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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does anyone else's heart sink at the thought of clothes shopping?

128 replies

washinggotdarkedon · 05/07/2017 07:07

I'm going on holiday soon. I have nothing to wear. Actually I've nowt to wear when I'm not on holiday! Have a uniform for work, the rest of the time I look passable actually I'm starting to look very tatty

I've got money to spend but I go into town and practically have an anxiety attack as I enter the shops!

Anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
toomuchtooold · 05/07/2017 07:32

Yeah I hate it. Whenever I find something I like I buy 5 of them so I'll have them forever. No need to worry about going out of fashion because I am never in fashion (also I mostly shop at Cos, where the winds of fashion barely cause a stir).

myusernamewastaken · 05/07/2017 07:33

I hate it too...im a pear shape with a really huge fat ass and most changing rooms have those mirrors that you can see what you look like from behind.....they send me into a spiral of self hatred and loathing for days after.

OverTheHammer · 05/07/2017 07:42

I'm the same and only ever shop online.

DancesWithOtters · 05/07/2017 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oohloolala · 05/07/2017 07:43

I hate clothes shopping too. However now I've found one very small local shop that has lovely clothes so I go in there every so often and get a couple of things. Essentials I buy cheaply online normally ASOS. Never bother with big clothes shops or shopping centres anymore. Hate them. Such a boring, frustrating waste of my life!

oohloolala · 05/07/2017 07:45

Also get rid of any clothes you don't like and limit your wardrobe just a few key things that you like and fit well.

morningconstitutional2017 · 05/07/2017 07:47

Yes, indeed. I know it'll be difficult to find anything I like which is the right style, size and colour which will pass the test of time, etc. Items which are maybe a little trendy but not so much so that they'll feel ridiculous say, this time next year.

Am I too fussy? Maybe so. I only go clothes shopping to replace things which have worn out and yes, I don't like spending money unless it's necessary. So yes, clothes shopping is something I loathe. An exercise in futility.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 05/07/2017 07:54

I hate it. I am overweight but this is made worse as I have disproportionate boobs, so have to buy tops a size bigger just to fit them in. Can't buy dresses because they are either too small round my bust or hang like a sack. Can't buy shirts or blouses...

It is the thing I hate more than anything else, tbh. I like walking, but go into outdoor shops, look at all the women's clothes that stop at a size 16, and just feel humiliated, as if fat people shouldn't be even bothering to try to exercise.

Original poster
washinggotdarkedon · 05/07/2017 08:00

Ooooh I just knew my tribe would arrive! Not read all the replies yet but yes to hating buying shoes. Always hated it because I thought I had big feet (6) but the fuckers have grown in middle age - 6 seems positively dainty now!

OP posts:
Whatsername17 · 05/07/2017 08:03

Me. Fashion doesn't suit me. I'm so negative about how I look in everything. I drive myself crazy.

Wormulonian · 05/07/2017 08:05

I also have the huge boobs and keep being told to buy waisted dresses. However, i also have scoliosis and so one hip is higher than the other and I have one side with a nipped waist and the other with no waist - so waist dresses/skirts don't work. I am a bit overweight as well.

I order everything online and end up keeping lots of plain black and navy things

Original poster
washinggotdarkedon · 05/07/2017 08:09

I found clothes shopping stressful when I was young and slim.
Same when I was 30s and 40s and overweight.
I've lost weight but got much older which adds to the self-loathing.
I even find myself loathing women my age who are shopping alongside me ffs!
Personal shopper? I'd have to interact with another human in a shopping environment and disappoint them when I emerged from the changing room hot, flustered and frustrated.

I fear I am a lost cause ....

OP posts:
SunTrapped · 05/07/2017 08:12

What sort of clothes do you like? What colours/patterns make you feel happy? How do you like clothes to feel on your skin?

I go with a checklist in mind e.g. Loose fitting cotton dresses in pale colours that match X pair of sandals. Narrow it down so you don't get overwhelmed.

SaucyJack · 05/07/2017 08:12

Depends. I have a set style, so if I see something I like, and in my size, then it's all gravy baby.

I can't be arsed to wade through certain shops tho. And by that, I mean H&fuckingM. I hate the random placement of stuff. Just keep all the t-shirts/dresses/cardis together like wot helpful shops do. Please!!

ARumWithAView · 05/07/2017 08:41

You have to be strategic. Far too many times I have wandered into a shopping area at 3pm on a hot Saturday and emerged, knackered and tearful, with a pair of non-fitting non-refundable sandals and a £100 poly-blend flamenco blouse.

