Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want family pet around newborn?

73 replies

Sangriasally86 · 12/07/2017 21:37

My parents have a dog who is incredibly boisterous and uncontrollable. He's about 6 years old, and has bitten both my mum and dad in the past (a couple of times so severely that they've had to go to a&e and have stitches). AIBU in not wanting the dog anywhere near my newborn when he's born? It will make it very difficult to be able to see my parents at their house, but they can always come to me. I would just rather put the safety of my defenceless child first rather than the convenience of going round there and risking the dog being in the same room. My parents are both quite upset by this as they can't see what the problem is, and have said that they will make sure that the dog goes nowhere near the baby, but the dog is incredibly strong and if he was intent on getting to my baby I think he would be able to. Am I right to refuse to have the baby in the same room as the dog or am I overreacting?

Worth mentioning also that DH hates dogs and is also not wanting the baby near a dog at all.

OP posts:
CherieBabySpliffUp · 12/07/2017 21:39

YANBU I think in your position I would be insisting the dog is in another room behind a closed door. The consequences don't bear thinking about

NellieFiveBellies · 12/07/2017 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anchor9 · 12/07/2017 21:42

i wouldn't worry too much about newborn (well, i would be a bit twitchy but it's tolerable) as they aren't going to be anywhere alone... i would worry about when the baby is a bit more mobile, crawling, toddling, grabbing things etc...

Heartofglass12345 · 12/07/2017 21:46

You are being completely reasonable! My mum had 2 dogs when my first son was born 4 years ago and she now has 4. She would let them in the living room to sniff him so they knew he was there but that was it. She keeps them behind a baby gate in the kitchen. Even now, my son likes them but from a distance. I would just say you wont go there unless he is kept away and introduced slowly.

Original poster
Sangriasally86 · 12/07/2017 21:47

I know perhaps I'm being a bit overprotective but surely that's preferable to the alternative? So many awful stories in the news these days about babies and children being mauled by dogs and I just don't feel comfortable knowing there's a chance (regardless of how tiny) that this could happen to my baby.

OP posts:
toolonglurking · 12/07/2017 21:49

I'm a dog owner and I think you are being entirely sensible.
It will be more difficult as your child gets older and more mobile, but if I were in your position I'd keep the little one away from the dog at all costs.

InDubiousBattle · 12/07/2017 21:52

YANBU small children and dogs shouldn't be together. The dog sounds out of control and I wouldn't let it anywhere near my kids.

villainousbroodmare · 12/07/2017 21:52

DH's parents haven't seen DS for a year because of their untrustworthy dogs. Sad for them.

Strokethefurrywall · 12/07/2017 21:52

Errr no, you're not being overprotective. And I say that as an owner of 2 80lb+ dogs, and 2 young children.

Your parents have to be fucking idiots of the highest order to not understand why their daughter wouldn't want her brand new baby around a dog with previous history of biting and clearly is uncontrollable.

I would never visit them at their house as long as the dog was there, in all honesty. And I love dogs. But I hold no truck with "oh we'll just keep it in a back room" - if a dog bites and is uncontrollable it needs putting down.

I get that yes they can keep it in the garden, or an upstairs room, but if they can't see what's wrong in letting a dangerous dog go near a tiny baby, then I wouldn't trust them not to accidentally let the dog out, given they believe it's not a problem dog.

clairewilliams999 · 12/07/2017 21:52

it wouldn't be enough for me for the dog to be in another room with a shut door. A seconds lapse in concentration and your child could be killed or scarred for life. I wouldn't go there full stop and if they take offense more fool them for having an out of control animal in their home

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 12/07/2017 21:54

You are not over reacting at all. I wouldn't even want to be around a dog like that, let alone with a child.

MimiSunshine · 12/07/2017 21:55

Not unreasonable at all.

Just tell them they are welcome to visit you but dog had to stay at home. You don't need to visit their house at all for ages.
I wouldn't take the risk that the dog will stay behind closed doors and beside it's hardly fair on the dog which is what you tell them if they complain.

