Why is it ok to be snotty to kids who win stuff on sports day, but not to those who 'win' academically??

[Baalam]

Dd won all five of her races at sports day - no surprise, she trains with a club and does park run. Came home in tears because her three friends refused to play with her in the afternoon and one of them told her her dad said dd was a 'show off'.

The kids who 'win' gold certificates at mathletics, or get the best SATS results, or are the strongest readers - noone has an issue there.

What is it about sports and sports day that brings out the worst in people??

I and am so glad that my dcs are at schools that are nothing like this!

Our primary rewards children for academic success, and for effort. For sport, music, but also friendship etc. We having a "Caring Cup", as well as a "Maths Cup" etc.

I think the difference is that the children are taught to celebrate each other's success from Reception. So, a child who is Grade 6 piano, or National level sport, or wins an academic prize reflects on the whole school, and they all feel part of it. They are competitive, but we don't seem to get the jealousy.

We've even had a former pupil who has become a national champion as an adult. The children still talk about him as one of their own classmates (even though he left the school before they were born).

Honestly, our Head is amazing.

At the independent primary mine went to the emphasis really was about the taking part. Nobody clocked who won anything and genuinely nobody cared. There were lots of obstacle courses, space hopper races and relays. The emphasis was just on fun and trying to get a few points for your house if you could. They all did one running race each. What impressed me most was how some faster children would actually hang back and run alongside a child who was struggling at the back to support them. This happened all the time. I'll never forget hearing the fastest boy in the school, telling DD that he was going to let her friend win the 200m because she had lost her dad the week before and was brave to even be running at all. Those kind of memories are better than any medals.

I'll never forget hearing the fastest boy in the school, telling DD that he was going to let her friend win the 200m because she had lost her dad the week before

That's amazing!

But being good at sport does seem to come with a requirement that you are exceptionally emotionally mature so you can 'temper' your physical ability. Academic prowess doesn't have this requirement, in fact the two cleverest children I know are not brilliant socially and people accept this as part of the package.

Op, the exact same thing happened to me in primary 7 (age 12) I won the girls sports champion and my 3 closest friends blanked me for days. I wasn't gloating or showing off at all. It took the shine off winning though.