Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

@AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley this is a great time for this meme, I cannot believe how rude she is.

I'd have to reply.

Dear cheeky bint,

Please take the hint, I nor my guests will be babysitting your children. If you would like to come with your children, then I'll see you on (insert day here)
Unfortunately my bed will be taken, DH has got a wonderful birthday treat for me apparently, and it involves using MY BED!

Love allroads.

Did she definitely realise she was replying to you, i.e. [grasps straw] did she think she was actually messaging her relative who was picking up her kids to keep them overnight so she could go to your party?

Please go on the main whatsapp to clarify the invite. Don't name names but at least when she starts bitching that you've let her down everyone will twig

at you replying "Are you having a fucking laugh?"

Just parking my arse here.....

I am astonished! Actually and genuinely astonished!

Good grief she sounds like a delight. FIVE kids dumped on you- happy birthday OP?! Not quite the present you were hoping for...
I really don't get how selfish some people can be. The mind boggles.

Definitely from the school of WORKzilla!

Actually, you got it perfectly with "are you having a fucking laugh" 😂😂

I honestly can't even get my head round this. OP your posts seem genuine but this is so bizarre and ridiculous my first thought was 'this HAS to be fake!'

I'm glad you put your response on there OP - what the fuck is with all the brass neckers at the moment?!

I love it like the fact she chose to have five kids is somehow your problem to solve!

We need to see the whole convo op! What did you write before that to her?
Have you asked why she isn't attending your birthday?

"Are you having a fucking laugh"
Please please keep updating op!!

She's removed herself from the whatsapp group!

I'm awaiting a shitload of texts now, after she starts moaning to my friends about "the injustice of it all!"

I'm at her message and at your reply.

What am I reading? How can anyone be so ridiculous to think it's okay to dump her kids on you on your birthday night?!

What's her excuse for not attending?

I actually think you're being a bit selfish, OP. Could you not quickly crochet 5 hammocks. Seeing as you're sitting on your arse all day

What a cheeky mare! Where did she get the idea that a party invite means you'll babysit her children? Does she do this a lot?

Noo! Don't do it!!

Holy shit!!! I have no words!!

You responded absolutely correctly by saying "Are you having a fucking laugh?!!" Has she responded to offer helpful suggestions about where you and DH should sleep? I do hope so!

Do you crochet OP?

Is this on the group message or just her?

Hahahaha this is hilarious. The brass neck of some people.

I love some of these witty replies but I would just reply "NO!!!"
Who needs friends like that?
What a total and utter pisstaker!

And to the poster asking how the kids would get there,OP said CF expected OP's husband to collect them (presumably in two trips) two hours before the party even fucking started.