If they want to see the baby they come to you, if they insist you visit them you say no. It's not fair on the dog and you and DP would just be worrying the whole time not to mention bringing "everything" with you, much easier for you to stay home.

LumelaMme · 12/07/2017 21:55

I have dogs and I'm pretty tolerant of dogs in general, but YANBU: I would keep a confirmed biter well away from any child of mine.

Spudlet · 12/07/2017 21:55

I have a young toddler and a dog, and I wouldn't want the dog you're describing around a baby either. YANBU.

Glumglowworm · 12/07/2017 21:56

I love dogs. But you are being totally reasonable here! A big, boisterous, uncontrolled dog does not belong anywhere near a newborn! Or a bigger baby. Or a toddler. Or imo any child not big enough to not get knocked over.

thefutureisfemale · 12/07/2017 21:57

YANBU!

Italiangreyhound · 12/07/2017 22:01

YANBU, the dog is a danger and needs to be kept away from the baby, and from the child as he grows.

Your parents don't seem to understand this despite having been bitten by the dog, so I would be very worried about having the baby at their house.

Just be really clear, do not back down, they will need to make the effort to come to you.

Congratulations on your baby.

Italiangreyhound · 12/07/2017 22:01

he or she grows...

tissuesosoft · 12/07/2017 22:07

YANBU. Asked MIL to watch DD when she was 2 weeks old whilst I popped to the shops. She put in her in her bouncer next to their untrained dog they bought from Gumtree. That was bad enough but she then gave the (very good possessive) dog his dinner next to the bouncer. Thank god we are NC contact with her now.

tissuesosoft · 12/07/2017 22:07

*food possessive

Hidingtonothing · 12/07/2017 22:07

YADNBU OP and it's as much about your parents' attitude to your concerns as the dog itself. They should totally be able to see your point here and be wanting to reassure you but they sound far too relaxed about the potential for something to go horribly wrong.

Brittbugs80 · 12/07/2017 22:08

If the dogs have bitten, more than once, why have they not been put down? I thought they were?

My friends ex had a dog who used to bite. The dog but her ex as he went for their son, ex put his arm out and knocked the dog flying, the dog came back and bit him on the arm.

He went to hospital and told hospital staff it was a random dog with no owner in the park then had to take the dog to the vets because it fell funny when he pushed it away and told the Vet that the dog slipped down the stairs.

All to avoid the dog being destroyed.

Yanbu. I wouldn't want biting dogs round my child at any age.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 12/07/2017 22:13

I love dogs, I've had/got lots of dogs and I've done a lot of dog training, and I would not take my newborn there. And tbh it's not even because of how you've described the dog, it's because of their strange attitude that it's not a problem. If that's truly how they feel even after both having been bitten it's no wonder the poor dog has issues. Keep your baby safe.

Original poster
Sangriasally86 · 12/07/2017 22:15

The problem will get worse at Christmas and family gatherings, as my parents are the only ones with a house big enough to host the family so we tend to meet there several times a year. So my only option is to have to miss out on these gatherings in the foreseeable future. It's an incredibly strong dog and I feel that there's a good chance that it would be able to escape if it was shut away. And I know I'm probably being paranoid thinking it would go straight for the baby but I'm not comfortable taking that chance.

My dads argument is that we have a cat at home that could easily blind the baby with a scratch to the face, but I know my cats temperament (she's very scared of noise and is highly unlikely to go anywhere near the baby). But we will also be taking proper precautions and would NEVER leave the cat and baby alone.

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 12/07/2017 22:15

I've been in a similar situation and it was really hard. We did end up going over when the dog was still alive, but the only because the dog was at the other end of the house, behind two closed doors and a stairgate, and muzzled if he needed to be let out.
My child didn't stay with them ever, I only went round on family occasions and we were all incredibly vigilant.

It only worked because my parents were on side though and totally agreed with keeping the dog far far away. This dog had never actually bitten anybody either, but was aggressive towards the children.

In your situation, with your parents refusing to accept that it's a problem, and with a history like that, I wouldn't ever go over there with a child. You'd be incredibly irresponsible to even consider it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread