Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

[AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley]

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

I don't understand, she knows the people on the WhatsApp group are coming to your party! Why would she ask them to babysit?!

"You know who your true friends are when (sic) your truly in need" ....of a shag.

I've obviously reached THAT age......... none of this surprises me anymore! Bugger.

Was going to post that I think it's workzilla needing a break because she has been looking after her kids all week but I see it's mumzillas apprentice.

Mumsnet is the gift that keeps on giving this week. Maybe humid temperatures bring out the batshit.

The cheek

What made her think you'd want her kids?

I've a whole host of nephews & nieces (as well as my own kids) & love them to bits but I wouldn't even want to mind them in these circumstances!

Gah! Sorry about that x post. I see someone beat me to it.

She's not going to ask them to babysit she's asking their plans so she has an inn to slag op for letting her down and win people round she may think if she's really lucky someone will offer to bring her kids with them she is on glue after all

I would be crocheting various letters of the alphabet and posting them to her so she has to WORK to find out what the rude message is

Not read all the replies but no, just what??
Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month
I haven't read your other thread. How did she get the idea that it was kids only being dropped off though? Did you give her that impression?
Seems a weird conclusion for her to jump to!
YADNBU to want to have your own party without having to babysit other kids.
Just say something along the lines of "I'm sorry if there's been crossed wires somewhere, but kids are only invited if parents are coming too. We're not going to be able to accommodate unaccompanied children."

Just read this. Crikey OP she's unbelievable! Glad you got it sorted, good conclusion, and hope you have a fab party.

Absolutely incredulous! I'm glad you also have some real friends.

Surprising for such a long thread, but is there anyone that thought she's being reasonable?

Well I am agog.

Okaaaay...

I copied and pasted the messages onto a clipboard thingy, and removed all names. Sorry if I missed any speechmarks out or anything like that.

"LOL! I Won't even be looking after my OWN kids that night, let alone anyone else's! And unless you want them sleeping in the bath, there'll be no room. DB will be staying over, and as you know we can hear him from Stafford when he's had a beer in him, so he's nabbed the lounge.

Will I see you here or not?"

"You've got a housefull of kids why should mine miss out? They look up to you and ... has come so far with his voice now your teaching him he wants join the choir! What do I tell them? First you wouldn't let us in the other day and now this. Why won't it work? We can try to ome up with an answer together"

(I'm glad I mentioned my other thread now- fo context, I wouldn't let them in because I was on the phone talking to the POLICE ffs! And she knew this! Her response? "Oh, we'll be quiet!")

"It just doesn't work for me, for the reasons stated above!!!"

"I don't think anyone gets my position to be honest. You've got someone you can dump the kids on when he comes home from work and who lets you sit on your arse crocheting all day. The kids will be upset they can't come. How many other adults are there?Can one of them keep an eye out well your cooking? And what exactly the problem with the sleepover bit? What's wrong with your bed? If the oldest three share that then...on the camp bed and...top and tail with...?"

"Are you having a fucking laugh??? Where are me and... supposed to sleep?"

"I've seen you fall asleep on the chair when ... stopped over before so you can obviously sleep through his snoring. I've told the kids they're crying there eyes out. Thanks a fucking lot."

"Then allow myself to remove all tonight's upset and anguish from your life- ciao! 😂"

Where the fuck do these people spring from? It's not unreasonable for a lone parent to want the odd night off, but it's insane to try and hijack a friend's birthday for the purpose - and without even asking! Ironically she's totally shot herself in the foot, since you're unlikely to have her kids for an actual agreed sleepover ever again.

Other than CheekyFuckingFriend, @CheshireChat, I would assume not.

Thanks for the updates OP, well handled. Let's be honest, taking the moral high ground would have not made a blind bit of of difference.

Have you removed her from the group?

She's going to end up completely friendless if she keeps going on in this manner ... incredible behaviour!

from a fellow hooker (crochet)

Wow just wow. Glad you can stick up for yourself

acat I may have been able to handle it more maturely...I don't know. Maturity and sensible (ity? Ness? Whatever!)are not my strong points! I have emoji- diahorrea, and every episode of The Raggy Dolls on VHS! Maybe this year I'll grow up! 😂

Shiny she removed herself from the group before I got chance.

CF is a lunatic! Happy birthday, babysit my five kids and sleep upright in an armchair next to your snoring brother?

You've clearly ruined a night of passion ;)

Her kids are missing out because she is a selfish cow who wants to dump them on another person at their birthday celebration rather than stay (because she has a better offer) and be their mum, at the party she was invited to.

You are not the person making her DC miss out.

As for the added stuff dropped in about the police and her entitlement there she is not a friend.