Go at 10 or 11 on a weekday. Drink a double espresso as you start.
Look in your wardrobe before you go, and make a list of what you really need, and what will work well with existing stuff.
Do not put more than 5 items on the list for any one shopping trip, or you will get List Blindness and buy a wok instead.
Do not buy a wok when you're clothes shopping, or any other large household item that will slow you down. Even if that is a really well-priced cat tree.
Wear your nicest underwear, your loosest clothes, and shoes you can kick off.
Consider wearing a heavy synthetic musk-based scent with a horrible name (Poison, Opium?), which will ensure you have a changing cubicle free on either side, and will also allow you to easily identify which clothes you tried on when returning to the store to purchase.
Have another espresso and a cake halfway through.
Plan a route. Go from A to Z, either buying as you go or making notes. At Z, consider your options and retrace your steps, either purchasing the items you've noted, or returning the items you've bought and now hate.
Never go into H&M. It is the fucking IKEA of clothing stores. You will be in there three hours and spend £50 on a sackful of garments costing no more than £2.99 each, and they will all be off-list and hideous.
Don't buy anything with a cut-out shoulder or ruffles, because maybe then they will stop.

NoWordForFluffy · 05/07/2017 08:44

Me! I'm 5'11" with size 8 (sometimes 9) feet. I'm very rarely catered for on the High St!

I buy online and do all my trying on at home. It's far easier than attempting a mission doomed to failure in the shops!

GiGiraffe · 05/07/2017 08:46

I feel your pain, am 6'1 and a size 16 with big ole clown feet. Can actually shop on the high street and most tall ranges are pitched at 5'10 - shopping is just a series of disappointments

Elephant17 · 05/07/2017 08:48

Me!!! I also hate buying without trying on because returning things is depressing to me (or having to go to the post office to send back).

I'm size 12, expect I don't have a terrible figure in most people's eyes but I'm very self critical and particular about clothes. My clothes have to keep to certain rules! I feel I can't wear loads of things so it's always had to actually find anything in the first place.

singmysong · 05/07/2017 08:50

Another tall one here. Why are we out of fashion? That knee length dress is only knee length if you're 5'5". And sports leggings, it seems that women with long legs don't play sport.
Browse the JL website or loads and collect it at Waitrose. And mostly take it back the next day.

Original poster
washinggotdarkedon · 05/07/2017 08:54

ARumwithaView - thank you - you genuinely made me LOL!

OP posts:
redexpat · 05/07/2017 08:54

Ive discovered one little trick which has helped when buying trousers. American brands fit me. Nothing else does.

Im in a diffetent country and cant always quite follow the style. So yes I end up ordering stuff online in several sizes.

Those of you with wide feet: echo and picolinos.

80sMum · 05/07/2017 08:55

I can't remember the last time I went clothes shopping in an actual shop, but it must be over a decade ago. I buy everything online. Much easier. More time to think. Can try on stuff in privacy of one's own home and also check that items go with the right shoes, tone with stuff already owned etc.
I recall when I used to use shops, that I would find something I liked, but it wouldn't be in my size or was the wrong colour, so I would go home and order it online, having wasted time and money on car parking etc. Then a light bulb came on!

MrsJayy · 05/07/2017 08:56

I am not very stylish i never know what goes with what so hate shoppinbi have a clothes uniform of dark trousers and various tops and tshirts. For holiday clothes i go to primark and Debenhams pick primark bottoms and see what tshirts debenhams has i also pick up stuff in supermarkets Blush

I cba to buy online and send it back far to much effort

MrsJayy · 05/07/2017 08:58

Im also under 5ft and it is a total pain getting trousers i have chunky thighs but skinny legs nothing seems to look right

gabsdot · 05/07/2017 09:02

Yes, Yes Yes. I hate clothes shopping. So does my DD9 so I have to shop for her and my DH too otherwise he would never have new clothes. I actually hate all kids of shopping.

I tend to go to M&S and pick up a pile of stuff to bring home and try on. I return what I don't like. They also do clothes in my local Pavers shoe shop and I buy things there too.

I can go a whole year without buying anything until the situation becomes desperate and I am forced to go shopping. I always go first thing in the morning when the kids are at school.

DD has grown out of everything all of a sudden so I'm sending a big order to ASDA. I showed her the stuff I had saved in my basket and she wasn't even interested in looking at that.