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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for positive experiences of third degree tears

72 replies

Magicmonster · 11/07/2017 09:18

And any tips for recovery? I had my second baby yesterday and suffered a third degree tear. I made the mistake of googling third degree tears at 5am this morning and am worried about what the future has in store (as well as really wishing I had taken the elective c section on offer!)

Does anyone have any positive stories about recovery from third degree tears to make me feel a bit more..well...positive?

OP posts:

Bumpsadaisie · 11/07/2017 13:11

One final thought ...

If you start to feel really quite rubbish in a way that is beyond the tiredness and hormones (and the baby blues on day five ish) then do do do get your stitches checked out. If they get infected you will feel rubbish all round. I waited too long with my first (episiotomy) but with my second (3a) I knew the feeling and was on anti-biotics at the first sign of infection, that helped a lot.

Tea tree baths, lots of fresh air, scrupulously good hygiene etc. Basically walk around with a frock on and no knickers! And the moment you feel generally like something is not right (tired, achy) then off to the GP to get checked for infection.

cannaethink · 11/07/2017 13:51

I had a 3b tear with DS1, the tips you've got from pp are spot on! I was happy with how it had healed but I went for a smear about 7 months later and the nurse told me she absolutely wouldn't stand for that and I must go back to have it sorted! There were flappy bits apparently, anyway I went in for day surgery and they sorted it! No problems!
I opted for a vaginal birth with DS2 despite being offered a section as I felt I could reduce the chance of tearing again but a section would definitely leave me with a scar and a longer recovery time. I got away with a 2nd degree tear which was fine.

AsleepAtMyDesk · 11/07/2017 14:01

Another one who had a 3rd degree tear but had no long term problems at all.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 11/07/2017 14:04

Personally I preferred my c section recovery to natural birth with 3rd degree tear recovery. But that may be just me as I had a lovely planned c section experience and was a gibbering, anxious wreck after labour and tear because it was my first baby and I just felt overwhelmed.

HeyRoly · 11/07/2017 15:47

My experience was the same as yours Patronus. I was so traumatised by the tear (and awful, awful postnatal care) I was a wreck after DC1. The c section with DC2 was brilliant and the recovery was shorter.

1bighappyfamily · 11/07/2017 15:52

because it was my first baby and I just felt overwhelmed

Ah Patronus I had exactly the same thing and it's a really important point to note. The physical care I received after my tear was fine but no-one ever acknowledged it and while I'm fine now, it wasn't nice, and being in theatre to be stitched and away for DD wasn't nice. And I delivered her on gas & air but ended up with a spinal anyway, and that wasn't nice.

Do look after your head as well as your bits OP.

LaContessaDiPlump · 11/07/2017 15:57

My mother always said the ELCS was her favourite out of 3 births because of how lovely, calm and predictable it was! I used to think she was just odd but now I've had my own kids I COMPLETELY get it

BendydickCuminsnatch · 11/07/2017 16:00

I had a 3c tear (and an episiotomy) 2 years ago, and I feel like I've mended pretty well. I think my main issues were:

moved house at 7 weeks post partum so didn't get my 8/12 week check up so only started physio about 4 months post partum (fecal urgency, physio definitely helped) - so make sure you get that appointment through!
because of the physio I wasn't allowed to exercise for a year and that caused my recovery to lag overall. I was up and about walking round Sainsburys etc as soon as out of hospital (day 2) but exercise wise I did nothing really for a year. I think if I'd have exercised I would have recovered a lot better - year 2 I've made big improvements - but do NOT exercise if you're advised not to!

But, I think the main reason for my incontinence was due to the force from forceps (and 40 min labour), rather than the tear itself - don't want to worry you!

I'm pregnant again now and no issues really, except I can't do spinning class! Having an elective c section though So really good to hear this "Personally I preferred my c section recovery to natural birth with 3rd degree tear recovery."

JudyBlumeForever · 11/07/2017 16:01

I had a 3 tear with my first, huge baby with her head coming out at the wrong angle (face first), it was stitched up and healed fine. Did my pelvic floor exercises. The first poo was scary but wasn't too bad. I was told to drink lots of water. I seem to have a vague recollection of pouring a jug of lukewarm water down there whilst weeing to help take the sting out of it. Midwife checked the stitches around day 4 I think...

