AIBU to inform school about naughty PTA mums?

[mrsamerican]

I unfortunately opened a kettle of fish. Our PTA does tea and biscuits for new reception parents on transfer day. The school very intentionally doesn't inform parents what class their child moves into, and the head specifically asked us not to walk through school as we would find out our child's teacher in four hours at the end of the school day.

One mom, while "tidying up" found a master class spreadsheet with the full names, birthday, ethnic origin and SEN status of every child in the school. She then proceeds, with several other parents to inform everyone about which class their child is in, and they all start gossiping. I kept overhearing things like "Oh, I didn't realize so-and-so had an SEN plan. That explains a lot." It was awful, and had I been the parents of those kids, I would have been royally pissed.

I went home worrying about it, and decided that it really broke the data protection agreement we signed with school (our PTA members have to be DBS checked and everything). So, I called the deputy head and discussed it with him. He immediately wanted to know where the list was, and needed to find it as it could be all over the place at pick-up time.

My husband assures me that I did the right thing, but I totally got some looks at drop-off this morning, and as there were only a handful of parents there, they have to know it was me who snitched.

Did I do the right thing? Or is finding out your child's teacher really so important that you threaten the privacy of all the other children in the school we're supposed to be helping?

Absolutely the right thing. I would be fuming if I was a parent with a child with SEN and they were gossiping about it.

You totally did right thing. That it outrageous. The woman who found it should have handed it in without discussing it and kept what she'd seen to herself. If she or others challenged me (or were snidey, giving stupid looks etc) I'd tell her/them that too.

You definitely did the right thing. What were they thinking??!

The person who gossiped about the lair was a total arse. How fucking desperate and immature do you have to be to do something like that?

YWNBU to inform the school and anyone who is half worth having as a friend wouldn't give it a second thought. Chin up and don't mistake people's affect as suspicious or condemning if you until they have explicitly stated as such.

Good for you bunch of gossips how dare they look at and hand out personal information like this. Some pta members love to be in the know and feel over involved and important, you did the right thing however they may resort to school kid tactics and victimise you as a tell tale pfft ignore them.

Xyou were right, school at fault if list left lying around. Find it nasty behaviour of parents. Have yet to hear gossip about x who's average or great. Its always sen, poor performers, badly behaved kids etc who are gossiped about.

I'd stay on pta and I'd get incident on agenda, but I'm not bothered about what other parents think.

100% the right thing. My DS is on a SEN agreement and I'd have been horrified if other parents were gossiping like that.

Head held high.

Actually re reading it, quite likely list was looked for rather than found.

Absolutely the right thing. What a Horrible thing to do to crow over SEN plans. I'd be fuming!

Bloody hell OP you are brave.

You absolutely did the right thing!! What the hell was the PTA mum thinking? I hope that there are consequences for her (not in a nasty way, but because it seems fair to me.) If her role was a paid job, she would be disciplined very severely for this. I can't believe she's discussing confidential information like that.

Tbh I think most people know who has sen it's unlikely to be genuine news.

You did the right thing

Tbh I think most people know who has sen it's unlikely to be genuine news.

You did the right thing

When i was on the pta a million years ago somebody gossiped about mydc as they were in a sen Maths group not that i had kept it a secret but PTA woman was in school on "important pta matters" and saw Dd in a work area apparently dd didn't look SPECIAL anyway i challenged her at next PTA meeting and she and her friends never spoke to me again.

I agree, SleepFreeZone

I agree with you.

I hope the head is going to read those parents the riot act.

Why on earth was the list available to be found?

Why on earth was the list available to be found? this is also a really good point.

Of course class list was looked for teachers don't usually leave lists lying about PTA twat was needing to feel important to new parents pathetic behaviour

My ds once brought home before parents evening a list of appointments along with comments of specific items fir discussion for each child, he obv picked it up by mistake. As ot was printed i assumed the teacher had another copy so threw it in the bin. Wouldn't dreamt of discussing it, in fact once i realised what it was i stopped reading as non of my business. You did right OP

You absolutely did the right thing. What a bunch of morons. How was this highly confidential form left lying about though? Surely it should have been in an office filing cabinet or folder, not on a desk?

Of course you did the right thing. I agree they should be removed from the PTA.

People don't necessarily know who has SEN. I was a school governor and I knew how many children in DS's class had SEN from the data we were given, I didn't know who they were though.

Of course yanbu

The school need to review their process to how the info was lying around.

The people who found it should've handed it straight to a member of school staff and not looking at it beyond realising it's confidential and needs handing in, and certainly not gossipped about anything in it!