To ignore the mum I nuzzled?

[AnotherEffingOrangeRevel]

Kids assembly. There with my DP. Looking for my daughter, not concentrating, "nuzzled" a mum who, from the back, out the corner of my eye, l must have thought was DP. "Ahh, look at them all" I drawled in her ear, hand on her waist .

Anyway, she turned slightly, looking horrified, backed away. I said nothing. Now she looks terrified in the playground. Should I just say to her "look, I'm sorry, you just looked like my (male, very hairy) DP from the back"??

Or should I start nuzzling everyone so she doesn't feel targeted??

Keep doing it yearly. It will become a tradition

No, no, no, the true British way is to pretend it never happened. It will be even more awkward to bring it up!

If it makes you feel any better, at an antenatal class another mum came up behind DH and, thinking he was her own DP, pinched him on the bum and asked him whether he could make her a cup of tea. These things happen! And yes he made her a cup of tea.

Definitely pretend it didn't happen or turn it in her and insist she was the nuzzler

Not the same but when I waded in to break up a playground fight (don't ask) another school mum and I ended up tackling each other in the melee. Now whenever we see each other in the playground we break into giggles.

That really did make me giggle, I stopped short of spitting coffee over the keyboard though .

It was basically assault/harassment.
Thank you for your excellent thoughts

Just wink at her every time you see her. (And be prepared to get strange looks from everyone she talks to)

I once jumped on a girl in a supermarket and yelled, I thought she was my sister and I was trying to scare her... She wasn't and looked absolutely horrified!
I just backed away gibbering "I'm so sorry I thought you were my sister"!

Surely it was involuntary assult OP?!?

Fabulous ! 😂😂😂⭐️

Don't you have an identical twin?

Oh yes I like the idea of winking at her each day!

Move.

I've done this three times at parties, gone up to men who I thought were my DP and nuzzled them from behind. Every time I have acknowledged it immediately by leaping in horror and shouting 'sorry I thought you were Bob', which I think helped to diffuse the situation. On two occasions the actual Bob was watching in amusement as I nuzzled the stranger.
Given that you didn't acknowledge it immediately I think you have no choice but to never speak to her again.

Yes, you have to "wink bigly" at her at every opportunity.

that is so funny

Hand her a note saying "why so cold..? Did our encounter mean NOTHING to you?" Then run away, giggling hysterically.

Some excellent suggestions here...

My dad did this to a customer at the supermarket he worked in... He thought she was my mom come to do some shopping before she picked him up 😂 he leapt back with an apology and repeatedly said "I thought you were my wife" but she never came in again.
I agree with PP soon as you didn't acknowledge what happened at the time you need to never speak to her again. Could your kids move school so you don't have to see her? Surely that's the British thing to do.

. I almost choked on my crisps

A tiny boy once smacked me on the bottom in a supermarket. He shouted "Mum BUM!"

I turned around and he gawped at me in shock...an imposter!!

In the supermarket i watched my wife at the other end of the aisle walk upto a guy browsing pizza and vigourously slap him on the arse. She was mortified the bloke actually ran. She still goes red when i bring it up