Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWyd friend to play now.

68 replies

arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:26

Not an aibu but a wwyd.

6 year old dd has her best friend over to play tonight. She's here till 7pm. THey had a spat on the way home and now my dd has shut herself in her room in a grump, refusing to play, engage, or speak. Luckily I have another daughter, 8, who I've asked to play with friend, and she is so friend is happy.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
PsychoPumpkin · 06/07/2017 16:29

If the fried and your other daughter are happy playing together just let your other child sulk & see the play date out. Have words with your cold later about being rude to guests perhaps?

What was the fight about?

thefutureisfemale · 06/07/2017 16:29

Call the parents.

ProudBadMum · 06/07/2017 16:30

Let the other sulk, she will come down soon

Nocabbageinmyeye · 06/07/2017 16:30

Ask the visiting friend if she wants to go home early, if she does then call her parents/drop her home, apologise and tell your dd there will be no friends over again until she learns not to be rude

Original poster
arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:31

Fight was - dd had a stick that she was writing her name with in mud. Friend wanted stick to write her name. Dd refused. So friend messed up dds name with her feet.
So, dd started it!

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 06/07/2017 16:31

I'd be telling my dd to get out of her room and stop being so rude to her guest tbh.

Original poster
arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:33

Ok cabbage...I'm going in now to tell dd to stop being rude to guest otherwise no more...

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 06/07/2017 16:36

I also would be telling DD to stop being rude and silly and to come out immediately. I would then get them to apologise to each other. If she continues sulking I would warn that she will not have friends over again. I would let your other DD and friend continue playing happily.

Original poster
arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:40

So, I've told her no more guests. She has said fine, started crying and is now crying in her room. What now ladies??

OP posts:
Silverthorn · 06/07/2017 16:42

Er. I don't think dd was at fault in that particular scenario. Not surprised she's sulking.

Original poster
arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:43

Other dd is being lovely and friend happy and dd1 trying to include dd2.
Problem is dd2 has zero confidence. Dd1 is alpha child, brilliant at everything and lovely to boot. Dd2 now just muttering 'bf just likes dd1 better anyway'

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 06/07/2017 16:44

Give her one final ultimatum (nicely) and say its your choice to make, but I'm telling you the consequences now. Then leave her too it. Make sure you hold strong on the no friends to play afterwards though!

Sisinisawa · 06/07/2017 16:45

Friend was at fault! Not your dd. Poor girl.

Namechangetempissue · 06/07/2017 16:46

Ah, jealousy. I would try and jolly her along a bit then after you have said about her confidence. Can you start a board game for them all?

PippaFawcett · 06/07/2017 16:46

Honestly? I'm not proud but if a stern word didn't work, I would bribe/threaten her to behave! DS has form for not sharing his toys on play dates and usually I threaten to remove them all for a week Blush if he doesn't snap out of it!

Original poster
arethereanyleftatall · 06/07/2017 16:46

Really sis and silver? But dd didn't share her stick?

OP posts:
Namechangetempissue · 06/07/2017 16:47

I think they BOTH need to apologise. Its far easier that way!

KurriKurri · 06/07/2017 16:47

I would think of some nice activity to do - set it up then call DD2 in a friendly way and say 'we're doing X would you like to join in?' she may come down and interaction in the activity may make them forget the quarrel. If she on;t come down then she misses out and learns that it more fun to get over quarrels and move on otherwise you miss out.

2littlemoos · 06/07/2017 16:47

Try and get them all involved in a group game like twister to break the ice?

MoonfaceAndSilky · 06/07/2017 16:48

Er. I don't think dd was at fault in that particular scenario. Not surprised she's sulking.

I don't think she was in the wrong either, friend should have got her own stick, not mess up your dd's writing.

fannydaggerz · 06/07/2017 16:50

Friend should have got her own stick to write in the mud.

KurriKurri · 06/07/2017 16:51

I really wouldn't get into the rights and wrongs of who started what and who was at fault - they need to move on not mull it all over, I'd go for the 'everyone has silly quarrels sometimes let's forget it and be friends' approach. Sounds like it was six of one anyway.

FrancisCrawford · 06/07/2017 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BasinHaircut · 06/07/2017 16:52

I don't think anyone is to blame here as it's silly kids squabbles and they will be best friends again tomorrow, but as a child having my name messed up like that would have seriously pissed me off. Something similar happened to me when I was 4/5 and I still remember how angry I was at having my 'work' ruined.

I wouldn't make her play with the other child and just leave your other daughter playing with her until 7pm.

Maybe have a chat with DD2 later about it and understand how she feels.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 06/07/2017 16:52

Don't think your dd did anything wrong tbh. Her friend asked for the stick and she said no. Kids shouldn't have to immediately hand stuff over if they're not finished. Messing up what she had done was pretty spiteful.
As for what to do I would explain to the child that your dd is upset about her rubbing out her name and can the girls think of a way to help her feel better. Hopefully an apology would then be forthcoming. If not I wouldn't invite the friend again tbh. No wonder your dd is so upset. Not only has her friend been spiteful but she is getting to have fun with her sister while she is being blamed and punished for nothing!