MIL and GMIL overbearing perfume

[Savelli]

My MIL and grandmother in law wear really pungent heavy perfume in copious quantities. I swear they bathe in the stuff. It's a horrible synthetic smell that makes me feel nauseous and gives me headaches and there's so much of it if I'm in the same room as them I can actually taste it.

A week ago I came home and our flat was filled with their smell- I asked DH if they'd been round and they had left an hour ago!

Today I walked past GMIL in the street and a fug of perfume was following her even outside.

I have not had this issue with anyone else. I don't really like perfume but I've never been this aware of it on anyone else. I mentioned it to DH but didn't make too big a deal as it's quite a personal thing isn't it and I don't want to be rude but in restaurants I haven't been able to eat my meal when sitting next to GMIL. DH doesn't seem to notice but I expect he is conditioned to it. Can anyone help me with a way to mention this to them without being offensive?

Yes, when my relative used to visit, the room absolutely stank. As the front door shut we'd be opening all the windows, even in winter. You'd be gagging on the stuff.

My grandmother wears youth dew it is seriously vile

It's like tomcat's piss!

Florentyna from Marks and Sparks sets me off. I've even had to leave the cinema when someone was wearing it. Instant nausea and headaches.

It takes more than "fresh air" to help when you've been attacked by bad scent. When I was in yr 5 at school, the class in before mine for PE had someone who loved Lily of the Valley body spray or toilet water. The after-waft gave me a splitting headache within minutes of entering the changing room and a PE lesson outdoors and a good walk home in the fresh air wouldn't shift it. Once it was in, it was v hard to dislodge!

It's not over the top at all!
Angel, John Paul Gautier, Samsara, poison, obsession, opium, red door, knowing by Estee Lauder, Clinique aromatics elixir, Chanel coco mademoiselle, Victor and Rolf flower bomb all make me feel sick and trigger migraines.
I've had to ask colleagues not to wear certain perfumes when I work with them and have explained why and they have been very nice about it.
Ask them what perfume it is and tell them politely about your migraines.

I love aromatics elixir, but use it sparingly as it is strong, always had complements about it. But I do like stronger perfumes its just knowing how much, or not to wear. Same with aftershaves, which I have also been known to wear.

Having said that a close colleague used to wear opium and that made me want to gag, and gave me a slight headache. Never mentioned it to her though and really would not of to do so.

Youth dew, also reminds me of my gran, along with the hideous blue grass, but never ever told her I did not like it, even bought it for her as gifts.

Do remember one year my FIL bought his new wife the set, and I mean huge 3 draws box set of youth dew as she liked it, dear god everything you touched was bathed in the smell, hand cream, body lotion, soap, talc puff (yes talc) candle, EDT, perfume, solid perfume on a necklace even she got fed up of it!

Pengggwn are you always so dismissive of other medical conditions? Would you suggest that a person with a dairy allergy was 'hysterical' and suggests they leave your house when you offer them a chocolate biscuit .

I tend to go with "I'm really sorry but I get the most horrendous migraines from perfumes. Please don't wear it around me or especially when we're out to eat" if they continued to do so they would be banned from the house and I wouldn't be going out with them (wouldn't be able to eat as migraine won't let me anyway)

I have actively got up and moved away from anyone who forgets. If that doesn't work I've asked them to wash it off. Being laid up for 24 hours plus isn't worth me being polite.

One of my friends wears Angel and bangs on about it all the time...I think its vile........

I'm sorry but this really is over the top. I couldn't be doing with all the hysteria about a bit of perfume.

Seriously? People have shared details of the debilitating physical impacts they get from others' (often over-) use of perfume and you dismiss it as 'hysteria'?

I'm lucky in that, while I dislike just about any perfume applied with too heavy a hand (puts me off my food and makes me feel queasy and headachey), I don't get bad physical effects from them apart from the occasional body spray that can make me wheeze if overused. I have in the past worn certain perfumes myself. I don't any more because I once had a colleague who had a severe reaction to articifical scents. Being a decent person I didn't want to cause her discomfort (and potentially her job) for what was essentially a bit of vanity on my part. And after that I fell out of the habit.

Wearing perfume isn't 'bad'. Many are quite nice. But dismissing the severe impacts of this on others is pretty crass.

As many have said, the biggest problem is those who think you have to splash it around and have your 'signature scent' linger long after you're gone who are the main issue. Doing that is pretty antisocial, as they are giving a clear indication they're not fussed about their impact on other people.

PENGGGWN

I have asked people not to wear certain perfumes when I work with them because I work in a vehicle with another person so it's a small space and it's horrendous.
Nothing else triggers my migraines apart from hormones and I'm sorry, I didn't make it clear that some of those perfumes would give me migraines if I wore them myself but are ok in small doses on other people.
I still think it's unfair to say people are being hysterical.

I also hate the smell. What really annoys me is when people wear a strong perfume/aftershave to go to a restaurant so that instead of tasting what I've ordered, my food just tastes of perfume if I'm seated near them. Why would anyone not think of that?! I've been in a restaurant in Spain once when the waiter asked a couple to sit outside because of quite a few complaints about her perfume.

When the smoking ban came out my friend's dad said he'd rather someone smoked near him in a pub than wore perfume as perfume gives him headaches. I don't think feeling nauseous or headachey because of perfume is that rare tbh.

I feel the pain of this - Only perfume that does it to me is Angel, I physically gag if I am near someone wearing it!

I try and stick with a fragrance oil myself, usually a baby powder smell!

Pengggwn, from the way you read, in going to take a wild guess that you've never experienced a migraine, allergy or even asthma attack. There's a world of difference between 'not pleasant' and a potentially debilitating attack. Are you also the sort of person who'd open peanuts on an aeroplane when told not to? Think school lunchbox rules are ridiculous when trying to avoid health issues in a couple of children? What about asking a smoker to stop puffing away near you? It stops being 'reasonable behaviour' when it affects others.

Pengggwn, so your want to wear perfume (which is not necessary in terms of hygiene) outweighs someone's medical issues? What if they had to work with you that day for whatever reason? Would you wash off your synthetic smell?

They have totally lost their sense of smell

I was going to ask if that was the case - my own parents sense of smell have dulled with age something they are not always aware of - they were asked not to do the plug-in scents in an empty shut up house they were trying to sell by estate agents - they were most offend because they could barely smell it.

I will say my DGM did this as well - but in her case she was struggling with personal hygine - washing clothes having baths or showers so "compensated" in her mide with strong scents.

You can try phrasing it as helping you with an awful alliment rather than you stink and need to toem it down conversation - but you still run risk of being considered rude I fear.

Pengggwn You are of course right.

However continuing to so something entirely unnecessary that causes someone else is also called being an inconsiderate arsehole.