My second birth left me with just a first degree tear and some grazing.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 11/07/2017 16:02

P.S. I was recommended the postnatal recovery workout MuTu by some mumsnetters - specifically for recovering pelvic floor and abs, so far it seems to be effective!

HippyChickMama · 11/07/2017 16:26

3c tear nearly 4 years ago. I remember bursting into tears because I wet myself with no warning about 2 days postpartum, no long term continence issues though. The only issue I have is that I now have to use a lubricant during sex as I suffer from dryness. As for recovery, the best tip I can offer is, pads soaked in Witch Hazel. Put them in sandwich bags and store them in the freezer. Amazing relief from the itching and stinging.

ItsGone · 11/07/2017 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notonthestairs · 12/07/2017 11:37

Sorry LaComtessa - missed your question I had physio at UCH in London. Women's physio gave me a gadget to insert and squeeze a few times a day and the bimonthly visits were for some kind of infrared/heat treatment. This was a decade ago though so I'd hope they'd have come up something else since then!

savagehk · 12/07/2017 11:43

Me. Was discharged with pretty potent painkillers and laxatives. Stopped taking painkillers after a few days as I thought they were making baby sleepy (they weren't).
It was a bit tender for a few weeks. I used the earth mama angel baby bottom spray and"intimate wipes" from natracare instead of loo roll for a week or two.
The laxatives made the first poo both unavoidable (lactulose) and easy (isphagulla/psyllium husk - active ingredient in fybogel).
Completely fine by my 6 week check.
I had a referral to the special tears unit at my hospital (standard procedure) but had no issues at all by then.

MrsR31 · 12/07/2017 11:50

I've had two 3rd degree tears. Youngest is now 3 and oldest is 5, no real issues since, DH assures me that everything is still fine and sex is fine. I had a wee bit of discomfort initially during sex but this went away, granular tissue or something. Get checked by the physio and try to do your pelvic floor exercises. Congratulations on your new baby, enjoy x

savagehk · 12/07/2017 11:57

I've just had my second baby fwiw - 2nd degree tear with her and only because her hand was by her head.
First baby was rotational forceps in theatre with episiotomy - he didn't turn anyway and I had a 3rd degree tear in addition to the episiotomy. While being sewn up doctor told me he was using a running stitch and this probably wouldn't happen next time. And then that I probably wasn't thinking about that just yet!

thepandasayshello · 12/07/2017 11:58

I had a 3rd degree tear, was surgically repaired immediately. Recovery was so fast. Had physio 6 wks after for 10 weeks, kept it up since (pelvic floor exercises ARE for life). Amazed at how quickly it healed. Hope you will be fine too :)

CuppaSarah · 12/07/2017 12:13

Very bad and large 2nd degree tear that was very nearly 3rd. I was very unwell and stuck still in bed for 24 hours after birth and stuck barely moving for a week and off my feet for another week. I healed very quickly and very well I think because I was unable to move much it let the area heal.

Only getting up for a wee isn't the most practical but it was essential for me. If you can, take it easy. Lots of rest, let your body heal.

CuppaSarah · 12/07/2017 12:15

Oh and as gross as it sounds once the lochea isn't so bad sleeping with nothing on your bottom half on a few towels is really refreshing and soothing.

CuppaSarah · 12/07/2017 12:16

One more thing I promise. I wasn't unwell because of the tear that was unrelated!

Flopjustwantscoffee · 12/07/2017 12:39

"Oh and as gross as it sounds once the lochea isn't so bad sleeping with nothing on your bottom half on a few towels is really refreshing and soothing."

Also very helpful in terms of allowing the wound to heal faster as it allows the air to get to it. This sounds really weird but you can buy packs of disposable baby changing mats. When the baby sleeps during the day pop one down on the lower part of your bed (to protect it against Lochia) and then lie down on it for a nap (although I will say I was in a country with much better post natal care, so it was much easier for me to "sleep when the baby's sleeping")

Flopjustwantscoffee · 12/07/2017 12:41

And contrary to others I was advised to sit on firm surfaces rather than cushions as this would promote healing better, (winces at memory) but as I say I was in a different country and they have a very weird attitude towards pain there.

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