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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to hear from my DH when he's on a stag do?

61 replies

Missb00 · 08/07/2017 20:45

DH has been away since yesterday morning and is back in a couple of days. He's abroad on a stag do. I've barely had 2 words out of him since he got there (even though he's been on whatsapp 20 mins ago Blush) and I'm wondering if I'm just super needy or would you have heard more from your DP if they were away? I'm the more affectionate of the both of us and definitely would have contacted him more if I'd been away now. I don't want to spoil his fun, just miss him lots and don't want to go another few days without any contact!

OP posts:
PTANameChange · 08/07/2017 20:46

YAB a bit U. I actively avoid texting mine when he's away, so that I don't seem needy! Having said that, he does communicate and I do like for him to give me a message in the mornings so I know he got back to hotel ok etc

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 20:47

Thanks PTA I was prepared for that! I usually ask for a text when he gets in after a night out but he always forgets 🙄

OP posts:
John4703 · 08/07/2017 20:49

YANBU
I've just been away at a work conference for ten days. I've texted my wife loads and called her. I asked her to start phoning me as I have used up my call allowance, it seems that in 8 days I'd used 460 minutes of calls and most were to my wife (I recon 10 or 15 minutes were quick calls locally)
Chatting while apart keeps us together.

JamesSpaderMadeMeDoIt · 08/07/2017 20:52

My husband told me it was uncool to get phone calls when he was on a stag do. 😱 I'm not fussed to be honest, a text a day is fine with me.

When he's away on business or I am we call each other every evening 💕

DioneTheDiabolist · 08/07/2017 20:52

YABU. I rarely text my DP when I'm away and I would be really pissed off if he was texting me a lot.

caffeinestream · 08/07/2017 20:53

I don't think one text a day is unreasonable.

ShatnersBassoon · 08/07/2017 20:54

Barely 2 words is sufficient. He hasn't gone incommunicado.

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 20:55

Thanks all. I'm used to him being away for work and usually have more contact then but as it's a stag i'll let him off Wink

Don't worry I haven't been sending message after message Grin

OP posts:
hana32 · 08/07/2017 21:00

YANBU. I don't think a couple of texts a day is much to ask for. When my DH goes away he keeps in contact via text (without me having to ask), a few times a day, and we would normally have a 10 min phone call or so per day as well. And it's the same when I go away. Keeping in touch a little doesn't have to get in the way of fun. It's just nice to hear from each other a bit surely.

Strongerwithoutyou · 08/07/2017 21:18

OP are you me?! Exact same situation Sad

kaytee87 · 08/07/2017 21:22

When my dh has been away before I've asked him for a text in the morning and if he remembers a text when he goes to bed. Just so I know he's safe, I can get a bit anxious about my loved ones safety.

Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2017 21:27

I wouldn't be bothered, not if he's on a stag do. I would wait til he got back for all the gory details.

MaisyPops · 08/07/2017 21:31

He's with friends having fun.

I'd expect no more than 1-2 texts unless there was something funny he wanted to share.

thebigbluedustbin · 08/07/2017 21:39

YABU. He's on holiday and out having fun. It's not helpful for you or him for you to obsess over texts.

One text a day is enough. Let him have his fun.

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 21:40

Ah bless you stronger! Feel free to DM me if you're feeling down!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2017 21:41

If DH started calling me every five minutes or asking me to call him I would be Hmm

MrsJayy · 08/07/2017 21:43

I got 1 text at the airport and another when he landed last stag do Dh was on i really wasn't that bothered he doesn't have messanger or anything.honestly leave it be

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 21:46

I'm not asking for a text every 5 mins though Hmm I haven't bothered him at all and have been leaving him to his own devices. I tend to get a bit anxious when he's away and like to know he's alright which I don't think he really understand.

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 08/07/2017 21:49

Depends on what is normal for you both. DP and I text a lot when we are in the same city and working and it only drops a little when we are away for work (questions about shopping and dinner). If you barely text then that continues as normal. If you text a lot and that has dropped I'd be disappointed (international data rates notwithstanding).

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 21:50

We usually speak a lot throughout the day whilst we're both at work etc scottish. Data is unlimited where he currently is. I'll push my neediness to one side for a few more days then!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 08/07/2017 21:51

I agree it depends what's normal. DH and I will always send a few texts when we're apart, not loads but we like to know how the other and DD are.

Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2017 21:51

No need for the Hmm face I was referring to John4703 upthread, but I trust DH to contact me if things aren't alright rather than if they are IYKWIM.

Original poster
Missb00 · 08/07/2017 21:53

Sorry sparkling! That's a good way of looking at it.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 08/07/2017 21:55

Yes if I hear nothing I assume he's just getting on with it and there's nothing to report. Grin

Voiceforreason · 08/07/2017 21:56

Back in the day, when my husband was working away, he would ring me to let me know he had arrived and that was it until he came home. No mobile phones back then. The advent of mobiles has created this situation I believe.