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AIBU?

AIBU to want to redistribute household workload when I up my work days?

5 replies

flownthecoopkiwi · 07/07/2017 09:27

I currently work three days a week, my DH 5. We have two children, one 8 and one 3.
We have a cleaner one day a week. I do the food shopping, other household and clothes shopping. All laundry. All planning of menus and all cooking. 2/3 of household paperwork - so kids stuff but not bills. Do the gardening, lawns done sort of 50-50.
Since I will be losing one day a week at home, I think that some of this should be redistributed. Thoughts?

OP posts:
MoggieMaeEverso · 07/07/2017 09:29

Yes of course it should.

What is your partner's rationale for not redistributing??

mygorgeousmilo · 07/07/2017 09:33

Errr it should already be redistributed even with your 3 days. Assuming you have the children on your 2 days 'off'? Why would you have to do all of the cooking and laundry etc including the days when you both work? Seems very unfair!

flownthecoopkiwi · 07/07/2017 09:37

i don't know. And I do resent coming home after a long day and then having to cook. He's just lazy I think.
We had to have a cleaner otherwise I would have divorced him.

OP posts:
MoggieMaeEverso · 08/07/2017 06:59

OP you need to have a proper conversation with him.

I know how frustrating it is!

Sit down with him and say "these are all the things that need to be done, I'm not prepared to take the entire load on anymore. Do you want to be in charge of laundry and cooking, or would you rather take it in turns for every task? I don't mind how we divide it but it needs to be fair."

Then come back and tell us how the conversation went....

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 08/07/2017 07:23

In a similar situation with you. Kids are 6 and almost 2. We had DC1 not long out of uni (which I think is relevant as we never really got into a good housework rhythm before DC)

I then did a lot of part time waitressing jobs, just a couple evening a week so sort of naturally took on the house hold jobs. In the last few months, I've started working 4 days a week and on 3 of those, I get home later than DH.

He does the DCs dinner. He is genuinely shocked that I'm pulling back from doing everything. He keeps looking confused when his shirts arn't ironed in the wardrobe and his face when I asked him to get our dinner ready is one of shock and bewilderment.

It's really frustrating. Before I did more assuming it was because I was home more. Now I think he thinks it's just because I'm a woman. I've noticed this attitude runs through his family. All the woman stand up after a meal to clean up. Which is ridiculous, these are all woman with good careers who in some cases, earn more then their counterparts.

I have 2 sons and am determined to make sure this arcaic attitude isn't handed to them.

Sorry for the rant.

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