MIL and GMIL overbearing perfume

[Savelli]

My MIL and grandmother in law wear really pungent heavy perfume in copious quantities. I swear they bathe in the stuff. It's a horrible synthetic smell that makes me feel nauseous and gives me headaches and there's so much of it if I'm in the same room as them I can actually taste it.

A week ago I came home and our flat was filled with their smell- I asked DH if they'd been round and they had left an hour ago!

Today I walked past GMIL in the street and a fug of perfume was following her even outside.

I have not had this issue with anyone else. I don't really like perfume but I've never been this aware of it on anyone else. I mentioned it to DH but didn't make too big a deal as it's quite a personal thing isn't it and I don't want to be rude but in restaurants I haven't been able to eat my meal when sitting next to GMIL. DH doesn't seem to notice but I expect he is conditioned to it. Can anyone help me with a way to mention this to them without being offensive?

I hate Angel too. My MIL had it for a while, it's so strong and sickly.

Not a lover of Chanel No. 5 either.

Is it Canada where perfume is banned in offices? Makes so much sense.

Drs and Hospitals tend to have signs up asking you not to wear it, but no it's not banned here.

I feel your pain. I get migraines from synthetic smells and strong perfumes. Febreze makes my head feel like it's going to explode.

I've had to have a similar conversation with my FIL. I just said o was really sorry but the strong aftershave gives me really bad migraines. He toned it down after realising that after his last visit, I was throwing up and had migraine for 5 days after. I've also had to tell my last job because they had those spraying air fresheners everywhere and I can't go in to my child's friends house because they have 6 of those air fresheners that spray out at random intervals!

You can mention it and be polite. Say you went with migraines to the Dr and they suggested this and to avoid it to see if it helps.

Angel used to set me off during pregnancy too.

I don't know what it is but there's one aftershave that to me just smells like very strong vinegar! I smell it sometimes on public transport and it makes me gag.

So rude to mention it.

Why would you? They might hate your scent/deodorant/annoying habit.

Have they criticised you?

Getting a bit more fresh air will do sod all if they have to sit near you in work.

What perfume is it op? Some are a bit strong and headachey. Colleague wears Chole... Smells nice but does seem to be headache inducing

Pengggwn, I've only asked people close to me (as in personal, not physical) to tone it down. However, suggesting to a sufferer that they should 'just get some more fresh air' is really quite ignorant. Perfume isn't a necessity for personal hygiene, though I know some feel they present themselves in a nicer way when wearing it. Unfortunately, most who wear it either don't know or care the effect it can have on those with allergies or suffer migraines. In my opinion, perfume wearers are just as selfish about respecting shared air space as smokers.

Mostly flowers and spices - perfectly reasonable smells.

Only reasonable for people who like them and don't have migraines triggered by them.

I like the smell of horses but I wouldn't put anyone else down because they didn't or it triggered an allergy for them.

I feel for you OP. I've never had a problem with this sort of thing-until I did! Our company accountant who came in to the office every month or so to do the books used to really reek of aftershave. It was so strong that we used to have to leave the doors open, pretending we were hot so British. When someone really puts too much on it can be overpowering.

(I wear perfume by the way, I love the stuff!)

It isn't rude to mention something that causes you extreme discomfort. Especially in your own home.

My work stopped using plug in air fresheners when i'm in as my allergic reaction was instant and visable. Colleagues have also toned down or stopped wearing strong perfumes too.

Whilst I can take antihistamine for the sneezing and itching etc, they do not prevent the horrific migraines caused by strong smells.

esmund a tutor at uni was so sensitive that he had to ask his students not to wear scent on days they had class with him, and a sign on his office door saying PLEASE don't come in if you have perfume on, just speak to me from the door. It made him terribly ill.

Dear God!

It isn't 'youth Dew" is it?

That stuff is rank!

YANBU. Whilst I don't think I've found a female perfume so far that makes me want to heave, I have found a male one (Joop) that makes me want to throw up every single time I smell it. Very odd. Smelled it the other day on the tube and combined with the heat I was queasy to the point of having to change carriages.

I'm fine with perfume on other people unless it's really strong, but if I wear any myself except on my wrists (and sometimes even then) it makes me feel nauseous.

Women who wear really strong perfume remind me of those old film noir where the murderer was always caught due to the lingering scent of their perfume.

I totally get this - although perfume doesn't trigger migraines for me, air fresheners do, and I sometimes find that 'new car smell' makes me feel sick. There are certain aftershaves I can't stand because I associate them with someone I'd rather forget.

If it's causing you a problem, why can't they be respectful of that and not wear perfume (or maybe wear less if that would work as a compromise?) around you?

It's not 'wearing a bit of perfume' that's the problem. It's when it smells like they've used the whole bottle!

Oh yes ugh. Former HR manager reeked of Poison it was suffocating. I remember her getting hold of ds when I took him in to work after he was born. Had to strip him and wash all his clothes when we got home as he still stank of it hours later.

Also an old great aunt, no idea what the perfume was but made me gag.

yuuuuuuuckkk

an (elderly female) volunteer at work fills the whole building with an awful synthetic floral poison. vile.

rude to mention it.

Why would you? They might hate your scent/deodorant/annoying habit.

Have they criticised you?

It's not a criticism when their scent spraying is causing a migraine so debilitating, you're in bed in a darkened room with a pain worse than childbirth and vomiting every couple of hours.

So wind your neck in and re read the reasons why the scents etc are a problem. Just because they don't affect you, doesn't mean it's the same for others. I certainly can't afford a week unpaid off work be sure I don't want to ask someone to tone their scent down.

My FIL is the same. It's so over powering and I hate it! It lingers on anything and I everything he has been near (including DS). I'm desperate to find a way to bring it up without it causing too much hurt. DH says he can't smell it but I can't see how he can't!

My grandmother wears youth dew it is seriously vile. We told her you couldn't buy it any more but her helpful friend got her some. My car stinks of the stuff when I take her out. My passenger seat belt permanently stinks of it.

I had to make up a reason to take a separate car to a family wedding a month ago as I ha serious anxiety about being trapped with them both in an enclosed space for two hours knowing how ill I would be afterwards. They have totally lost their sense of smell and must go through bottles and bottles of the most HIDEOUS synthetic heavy scent I have ever come across. I can't remember the name of it but one year I got given a bottle from them for Christmas. This was after MIL asked me what perfume I liked and I told her that I didn't wear it.

For those saying "but are they nice people?" That's not the point- I'm not saying I don't like them I'm saying this is affecting me massively and even after they have left my house I have to air it out for hours to rid the place of the foul smell!

I love Youth Dew! My DM always wore it and died 12 years ago. When I smell it I think of her. We are all different and I get that some people are affected by the smell of strong perfume but surley a polite request is all that is needed rather than harsh citicism of those who choose to wear it?