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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or is DH about me squeezing milk out of my breast?

82 replies

themagicmoneytrees · 10/07/2017 16:09

DS (1yo) is losing interest in BF-ing and we're down to one a day, if that. I am starting to get some soreness in my breasts now he is skipping some feeds. I feel sad about him stopping, but not much I can do if that's what he wants. He prefers the faster flow of bottles (I can't use a pump, but that's a different story.)

I fed him just now on the sofa because my breasts were sore, and afterwards was hand expressing a little bit and grumbling to DH about how DS is stopping and I'm sad. I then squirted a stream of milk out of one breast to show DS the flow (sometimes when he sees this he latches back on) and DH jumped up from the sofa and screamed loudly. Why did you do that? What the hell is wrong with you? You're so weird (as in you have a personality problem.)

I said I am just expressing, I didn't mean it to be as forceful as that.

He said "people don't do that" (squirt milk across a room) Well no they don't, but I didn't intend it to be that much. He made me feel like a pariah. He said he found it very squeamish and shocking.

I have BF two DC all in full view of DH before, so don't really understand why he can't stand this aspect of it.

I said your reaction is very hurtful, it was a mistake and I am having problems here because I am in pain and I am also sad that DS is stopping.

He told me that I was projecting my sadness on to him and that it is nothing to do with him. And that he just cannot understand the concept of why I would choose to squirt it across the room instead of express it properly.

He wants me to forget about it now but I feel upset. AIBU?

OP posts:

ShelaghTurner · 10/07/2017 16:43

People here really do like to make up the missing facts don't they? The op has said it was an accident and you have absolutely no idea who cleaned it up and when. But don't let that stop you.

PoorYorick · 10/07/2017 16:44

You purposely squirted milk across the room and didn't clean it up immediately. I bet you do this a lot and your DH's reaction might have been more of a straw that broke the camel's back.

InvisableLobstee · 10/07/2017 16:46

He sounds horrible, he screams at you because you made a slight mistake? And he doesn't care you are in pain and upset.
For those of you who are saying they would have the same reaction as the Dh I am a bit surprised. What if you were feeding your dc some food or drink and you slipped and spilled some? Would it be fine to scream at you?

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 16:46

Christ alive, OP accidentally sent a shot of milk across the room and got screeched at.

Sometimes when my babies popped off Mid-drink, I'd spray too, luckily my husband isn't a knob about it & would just laugh.

And yes, I'd clean it up

lelapaletute · 10/07/2017 16:48

He's being a colossal baby. Remind him how disgusting squirting bodily fluids are next time he wants to have sex with you. If my other half isn't made me feel shitty about my breastfeeding body like that I'd give his fucking head a wobble.

Choccyhobnob · 10/07/2017 16:54

FFS I squirt DS in the face on purpose all the time as he thinks it's hilarious. DH is a bit squeamish about it so I tend not to do it in front of him but he wouldn't react like that. I'd threaten to squirt him from the other sofa if he did!

And as for everyone saying "clean it up or it will smell". How much do you think is actually being squirted out?! A stream is about as fine as a hair's breadth from each duct, you can't even see where it's gone if it's on the carpet, maybe a tiny fine spray you could see on a hard surface so I would wipe up but on the carpet (which gets drink spilled on a weed on fairly often), don't be daft.

GreenHillsOfHome · 10/07/2017 16:56

I don't think the op meant to just squeeze out a stream of milk in mid air or across the room.

I often squeeze a bit of milk out to rub on ds's lips to get him to latch again. A few times I've misjudged and squeezed too much and he's had a face full or I've squirted it all over his hair...dh has seen this and thought it was funny.

Your dh is being ur...as long as you're not actually just standing in the middle of a room and squirting it about in mid air that is

Carouselfish · 10/07/2017 16:56

Tell him to grow the fuck up. He's 'projecting' sexual imagery onto something that isn't at all and it's melted his little diodes.

caffeineanddryshampoo · 10/07/2017 16:59

I'd be impressed with your squirting milk skills. Your OH needs to get a life.

ginflumpsandzebraprint · 10/07/2017 17:06

I used to express first as otherwise I'd drown dd1&dd2. On the odd childish occasion when dh squirted a water pistol at me I may have fired both barrels whilst chasing him around the room
It's a bit of milk, no use crying over it.

