send them a 7 day letter to be honest! They can't treat him that way! And if his work and prices are good enough, they'll be back I am sure. They sound like they're having him on. It is absolutely not fair that you have to go through this when they owe him so much money. And what if they don't pay and he never sees another scrap of work from them anyway? And does he really need clients that treat him this way? I'm sorry if my response is unhelpful or I have misunderstood the circumstances but I feel angry for you.
I'm sorry you feel this way and in really hope this gets resolved for you

Others have already covered the debt and him doing fuck all, so I'll go with the house sale. Why do you think you can't put the house on the market with the kitchen floor a mess? Of course you can. Yes, you'll get less for it than you otherwise would because the new buyer will have to sort the flooring out. But that doesn't mean it can't sell. Simply price it to reflect that this piece of work needs doing, if moving is important to you. You have enough equity to cushion it, by the sounds of things. And lots of buyers would want to do their own kitchen anyway.

Some people do take 3-6 months to pay, my husband is self employed. it can be stressful, especially if they have paid out expenses to do the work. If the time has passed then yes suggest he chases it up. Mine hates doing this too, so have no real advice but I do understand.

Also think if the income may be lower this year you can contact tax credit and give them a lower estimate for this year. Then, if it gets higher as the year goes on, you can contact them again.

When I worked in accounts payable a special delivery letter (with copy of invoice) setting out the invoice value and interest due would obtain prompt payment of the original invoice amount but we never paid the interest.

I worked for a big company, but the insistence of the credit control clerk chasing us only affected affected speed of payment, not the commercial relationship with the vendor.

Maybe if you start saying things like house sale and remortgage he will do something or even get other work, as it may shock him into the reality of it.

i wouldn't worry about future work.. and they don't pay their bills that isn't really work is it. with customers like that who needs enemies

Is your H's work something 'artistic'? (You don't need to give specific details). Because the arts world (by which I include writing, music, photography, design etc) is notorious for this sort of shit and trades on convincing suppliers that there are millions of other people who would be grateful to work for free, so think yourself lucky you were even offered money and don't you dare make a fuss if we take our time over paying it.

Also, some people who work in the arts think that domestic work and/or getting any other kind of work in the lean times is beneath them, which might explain why he is contributing nothing else to the household

Someone else has said it, but are you SURE there isn't more to it? That they aren't refusing to pay on other grounds e.g. Non delivery of services etc?

Because if your DH has run a business for a while, his behaviour is very odd. All self employed people know you invoice big jobs in stages, with payment terms, and enforce those when they refuse to pay or don't pay promptly. That "reputation" can't be damaged by insisting on being paid for your services and that companies who delay outrageously on invoices have serious cash flow issues and you're not getting more work from them if they go down...

So - to be at the stage you might sell your house rings HUGE alarm bells...

@nosquirrels depends on the industry. Like user says, there's a big culture difference and also you may get caught out by usually dealing on trust/ personal connections. My oh has been self employed for a decade and is not great at doing his credit control.