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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to inform school about naughty PTA mums?

144 replies

mrsamerican · 10/07/2017 11:08

I unfortunately opened a kettle of fish. Our PTA does tea and biscuits for new reception parents on transfer day. The school very intentionally doesn't inform parents what class their child moves into, and the head specifically asked us not to walk through school as we would find out our child's teacher in four hours at the end of the school day.

One mom, while "tidying up" found a master class spreadsheet with the full names, birthday, ethnic origin and SEN status of every child in the school. She then proceeds, with several other parents to inform everyone about which class their child is in, and they all start gossiping. I kept overhearing things like "Oh, I didn't realize so-and-so had an SEN plan. That explains a lot." It was awful, and had I been the parents of those kids, I would have been royally pissed.

I went home worrying about it, and decided that it really broke the data protection agreement we signed with school (our PTA members have to be DBS checked and everything). So, I called the deputy head and discussed it with him. He immediately wanted to know where the list was, and needed to find it as it could be all over the place at pick-up time.

My husband assures me that I did the right thing, but I totally got some looks at drop-off this morning, and as there were only a handful of parents there, they have to know it was me who snitched.

Did I do the right thing? Or is finding out your child's teacher really so important that you threaten the privacy of all the other children in the school we're supposed to be helping?

OP posts:
MarklahMarklah · 10/07/2017 11:51

We just did a 'meet and greet' for new starters (Sept) where parents and children could come in. Invites were issued by the school, and each class/form had their own time slot. Any paperwork was held by the teachers. We were there to provide tea, coffee, biscuits and chat.

You definitely did the right thing.

Some serious data protection breaches that need to be resolved very quickly. This is the sort of thing I'd expect to see escalated to the board of governors as the school need to immediately rectify their policy on how the data is held, circulated etc.

DD's school do a similar thing whereby children are not informed of their class placements until the very end of term. I'm a school governor and on the PTA and I've had a few people sidle up to me and ask if I knew when we'd know. I said that it was nothing to do with the PTA and as a governor I'd only know if there was a change to policy.

weasledee · 10/07/2017 11:51

You so did the right thing, well done! Awful people gossiping about the SEN children, quite upsetting really...

alphajuliet123 · 10/07/2017 11:52

Urgh. PTA. I did it for a year and hated it, I''d even say a couple of good friendships were spoilt over it.

You 100% did the right thing. Go and watch Bad Moms and your PTA won't seem so bad!

Isadora2007 · 10/07/2017 11:53

The school is really at fault here for not storing their data safely- first breach of data protection. Then the member who found it should also be held to account to explain why- on finding said document- she didn't immediately hand it in.
You totally did the right thing OP.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/07/2017 12:00

You definitely did the correct thing. So what if they're giving you dirty looks like 12 year old little girls. They're not that important are they.
Gossiping about children struggling.
They're warped. Are their kids alright, Jack.
Another thing I want to know is. Why was this sheet not locked away. In The HT office.
If I was the HT. I'd get rid of those PTA members with immediate effect and send out letters to the parents of the SEN children informing them of whats happened and apologizing on their behalf, If someone was mocking my child. I damn well want to know.

kemptownlady · 10/07/2017 12:01

That's a terrible breach of confidentiality. The school should be reported to the Information Commissioners Office for breaching the data protection act as well - some of that information will be personal sensitive data. You absolutely did the right thing.

Hudson10 · 10/07/2017 12:03

One mom, while "tidying up" found a master class spreadsheet with the full names, birthday, ethnic origin and SEN status of every child in the school. She then proceeds, with several other parents to inform everyone about which class their child is in, and they all start gossiping. I kept overhearing things like "Oh, I didn't realize so-and-so had an SEN plan. That explains a lot.