BottleBeach · 10/07/2017 17:07

I had blocked ducts for a while when I started breastfeeding. Once I was sitting in the living room and manage to unblock one of them and started spraying uncontrollably across the room. We were both falling about laughing, while I faffed for a muslin to try and stem the flow and DH ran to grab a cup to catch it in, shouting 'don't waste it!!!' Good times.

OP- YANBU

regrouted · 10/07/2017 17:13

You did a completely normal thing, done by mothers since the dawn of time, with an unexpected projectile force that again, have surprised mothers since the dawn of time. It's perhaps only in more recent times that it's gone across a carpet or laminate floor.

He has made you feel ashamed about this completely normal thing, that should only be met with a giggle from you both and "let me get some kitchen towel for you, darling".

PurpleSmartie · 10/07/2017 17:16

YANBU - I managed to squirt DH right in the face/the eye on one of the rare times we managed to have a bit of fun together after my youngest DD was born. It resulted in him laughing his head off. We woke the baby up laughing so that was the end of that.

CheeseOfHearts · 10/07/2017 17:19

Did this in a Costa once. Dd got distracted looking around at people and popped off suddenly. Big squirt over the table! People managed to restrain themselves from screaming however.

chips4teaplease · 10/07/2017 17:21

Your DH is immature.

So am I.
When I was breastfeeding I used my breasts as 'milk pistols' (similar idea to water pistols but more convenient). I could shoot my husband from a distance of fifteen feet or more, across the family room, and get him in the face with a lovely spray of warm white droplets.

StrangeLookingParasite · 10/07/2017 17:29

Good lord some of you people are like bloody fountains! Am quite envious, as I had next to nothing, even doing everything I could to increase supply.
I've also laughed like a drain at these stories, especially hitting the ceiling.

He's (your husband) being ridiculous.

BuzzKillington · 10/07/2017 17:30

As soon as I got my boob out, it would be squirting milk - I'd have to get the baby latched on at lightning speed.

It's a bit odd to squirt it on purpose tbh. Do you clean it up?

BeepBeepMOVE · 10/07/2017 17:41

I think it's weird to squirt milk across your living room and not apologise before immediate cleaning it up.

NotYoda · 10/07/2017 17:43

I think it's weird to make up stuff and then respond to that in your post

Ohyesiam · 10/07/2017 17:50

Can't air believe how prissy some people are.

Ohyesiam · 10/07/2017 17:51

Quite, not air....

PetalHead · 10/07/2017 17:59

God yes I had the same problem - they were like a non-stop dripping tap and would squirt under any pressure. Once I was BFing on a banch outside Sainsbury's and DS unexpectedly unlatched and it squirted on the poor old lady sat next to me! I couldn't stop apologising but she just smiled wistfully :)

OP your DH knows nothing about what it's like to have engorged breasts does he. I think the same as some PPs, it's his discomfort with the whole thing bursting out.

He said "people don't do that" (squirt milk across a room)

They clearly often do as he would know if he read up about it, or read this thread. And you don't have to forget about it, you can be upset.

silkpyjamasallday · 10/07/2017 18:13

Your DH is a twat. You were using a tried and tested method to get your DS to feed and ease your discomfort, not doing something shocking or deviant. He should be incredibly thankful that you were willing to nourish your child for a year with your milk, no doubt saving him hours and hours of sterilising and making up bottles.

And it isn't weird at all to do this, I get dd to latch if she is getting distracted by squirting milk into her mouth, whether on purpose or it just happens without me doing anything. It's happened in public more times than I can count, the stream is so fine it isn't noticeable unless you are very close up, and not enough comes out before I can stop it to make any fabric/carpet smell of sour milk. And I would challenge anyone to be able to find the offending escaped milk to be able to clean it up. This ridiculous attitude of shaming a totally natural bodily function is why breastfeeding rates in this country are so dire.

DeleteOrDecay · 10/07/2017 18:18

Your DH is bu. I bf both dc and I accidentally squirted milk across the room more than once during feeds My DP just found it amusing.

Even if he was a little bit grossed it by it he should have just kept quiet and forgotten about it. Bloody weird of him to make such a huge thing of it.

Tofutti · 10/07/2017 18:33

Just leave DS be, it sounds like he's through with BF.

Maybe your DH was annoyed that you won't let it go?

Regardless, he is BU for being shocked that boobs have milk.

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