Do your children say please and thank you?

[Whichwayyisup]

My friend has 2 dcs aged 7 and 9.

They are nice enough children in that they don't swear or hit (although they hit each other quite a lot!) but they don't seem to have a grasp of manners.

They rarely engage in conversation with adults but will interrupt conversations to get their mum's attention. They will either just stare at anyone who tries to engage with them or completely ignore.

Also they never say please or thank you. I bought them an ice cream this afternoon and they both just grabbed it from my hands.

Friend didn't say anything. Just smiled indulgently and praised them for being hungry and eating well

AIBU to think that they are old enough to have some basic manners?

Funny how it's always other peoples kids. Those people must not post on MN..

My 3yo has had please and thank you mastered for a long time. She still interrupts though but we're working on it. I'd be if she was like that by 7 and 9.

DD is now 13 and from 18months she would say please and thank you, and I would always respond with you're welcome when she said thanks, which she does now too. I love good manners, it shines out of kids

My ss doesn't always say it and it grates on me and I pull him up on it and so does dp.

Ds says ta and he is 1. I will ensure he says please and thank you because I really cannot bare it when people dont.

Yes mine do, unprompted. They do not interrupt either...It took a a thousand tellings to get that one through to them but they get it now.

weirdly my 2.5 year old ASD toddler with speech delay says her version of 'thank you' pretty much perfectly every single time.

she hasnt figured out please yet

My just turned 2 year old says please and thank you without prompting 90% of the time. Says it with a prompt 10%!

Mine can do it and are generally good with it. But now and again it starts to drift (at home mostly - they seem to manage it for "best behaviour" people) and I have to get back on it like a rotweiller. Would love to know how to make it permanent. Please, thank you and eye contact are my holy trinity.

Yes. Mine are older 12-16 but they still say thank you for my dinner, please may I get down. It's the only thing I've taught them they consistently do. They say please and thank you at other times too but sometimes forget. My 11 month old puppy also can say please .

If they are taught from young they should say please and thank you,parents fault if they never say it, but little ones can forget sometimes

6&4. Have to be honest they don't always but I always pull them up if they don't.

Mine are now 13 and 17. They were taught from an early age. I've been known to not let go of something until they say thank you or occasionally a passive aggressive 'you're welcome' if they forget. Having said that they don't forget often. I always say please and thank you to them so I hope they've learnt by example.
I think manners go a long way and as I pointed out to my dc it costs nothing to be polite.

Eldest dc: variable. Lots of issues, and feels the pressure if reminded, so that can be counterproductive. Does say a genuine thank you sometimes.

Middle dc: often forgets, but a quick reminder is all it takes, and she always remembers when it matters most (e.g. Outside the family)

Youngest: an absolute darling who rarely forgets (only 4!), and is charming with it. So will usually get down from the table and (unprompted) say something like 'thank you for my lovely food' - even when it's something he doesn't particularly like!

They always use please.

I've realised of late though that a lot of the time they don't say thank you but will say 'Mum you're a legend' or 'you angel' or similar instead....which is a (bad?) habit I think they've got from me as I use both.

How impolite would you class that out of interest? If, for instance, you made a coffee for a colleague and they took it off you and said 'oh, I was just considering a cuppa, you're an angel' rather than 'thank you'. Would you consider that just as good but informal or rude?

My god. Horrible, horrible parenting. Teaching your kids manners and social skills is literally one of the most important things we have to do as parents. Your friend is failing her kids miserably. And YES, they absolutely should be saying please and thank you. I think you should have asked them to. As they started to run off, you could have said "And what do you say?" and wait for them to say it.

GreenHillsOfHome

I would take that as a thank you.

My 3 do, but stepdaughter was never taught. She would stand and stare if someone asked her a question. Was embarrassing. She's much better now, though, it just takes practice and many little reminders!

Stepchildren never use manners. It's a MN fact.

They need to be taught. My 20 month old says please and thank you without being prompted, she's been talking for a while and picked them up early on. My 3.5yr old needs reminding now and again though, but manners are very important to me so I will remind him when needed.

I very often feel like I am permanently reminding dd. I do it with dd's friends too. I did it to one of my friends in the pub the other day too

My 2 year old says please and thank you as do the 10 year olds I teach. I would probably find myself automatically correcting friends' children if they didn't but then they know me well enough for that.

I insist on it.

Mines getting the hang of it slowly

Mine are 6 and 3 and mostly remember.
Recently my mum gave my 3 year old a small gift. I prompted him with "What do you say to Granny?"
You could see the cogs whirring in his mind.
He said "Sorry? Please? Thank you? Thank you! That's it, thank you Granny."
It did make me laugh that he had to try all the options out!

I've been reliably saying please and thank you for about 37 years and my mum still won't let go of any item she's giving me until I've said thank you