or is DH about me squeezing milk out of my breast?

[themagicmoneytrees]

DS (1yo) is losing interest in BF-ing and we're down to one a day, if that. I am starting to get some soreness in my breasts now he is skipping some feeds. I feel sad about him stopping, but not much I can do if that's what he wants. He prefers the faster flow of bottles (I can't use a pump, but that's a different story.)

I fed him just now on the sofa because my breasts were sore, and afterwards was hand expressing a little bit and grumbling to DH about how DS is stopping and I'm sad. I then squirted a stream of milk out of one breast to show DS the flow (sometimes when he sees this he latches back on) and DH jumped up from the sofa and screamed loudly. Why did you do that? What the hell is wrong with you? You're so weird (as in you have a personality problem.)

I said I am just expressing, I didn't mean it to be as forceful as that.

He said "people don't do that" (squirt milk across a room) Well no they don't, but I didn't intend it to be that much. He made me feel like a pariah. He said he found it very squeamish and shocking.

I have BF two DC all in full view of DH before, so don't really understand why he can't stand this aspect of it.

I said your reaction is very hurtful, it was a mistake and I am having problems here because I am in pain and I am also sad that DS is stopping.

He told me that I was projecting my sadness on to him and that it is nothing to do with him. And that he just cannot understand the concept of why I would choose to squirt it across the room instead of express it properly.

He wants me to forget about it now but I feel upset. AIBU?

Tofutti, have you breastfed to the age of one? Are you a breastfeeding counsellor, peer supporter or lactation consultant? If not, you should probably wind your neck in telling the OP how to manage her bf relationship with her son as you know buggerall about it. Natural self-weaning rarely happens before 18 months absent a mothers decision to wean or other motivating factors. Babies go through phases of breast refusal for various reasons, and peaks and troughs in feeding, which are perfectly normal but can be uncomfortable for the mother as her supply adjusts. The OP is doing exactly the right thing by continuing to offer the breast, and hand expressing for her own comfort and to avoid mastitis which can make her seriously ill if untreated. How dare you (or indeed her husband if you are correct in your wild surmise) dictate to her when she must stop bf her son?

I got really good with my aim when I was breastfeeding, I could quite consistently hit dh in the eye. It was one of the best times of my life.

I used to be able to pebbledash the far wall when I was bf. I'd practise. Happy days.

Ok it was an over reaction to the accidental squirt but the ones doing it on purpose - that's disgusting!

What do you find disgusting about it Ginger LDN?

OP, you are completely UNREASONABLE.

You should have squirted your idiot Husband in the eye

[I should go make a cuppa]

I never had the 'squirting skills' you lot have, but if I did squirt some milk nearby (usually because DC popped off the nipple), DH would shout '2 points' then get a damp paper towel and wipe it up for me.

I think your oh is being very unreasonable. My almost 1 yr old has an eye infection and I've been using bm to treat it. I've been hand expressing to do it. Yesterday I was expressing into a cup. My two year old was very intrigued as she stopped nursing at 7 months. I laughed that much at her reaction I missed the cup, squirted myself and dropped the cup. My other half laughed at me for a good few minutes, threw me a cloth and said it might be easier if he entertained the two year old.
I'm kind of jealous that your little one is dropping feeds though. Mine is teething and with the irritability of the eye infection is feeding like a newborn. Tell your oh to wind his neck in our you'll squirt him 😂

😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣MummyIsAFreeElf

I just think your bodily fluids should be kept to yourself Radio. There are obviously exceptions at different times but using them as water pistols

I never squirted or leaked. I never had loads of spare milk like some women and wasn't able to donate milk etc. Fed dd to 2.5 so bf for a prolonged period. I'm jealous of all these squirting boobs. On the upside, I never got engorged. Your dh was a dick. Tell him not to squirt his sperm the next time you give him a bj and don't want to "swallow". Milk is just milk and something to be revered as it is to nourish your child.

I'm guessing OP didn't have time to clear it up because her DH started yelling at her.

He sounds an old fashioned twat and needs to get with the times.

I BFd both DC for a year + each, and accidentally squirted from time to time.

I actually felt a bit queasy reading your OP, which I know makes me beyond irrationale and unreasonable. It's just a 'other people's bodily fluids' thing, I guess.

Your DH completely over-reacted, though. What else is going on?

Tell him you will forget it when he stops ejaculating. It's a bodily function, this is what boobs are for (producing milk not seeing who can squeeze furthest contests).

Maybe he has a lactation kink?

You could ask him. It could open up a whole new level of connection between the two of you, and ease your sore boobs whilst you are at it.

I have never been lactating, so cannot really comment from that side of things.

Your dh over reacted and was also not kind at all about your fears that your bf days are drawing to a close.

I'm sorry he was so nasty about it. Could he be jealous of the bf relationship you and your dc have?

And see any attempt to continue it as his own desires being thwarted?

In the manner of an unkind spoilt little brat. Ugh.

Your dh needs to grow up! His reaction sounds bizarre. I agree with the poster who said he should be thanking you for breastfeeding and no doubt saving you both many hours preparing bottles day and night. And to those posters talking about cleaning it up my my god breastfeeding can be challenging / tiring enough without having to put down a (often very hungry) baby mid feed to go and find some cleaning materials to clean up a fine spray of milk that would be nigh on impossible to locate. OP you are not being unreasonable at all!

Also agree with the poster above who suggests that there may be deeper issues at play which have prompted his odd reaction though if he won't talk about it could be difficult to find out.

Don't let him get to you! Stand up for yoyrself

Nope, not unreasonable. I was like a leaky tap with all three of mine and it regularly went everywhere. One particularly interesting occasion was when being intimate with (now) exdh and spraying everywhere at the point of erm...climax!!!!!! He was totally weirded out. I just laughed!! He didn't scream at me though!!!!

Ffs one of my childhood memories when my younger sibling was still feeding is my mother getting up out of bed in the morning and standing next to the bed stretching her arms up in a sleepy Iv just woken up sort of way and the pressure made both breasts shout out two streams of milk across the room at the same time! It was as funny as it is a natural part of life

No one made her feel like a freak because her body did a natural if quite funny thing!

I'm not a man, but I'd be pretty unhappy at that. There's nothing wrong with BF-ing but squirting milk intentionally across the room is quite another matter. It's not about the BF aspect...it's just that no liquid, bodily or otherwise, should be spilled deliberately. It's disrespectful to anyone else trying to use the space.

Wrenkia did you miss the bit where she says she did not mean it to go across the room so it was not intentional

My there are some prissy people around.