To ignore the mum I nuzzled?

[AnotherEffingOrangeRevel]

Kids assembly. There with my DP. Looking for my daughter, not concentrating, "nuzzled" a mum who, from the back, out the corner of my eye, l must have thought was DP. "Ahh, look at them all" I drawled in her ear, hand on her waist .

Anyway, she turned slightly, looking horrified, backed away. I said nothing. Now she looks terrified in the playground. Should I just say to her "look, I'm sorry, you just looked like my (male, very hairy) DP from the back"??

Ha ha, love this

(grin) will await the post from nuzzled mum... (wink)

Many moons ago I was propped up at the bar, reading a newspaper while DH played pool. He finished playing and came and stood next to me. I didn't look up from the paper but slid my hand up the back of his t-shirt where upon I came across a vest under the shirt. I was wondering to myself when he'd started wearing vests when I turned round and looked into the horrified face of his mate I don't know who was more embarrassed me or him haha!

When peripheral vision lets you down!

I did this once...to my MIL

I was holding the handrail on the tube once that a family of three were also holding (the one near the door so we were kind of all encircling it) when the dad started stroking and fondling my hand. It hesitated to react just long enough that it then felt too awkward to say anything or move (plus no space) so I just let him carry on until we reached the next stop whereupon he realised it wasn't his wife's hand... the look on his face, he was so mortified poor thing. He didn't say anything, just kept his head down and scuttled off, fortunately it was their stop!

Oh God, when I was in year 3 or 4 I had an older friend (must've been year 6) who I sometimes played mummies and babies with on the playground/field. One day I spotted her laid on the grass, ran up and jumped on her tummy. Looked down and it wasn't her. I just mumbled 'i thought you were someone else' and ran off.

I still feel mortified 25ish years later.

😂😂😂

GirlsWhoWearGlasses "I did this once...to my MIL"

Well, I suppose it's not unusual that your MIL resembles your husband, but re. your user name, maybe you need new ones.

I just chocked on this much to my dp's amusement

Just say it wasn't you
It worked for Shaggy

Not the same but when dd was 3 she was being really difficult in the supermarket - running about, grabbing stuff off shelves, shouting -nothing I could do. Eventually I flipped, grabbed a hand and gave it a tug whilst snapping "I've had enough we're going home now"

I turned round and was confronted by a somewhat horrified looking woman in her early 30s!! DD was across the aisle giggling.

^^^^nothing I could do stopped her^^ Obviously I did try!

You obviously have to move away. Like at least 100 miles or so!

I have nuzzled the back of a colleague. It was a very instinctive thing - he is built like my husband. He turned around to me and asked if I'd just 'rubbed my nose on him' (English not his first language). I laughed and apologised.

I have also felt the arse of another colleague/friend, and I have no explanation other than muscle memory. I apologised with 'Sorry, I appear to have just sexually assaulted you. I have no idea why'. He saw the funny side.

Oh these are so funny

OP that made me laugh! Some very good suggestions. And good related stories
I'm fairly ok I think, although I did once tell the estate agent that I loved him before hanging up (along the lines of 'love you, bye', not a declaration of extramarital lust or anything). I just live in hope that he didn't hear me/hung up first. And DD aged about 2 once grabbed a random man round the leg in a cafe, thinking he was her dad. They were both quite surprised.
Anyway, I vote for winking at her in the playground every time you see her. Style that shit out! And don't be surprised if she's not there come September

Managing a small local shop years ago and who I thought was my mum came in and up to my little cash desk, I lent over, hugged her and gave her a big kiss then when I sat back I realised it wasn't. Not only was it not my mum but I had no idea who this woman was she looked absolutely nothing like my mum either she said "are you this friendly to all your new customers?" I just played it out as if I was!

these things happen.

A few years back Dad bent down to do his laces and a child jumped on his back and yelled giddy-up, he had 5 children that were still little plus my 2 with him and a few of their friends so just assumed it was a child he knew and galloped off across the park. It was not a child he knew.

I once phoned my mum on the morning of her birthday and sang the whole of 'Happy Birthday' to her. The voice on the other end said 'That's very nice dear, but I'm not your mum....'

Youvegotafriendinme why did you initially think it was your mum if she looked nothing like her then?

I consistently attempt to hold my SIL's hand when she is walking next to me.

She feels like DH, walks on the same side (if he is not there) in almost exactly the same position. Its weird.

Now she just laughs and says 'you're doing it again'.

I have also attempted to abduct someone's child. There was a sea of little blonde heads and I picked up the wrong one (who was a friend's little boy who knew me well so he didn't object). Almost got out the door before I realized.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss that's very funny, but please say what happened next.

A friend was out with her dad. She saw him from behind, went up to him, took comb out of his back pocket and started combing his hair. He turned around, it wasn't her dad 😂 I also think you need to go with the winking. Please come back and tell us how it goes down.