To be self absorbed, talk about myself constantly, and only bother with people who fawn over me from now on?

[DefinitelyMolly]

It seems like it's the way to be! I've tried being a nice, good friend to people and no one appreciates me or gives a shit about me.

It just sounds like you're befriending the wrong kind of people. Or maybe you're coming across in some way that's unappealing - it's impossible to say without knowing you. But it's probably just that you're wasting time on the wrong people, try and find some nicer ones.