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AIBU?

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Original poster

Charity donation instead of preschool leaving gifts

53 replies

ChildrensPartyNightmare · 05/07/2017 22:35

Quick background, we go to a very naice private preschool part time up north. It's lovely, we are very privileged to have it, and be able to afford it!

Our only child starts full time school in September, and we will be at least 1k richer a month. This 1k will go to savings, or be spent on stuff.

I was thinking instead of the usual thank you teacher gifts, we get a case of wine and donate what would of been the September terms fees to a children's charity in their honour.

I would like to chose a charity that encourages pen pals etc, from a selfish point of view, as I would love my DS to do something like this! And if the preschool wanted to, they could get involved.

Is this a ridiculous idea?

And if not any ideas on what charities?

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 05/07/2017 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
ChildrensPartyNightmare · 05/07/2017 22:41

Sorry for my poor grammar mike. Do you have anything constructive to say?

OP posts:
ThatsNotAKnifeThatsASpoon · 05/07/2017 22:42

Yes,I think it's ridiculous. Your gift should be in recognition of the hard work your son's teachers put in. A charity donation is a separate matter and nothing to do with them. Don't conflate the two.

ghostyslovesheets · 05/07/2017 22:43

depends if you want to thank the teaching staff or make yourself look good

DearMrDilkington · 05/07/2017 22:44

You just sound like your bragging tbh.

Get whatever you want to get.

Whynotnowbaby · 05/07/2017 22:45

Helpful comment there Mike! I think it is a lovely idea and I'm sure the staff will be delighted by the sentiment (especially if they still get their share in the case of wine!) If it were me I think I would look at giving the money to one a preschool in a less affluent area - a lot of them are run as charities and struggle to make ends meet when the majority of their attendees only bring in the council funding for their free hours - it's relevant and makes a difference to others. But if you want to go for the penpal idea there is no harm in that, it just seems to me to be something that wouldn't be too hard to set up without a whole charity behind it.

BrieOnAnOatcake · 05/07/2017 22:45

No. Donate to a charity if you wish to but keep it separate.

Surely the workers are mainly low paid, a present and a cars would be lovely .

BrieOnAnOatcake · 05/07/2017 22:45

A card!!!

Whynotnowbaby · 05/07/2017 22:48

I posted before I saw the others, I really don't think it is ridiculous, you are doing it in addition to giving the wine not instead of and it's not like you would have otherwise spent the £1000 on the staff, you would just have kept it.

VeryButchyRestingFace · 05/07/2017 22:48

I wouldn't do this... unless you're happy with the teachers looking askance at you, particularly in relation to the choice of charity.

What's stopping you getting your child involved in being a pen pal independently from the school?

Original poster
ChildrensPartyNightmare · 05/07/2017 22:48

I don't think it's bragging! A lot of parents I am sure will be x amount of money in pocket now they don't have to pay childcare.

Looking to pay it forward, and show my appreciation for a great preschool

OP posts:
HelloPossums · 05/07/2017 22:49

I'm confused by your post, OP.

Could you please explain it again? Blush

Are you saying that you'll be £1000 better off because your child will be going to a state school from September? Is this what you mean?

RandomDent · 05/07/2017 22:50

Perhaps a donation to a charity that the preschool is involved in?

HelloPossums · 05/07/2017 22:50

Oh - do you mean that you'll be better off from September because you won't have to pay for childcare anymore?

Original poster
ChildrensPartyNightmare · 05/07/2017 22:52

Yes hello exactly the case. We will just have pay wrap around. We are not exactly rich, but fortunate!

Basically I want to donate money instead of getting presents! (But will of course give cards and wine!)

OP posts:
WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 05/07/2017 22:54

Shittest present ever.

BrieOnAnOatcake · 05/07/2017 22:54

I think they'd rather presents!

NerrSnerr · 05/07/2017 22:56

If you want to donate to charity then do it but don't pretend it's a gift because it isn't. Give to the charity quietly and if you think the teachers are worthy of a gift then get something for them.

HelloPossums · 05/07/2017 22:57

OP, in your post, you've suggested not getting traditional gifts to thank your DC's teachers. Isn't a case of wine a gift though? I'm sure it would be really gratefully received.

From what I understand, you're deciding whether to give a gift to the teachers and to make a charity donation. Is that right!

HelloPossums · 05/07/2017 22:57

*?

drquin · 05/07/2017 22:57

Well do that ..... just don't expect someone else to get overly excited that you've chosen to donate to charity rather than getting them a better gift.

Personally, I'd separate the two.
Buy the teachers whatever gifts you like, and feel are appropriate.
Independently, and particularly if you're now better off, make some charitable donations.

WanderingTrolley1 · 05/07/2017 22:58

Sorry, but with WhatInTheWorld on this one!

Original poster
ChildrensPartyNightmare · 05/07/2017 22:58

The school doesn't support a singular charity, we do lots of fundraisers, but it's for multiple causes.

Me and DS have been talking lots about children who are less fortunate than him (especially as his birthday is coming up and he is old enough to notice any toys missing, previously I have bagged up toys/clothes without him knowing for various charities!)

Hence siggestions

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 05/07/2017 23:00

If you want to make a charity donation then that's fine and very nice but don't try to wrap it up as some kind of donation on behalf of the staff , for all you know they may prefer the money to be given to a dog rescue / cats home or dementia . Whilst I'm on the subject don't just give booze / wine , believe it or not not everybody drinks , personally I think if I were the stafff I'd rather you gave us all a nice gift voucher .

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 05/07/2017 23:00

Charity gifts aren't a gift unless actually asked for.

Don't dress up a charity donation as their gift because it's not, it's about you not them. If you truly value what they did then show them the appreciation and donate to charity yourself separately.