Shock Jeez. You absolutely did the right thing, that's a disgusting breach of data protection! They don't know it's you. You've done nothing wrong anyway, they have.
Doubledottvremote · 10/07/2017 12:05

Yanbu

drspouse · 10/07/2017 12:09

Was this a paper or computer file?
If paper, the only place it should be unless a member of staff is actually using it is in a filing cabinet or office, locked.
If computer file, why the jeff wasn't it password protected?
Shocking data protection breach and potentially illegal action by the parents in question (slander anyone?)

Aeroflotgirl · 10/07/2017 12:10

I am Sad about the kids with SN being maliciously and snidely gossiped about. My ds 5 has SN and I would hate for him to be laughed at and be the object of gossip. Ok for the parents of kids who are alright Jack.

honeysucklejasmine · 10/07/2017 12:11

drspouse the sad fact is, there really aren't the facilities in all schools for that. I have never had a lockable drawer or cabinet or indeed office in which to keep such things. I would leave them laying around, but equally I couldn't lock them away.

Starlight2345 · 10/07/2017 12:12

I have a child with a SEN...Not all parents are aware nor is it any of there business.

I would want the PTA woman banned from the classroom. I would also want to know how she was able to get hold of the list.

I have been a parent helper in a classroom left to tidy...I did not look though any paperwork, If I had found something printed or with teachers writing on it would of gone on her desk.

frieda909 · 10/07/2017 12:15

That's awful and you did absolutely the right thing.

I once had a colleague brag to me about how he'd accidentally been sent a document by HR containing the entire company's salaries. He had clearly spent hours poring over it and went on and on about how so-and-so earns more/less than so-and-so.

I never reported him and to this day I feel so cross with myself!

Lolimax · 10/07/2017 12:15

You absolutely did the right thing. I also think the Information Controller for the organisation (possibly the Local Authority?) needs to be informed.

5achel · 10/07/2017 12:16

Oh gawd this really worries me Sad

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/07/2017 12:16

Sadly though, Starlight. As you seen. Not everyone is a trust worthy as you are.

BlackeyedSusan · 10/07/2017 12:17

I know some of the children with sen in the dc's school. some are obvious, some turn up for appointemnts with the teacher in the same week, some we discuss in the playground, sen parent to sen parent only.

You tend to learn which ones if you have one yourself, but I have no idea who is isn't apart form those whose parents have been open about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/07/2017 12:24

Some adults have never left childhood, and are still acting like children, without any thought or consideration, that is unacceptable.

ClarkWGriswold · 10/07/2017 12:25

You absolutely did the right thing OP.

If I was a parent of one of the children with SEN I would be bloody fuming at having my child discussed by a bunch of cackling witches. In fact I'd probably be contacting the ICO to investigate how one of the fucking PTA managed to get their hands on such a list.

JigglyTuff · 10/07/2017 12:26

The woman who found the list should be barred from the school. That's despicable behaviour.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 10/07/2017 12:27

I'm another parent to a SEN child. Unless you spent a vast amount of time with you wouldn't notice. Tbh if this happened at our school with my son or with other peoples children I would want heads to roll.
The information shouldn't be out there for this person to see and then they shouldn't feel it is their duty to spread it.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 10/07/2017 12:28

Also with my DS I have enough things to put with already, with doctors and school appointments, without having to put up with this on top.

MrsPeacockDidIt · 10/07/2017 12:29

As Chair of our PTA I would outraged if any of our committee had done anything other than bring to the schools attention that confidential data had been left out.

You absolutely did the right thing OP

drspouse · 10/07/2017 12:29

honeysuckle - lockable filing cabinets are about £10 on Ebay, and I've seen them on Freecycle, as nobody really keeps as many paper records these days. A small two drawer filing cabinet with the key on the teacher's key chain would make a handy cup of coffee/register/lost book bag stand.

If it was a whole school record surely it should be in the office? And class records only in the classrooms? With the occasional sight of next year's class record?

randomer · 10/07/2017 12:32

You did the right thing. The list grabber and her cronies sound awful. Poor wee kids with their futures mapped out. Self fulfilling prophecy