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Original poster

To want to hear from my DH when he's on a stag do?

61 replies

Missb00 · 08/07/2017 20:45

DH has been away since yesterday morning and is back in a couple of days. He's abroad on a stag do. I've barely had 2 words out of him since he got there (even though he's been on whatsapp 20 mins ago Blush) and I'm wondering if I'm just super needy or would you have heard more from your DP if they were away? I'm the more affectionate of the both of us and definitely would have contacted him more if I'd been away now. I don't want to spoil his fun, just miss him lots and don't want to go another few days without any contact!

OP posts:
RoseLight · 09/07/2017 09:04

Why would you need to worry about coming across as uncool or needy? Surely you have been together a while and your relationship is already established? Therefore whatever contact you have or how you behave about it is not really going to be a surprise to him?

There is nothing wrong with wanting contact if thats what you want. Also nothing wrong with not hearing from him at all if that is what you want instead.

I'd be a bit embarrased of my husband if he cared so much what his mates thought (whether too much or too little) or even if they had an opinion, i'd expect that behaviour off teenagers.

I dont text or ring my dh much if at all when away and vice versa but thats fine for us. If we wanted more it would be more. But certainly no time to pretend i'm such a cool wife that i should swallow all of my feelings on the matter if i felt differently and wouldnt be married to a man who would want that fakeness from me!

StickThatInYourPipe · 09/07/2017 09:10

I never text dp when I'm away with friends maybe a quick call to say i got there safe but that's about it.

There's nothing worse than being away with someone and all they do is sit on their phone. It's like holidaying with the top on someone's head

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/07/2017 09:13

DH went away for a week with work earlier this year and I received exactly 1 text in response to the 4 I sent (one gives up after a while).... he was most surprised to learn that I'd have liked to chat once or twice!

It all varies by relationship I suppose. I read about daily text check-ins on here and feel a bit Confused, but then I'm an avid FB user and so I imagine all the keen texters turn their noses up at me Grin whatever works for you!

ConstanceCraving · 09/07/2017 09:19

As long as I know he's arrived safely I don't expect to hear much from him when he's away on business.

Buckinghambae · 09/07/2017 09:27

When DH is on a stag do, I need a daily check in to know he's alive and that will do. On his own stag do, I ended up telling him to stop texting me and enjoy himself!

We both have Find a Friend switched on so I always know where he is if I really want to know and vice versa. Handy if I need to pick him up or he wants to know where I am and my phone is on silent. Not for everyone but works for us.

Goodasgold17 · 09/07/2017 10:08

We never have any communication at all outside of when we are in the same place unless one needs the other for something. I don't really want to know what he is doing at work and vice Versa and when he is away with friends I never expect it. Why do people need to know they are safe? Why wouldn't they be, they are adults.

CarrotFingers · 09/07/2017 12:03

I like to know people have arrived safely because when I was much younger my DM slid off the road in her car in heavy snow and turned it over (she worked half nights, and usually came in at 1am) and wasn't home when I happened to wake up at 3am. She hadn't text/rung me as she didn't want to wake me, she was fine and had managed to contact someone at her work to send a recovery vehicle but the horrible sinking panic when she wasn't there and the snow was falling thick and fast outside was awful. My DH lets me know when he's dropped off our DS at nursery, and I do the same, it's just something we do.

Nobody would want or expect constant contact with the person who was away, but it's not all or nothing - there's nothing wrong with wondering why a person hasn't replied if it's what they normally do, and they've recently been on the app or whatever. I doubt anyone is going to be having so much fun 24/7 that they're incapable of sending a message, if their partner would prefer that they did. Equally there's nothing wrong with not bothering if both people are fine with that.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/07/2017 20:36

dont think it hurts to send an arrived safely - good morning - night text if away for a few days

df on his sons stag texted me am and pm, and had the odd call from him-was away 4 days

MyheartbelongstoG · 09/07/2017 20:39

My boyfriend managed a phone call every day from prison.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/07/2017 21:12

Dh went to Las Vegas with the boys for 10 days. He called to say he arrived safely and hotel ok, called 5 days in to say hello, called to say he was in airport to come home.

Fine with me as I don't need constant contact/reassurance, but there is no right or wrong. If you need contact and he wants to enjoy his holiday without having to check in you need to discuss a compromise.

Worriednurse · 09/07/2017 21:20

Me and dh text several times a day when he's at work. If he went on a stag do, I'm pretty sure he would text a few times a day and give me a quick phone call at some point to see how me and dcs were

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