To ask for positive experiences of third degree tears

[Magicmonster]

And any tips for recovery? I had my second baby yesterday and suffered a third degree tear. I made the mistake of googling third degree tears at 5am this morning and am worried about what the future has in store (as well as really wishing I had taken the elective c section on offer!)

Does anyone have any positive stories about recovery from third degree tears to make me feel a bit more..well...positive?

Ooh me! I was in pain for about 3/4 weeks after (couldnt take anything stronger than ibuprofen as breastfeeding) but have no long term problems.

My hospital did a follow up service 3 months after you have the baby where they check everything is healing ok and try to fix it if it isnt.
The Dr said I might end up with a 2nd degree tear but he's 95% certain it wouldnt be a 3rd degree tear again.

Congratulations on the baby!

Third degree survivor here!

Drink LOADS of water. Loads. And then drink some more. Everything is so much more dilute if you do that. Shower every time you poo and Keep. Taking. The Lactulose. Even when you think you don't need it. Keep taking it. And if you don't take this advice, then try standing up when you poo, straddling the toilet. Weird, I know but it's easier than sitting down.

Have a bath once a day for at least 16 minutes into which you put a few drops of lavender oil dissolved in two dessert spoons of milk.

If you haven't been already, ask to be referred for physio NOW so that you get an appt at about eight to ten weeks. They will ask you to squeeze their finger . But it's not the worst thing that can happen!! And if they think you need strengthening they will give you exercises to help.

Pelvic floor exercises are your friend...once you can do them again.

Don't walk or stand too much in the coming days. You don't say how old your bigger one is but try not to lift them. I had a small tear with my second and couldn't believe how much more quickly I recovered. I walked for about an hour on day 10 with my first, and could barely stand the following day.

But know this, it was five years ago and I am fine. I can jump, I can run half marathons, I can do high intensity aerobic classes and I can run around after the children.

Oh and don't look. By God don't look. Get the midwives to check you. But for the love of everything, don't look

Congratulations on number two and get better soon

I had one with my second. To be honest it was absolutely fine - had it repaired by a consultant under spinal and it gave me no bother.

In fact the episiotomy I had with my first was worse as the stitches got infected.

I have never looked down there though. In my mind it looks like the Ypres Salient!

This is one of those times when taking a photo to show how well it heals up would REALLY not be appropriate

I had a 3a tear thanks to DS1 being born with his arm draped casually over his fucking head. I then got given a spinal and wheeled off to surgery. The numbness was BLISS.

Anyhoo, I have to agree that the senna, fybogel and tonnes of water really helped. I have actually over-healed a bit, to the extent that I have some skin joins where I shouldn't but I only notice these in bed occasionally. I actually had more trouble with my mere 2nd degree tear after DS2 - those stitches got infected, which was only noticed when I started alternately shivering and sweating

Anyway, 6 years on and it's all good. Your body recovers!

Oh and CHRIST don't look, even if the fucking midwife encourages you to look and see what a neat job the surgeon did. Just don't the word cavern leapt to mind

I had a third degree tear 3.5 years ago with dc1 and apart from the initial pain and tenderness I haven't had any problems. I do know I was fortunate to have a good gynae surgeon sew me up afterwards. It all feels pretty much the same down there now. My wee comes out a bit more sprayed out (tmi?!) And I don't feel quite as sensitive while dtd but me and dh agree it's as tight as ever down there! I get some pain when pooing if it's a bit hard but nothing bad. Overall it hasn't been bad and I've had no major issues. Congratulations on your new baby and I hope recovery is speedy for you!!
(Just reread this and jeez, the things I will tell a stranger in the internet!! 😂)

One thing I would say is that getting back to normal is a long gradual process though. Do do your pelvic exercises, and when the time is right really try to work on your core and overall fitness, it all helps.

One thing I have forgotten from having a third degree tear was that the pooing was a bit stressful, mainly as I just had no push in me at all. So water, lactulose, warm drinks and if all else fails, (in the words of my DH) "manual evacuation" :-)

It does all eventually go pretty much back to normal.

I had one with #2! The first month was hard, keep up with your stool softeners etc, drink lots. Did you have much blood loss with it? That will make you feel poorly, so keep an eye on that.

Now, all is fine. That was 5 yrs ago and I have had no long term effects. Maybe a slight loss of sensation, and long term piles 😂 but all ok. Am due with #3 in Oct and considering my options now.

Congratulations on #2...you'll get there.

I had a one (almost a 4) and to be honest I never noticed! I took the pain killers offered and they gave me some things to soften my poo. I was in hospital for a couple of days as DS was ill but 4 days afterwards when I was released I went on a 1/2 mile walk and was fine. Had no problems since, did my pelvic floor exercises so we are all good there as well.
My friends say I am a freak! But I do heal quickly for some reason anyway. I read all the horror stories of tears and stitches and was which did worry me but I seem to have got away with it.

My tips are do your pelvic exercises, take everything offered and listen to your body with regards to how much you do and when.

So six messages OP all telling you to:

1. don't look
2. Do everything in your power to make pooing as painless as possible.

