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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to inform school about naughty PTA mums?

144 replies

mrsamerican · 10/07/2017 11:08

I unfortunately opened a kettle of fish. Our PTA does tea and biscuits for new reception parents on transfer day. The school very intentionally doesn't inform parents what class their child moves into, and the head specifically asked us not to walk through school as we would find out our child's teacher in four hours at the end of the school day.

One mom, while "tidying up" found a master class spreadsheet with the full names, birthday, ethnic origin and SEN status of every child in the school. She then proceeds, with several other parents to inform everyone about which class their child is in, and they all start gossiping. I kept overhearing things like "Oh, I didn't realize so-and-so had an SEN plan. That explains a lot." It was awful, and had I been the parents of those kids, I would have been royally pissed.

I went home worrying about it, and decided that it really broke the data protection agreement we signed with school (our PTA members have to be DBS checked and everything). So, I called the deputy head and discussed it with him. He immediately wanted to know where the list was, and needed to find it as it could be all over the place at pick-up time.

My husband assures me that I did the right thing, but I totally got some looks at drop-off this morning, and as there were only a handful of parents there, they have to know it was me who snitched.

Did I do the right thing? Or is finding out your child's teacher really so important that you threaten the privacy of all the other children in the school we're supposed to be helping?

OP posts:

HattiesBackpack · 10/07/2017 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CardinalCat · 10/07/2017 14:48

100% you did the right thing, and thank FUCK for decent folk like you Honestly, it's enough to make me consider home schooling.

GallicosCats · 10/07/2017 14:56

Try reporting the breach.

ico.org.uk

steppemum · 10/07/2017 15:06

mulled - you think this sort of thing happens all the time?

Well, I disagree. I think people do stumble across inofrmation they shouldn't have, I am parent helper and parent governor and help school fair etc.

In my experience people do occasionally come across stuff they shouldn't, and they put it back and keep quiet.

It is a massive breach of data protection, and I think the school needs to investigate.

Either the school is at fault for leaving it lying around, or she went somewhere she shouldn't have done to find it.

elliejjtiny · 10/07/2017 15:19

3 of my DC are at school and they all have SN. It's obvious DS2 has sn as his wheelchair gives it away but DS1 and DS3 have more invisible SN so I expect most parents don't know. I'd hate for my boys to be gossiped about like this, OP you did the right thing and I would hope there is someone like you around if anything like this happens at my sons school.

milliemolliemou · 10/07/2017 15:24

So what have you done, OP, considering your first post was three days ago in the morning? Clearly most on MN seem to think you'd be right to report it to the HT. Perhaps I've missed a post.

MeanAger · 10/07/2017 15:31

Perhaps I've missed a post.

Yeah, it was in the OP

So, I called the deputy head and discussed it with him. He immediately wanted to know where the list was, and needed to find it as it could be all over the place at pick-up time.

Changedtocovermyass · 10/07/2017 15:36

That is appalling. It reflects badly on the school and terribly on those parents. Those lists generally include codes for pupil premium students which can be for all sorts of reasons. Each individual name etc is a breach. The PTA needs a motiin to dismiss those parents and clean up it's act for some decent members committed to the safety and privacy of the students. Do it before Ofsted gets wind.

Pigflewpast · 10/07/2017 16:47

At our school the governors are never given information on specific children, they might get told, 3 children in class b have SEN, or that child X is receiving help for xyz, but names are never used for that very reason- governors are often parents and they do not need to have specific information to do their duties as a governor.

That sounds a much safer way of doing things. This was a full list of names and details of needs. All the parent governors would know these children and their parents. I'm now wondering why the governor needed it. Friend was just "oh at least it wasn't the gossipy governor" but they could well have had the same list.

HattiesBackpack · 10/07/2017 17:06

Eh why did I get deleted?

I suggested the pta member wasn't being honest? What's wrong with that?

Toysaurus · 10/07/2017 17:09

When I was a parent governor a report came to me and someone had forgot to anonymise the names of all the children. I notified the chair immediately who didn't see it as a big problem. I disagreed actually. I would never dream of passing on the information. However, I did feel incredibly uncomfortable knowing such personal information about children and the parents I stood next to in the playground. I'm sure they wouldn't be happy me knowing things so very private too.

steppemum · 11/07/2017 09:07

pig - as a governor I am never privy to the names of specific children. we get statistics - x number of children in the school with ECHP plans y number of children receiving SEN support etc.

It is a small school and it is often pretty clear who is who, but we sit behind the deliberate annonymity and chose not to put names to statistics, as it would be an invasion of parents privacy.

ittakes2 · 11/07/2017 10:27

You of course did the right thing. It was very brave of you. Ignore the looks. You don't really know what they know. Things will blow over in time.

katiekrafter · 11/07/2017 13:45

That's a massive DP leak and issue for the school and should most definitely be handled officially. On the PTA agenda as a minimum and I would expect the head to report to the PTA on what steps have been taken to make sure it doesn't happen again. Appalled.

MarklahMarklah · 11/07/2017 16:17

Step and Pig that's how DD's school handles it. Governors might know at a meeting that there are X number of children with SEN, or X with physical disabilities. We may know a number of children with ECHP plans, or number of children in each year group that have pupil premium, but that's it.

Both head of school and chair of Governors are very hot on data protection.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 13/07/2017 15:50

Again with the 'brave' thing - this time from ittakes2 :
You of course did the right thing. It was very brave of you

Can someone explain why reporting something like this to the school principal is considered a 'brave' thing to do? Why isn't it the responsible thing to do?
I'm trying to work out if for some reason there will be some fall out as a result of reporting it but so far no one has come back to explain the 'brave' bit.

TheLegendOfBeans · 13/07/2017 15:57

Because the level of social ostracision that's bound to come the OPs way from fellow mums in the school PLUS the risk that these low rent gossipy parents may be bitching about being called out on their shitty actions at home may lead to their children socially ostracising the OPs.

Some folk just couldn't deal with the hassle. Some people would be too scared of the fall-out.

Fear makes people do a lot of stuff that's basically not "right".

And that's why the OP was 1000000% right and brave to do what she did.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 13/07/2017 15:57

It can be both the responsible thing and brave. Brave because she may be regarded as a snitch. Even though you know it's the right thing to do, it doesn't stop people blaming you for 'telling' rather than look at their own behaviour. And if there is a clique of them like here it might not be too pleasant.

Of course it's not the bravest thing in the world, but a lot of people would be tempted to stay out of it and not say anything. I don't quite understand why you have such an issue with people giving the OP a bit of praise for doing the right thing.

Kickhiminthenuts · 13/07/2017 16:15

You did the right thing, it sounds like the D head is taking it seriously as well.

As a previous poster mentioning about governors having SEN information, they shouldn't know about individuals, they shouldn't know about safe guarding only numbers. Unless theres a complaint to the governors they shouldn't know which child, only numbers.
E.g
Class 4 have 3 SEN, 2 on ECHP 1 receiving extra support.
Class 5 have 1 child with a child in need plan

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