Just summarising in case Day One fog is making you miss the point.

LaContessa, yeah, DD1 also decided she wanted to announce her arrival with a wave but just got her hand as far as her ear. So that was nice.

I had one, it really never bothered me - I always assumed that was the least severe one until reading this thread....

I have a 3 week old who enjoyed being born with her fists bunched in front of her face thus giving me a 3rd degree tear.

I was stitched up in theatre with a spinal which I didn't like one bit actually. That was worse than birth in my opinion.

I was prescribed dihydracodeine for the pain and lactulose and fybogel for my bowel movements. I actually have never felt the need for the pain killers so downgraded to ibuprofen instead.

I passed urine fine so got the catheter out quickly. It took about 4 days to need a bowel movement. I soaked a maternity towel in cold witch hazel and held that against the stitches which going and it was fine. Also having your feet up on a a wee stool can help.

3 weeks on I am largely unaware of it. I can get a bit achy I suppose after a long day but nothing more.

Take the stool softeners religiously and drink lots of water.

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first delivery. Physio very important - I went in to see a womans physio once a fortnight for 6-7 months, watched my diet quite carefully for the first while (lots of good fibre didnt over do anything rich and likely to upset my stomach).
Healed fine.
I had DD 17 months after DS but had an elective c section after advice. I think I could probably have gone for a vaginal delivery if I had pushed it (pun intended!).

Thanks everyone. This is making me feel a bit better already!

I've had two. With my first and third children, who are now 14 and 6. No long term problems from the tears.

Another one with a superman/waving baby.

1. don't be scared to ask for more painkillers and more help to poo.
2. other than pain in the first few weeks I had no issues so don't panic yourself. In fact as it was my first I had no idea my recovery was worse than usual until I mentioned diclufenix (no idea how to spell it) to a friend and she told me she wasn't given any painkillers after!

Oh yes! I forgot that I have an invite for women's physio due at 6 weeks.

Genuinely, mine has been a bit of a non-event. I haven't given it much thought. Everyone will be different though and if yours causes you trouble so make sure you get the help you need.

My wee comes out a bit more sprayed out I have this! I have to pay attention to how I sit now!! I'd never put 2 and 2 together until now...

1big aren't they just delightful

passme I think I was on a bit of a high tbh. I lay there and chatted happily to the anaesthetist about my PhD topic and recent postdoctoral project. It was a nice break after all the boring pain!

I've had two, lucky me! The first was painful for a few weeks afterwards but I had a forceps delivery too and I think that made things worse. I healed well from it. The second was from a fast labour and was much less painful. I seem to be healing well. Both times I had follow up appointments with a gynaecologist to check how I was, and the first time I saw a physio as well.

Take painkillers regularly even if you think you don't need them.
Pelvic floor exercises are for life not just for the next few months!

Notonthestairs I had no physio at all, ever where are you based, please?

I had a third degree tear, had next to no pain just a bit of discomfort really and it healed up really well - which is good as I was given no information at the hospital so didn't start pelvic floor exercises again for a couple of months!

I was really worried because of all the horror stories you hear about, but I was fine.

I also enjoyed being stitched up under the spinal tap. I chatted happily to the nurses about the time my friends scrubs fell down on the way to surgery and she flashed everyone her guitar knickers! Sorry friend!

I think I love you all a tiny bit, thanks for making me feel better.

I also quite enjoyed being stitched up. They covered me in warm towels, made sure I was completely numb, played music of my choice and I think I even drifted off at one point!

I had a third degree tear after giving birth to my 9lb 7oz DD that was apparently stitched up very neatly and caused me very little pain during recovery. As it was my first birth I didn't know what pain was normal and at no point felt like I couldn't cope.

My mum and Grandma (ex nurse and midwife) said I was moving and recovering very well in the weeks afterwards and wouldn't have guessed that I had suffered a 3rd degree tear. The first poo after giving birth was something I was dreading however it wasn't half as bad as expected. Keep hydrated and if they give you anything to soften your poo take it as this will help. Having a wee was worse as it stung, I was advised to go for a wee In the shower to stop it stinging!

I found out later that I had a prolapse following my 3rd degree tear but it has not caused me any real problems so I am reluctant to get surgery to fix it. Sex is more or less the same as before and my DH has reassured me that he cannot notice any issues. I have not suffered any incontinence and can happily jump on a trampoline with no problems at all!

We started trying for another baby (and were successful) 3 months after the birth of my DD and there was no pain during sex. I opted for a C Section second time round as I was concerned about causing further damage. I regret not having another natural birth and in retrospect would have preferred to suffer another tear than have a c section/epidural.

Good luck with your recovery

I feel I should add this story here. My friend had the worst tear possible. Would be more than a 4 if such a thing existed. Due to an unknown (before this happened) genetic condition her baby actually made a completely new hole to exit- so it came through muscle and skin to the side of her vagina. It is so rare than only one other case has been documented and her surgeon wrote a paper on her complete with pictures. I have seen those pictures and believe me, it really was like a scene from Alien. But, 6 months later all is good, she looks almost back to normal and, although still having physio, everything seems to be going well.