To want to ask, if you had your time again, and your dc were back at reception of primary school, how involved with other parents would you get ?

[LardLizard]

Would you do things the same again
Or differently and why ?

Exactly the same. I spoke to everyone and then made friends with the people I got on with. Still friends with some 19 years later!

Exactly the same. No regrets at all about throwing myself right in, and now in Y12

And it was hard because I am an introvert!

Exactly the same. I don't know a single one of them beyond a casual polite smile and have no desire to be any more involved than that.

Same as HarryDresdens.

I made one vague friend when DS was at primary school. DS and her son were very close throughout primary but drifted apart during secondary school. Both boys ( men!) are 21 but me and her became close friends about 4 years ago.

I wouldn't change anything. I had a decent set of friends that I had before kids that I am still very close to now so I didn't need to get involved with anyone else when our only common interest was our children were in the same class.

Interesting mainly the same then

I'm on the start of dd going into reception in September. Her nursery is part of the school so I already know most of the parents and children that are going into reception. I want to make an effort to get to know them and make friends but it's tricky because I'm fairly new to the area. There's a lot of birthday parties coming up that dds invited to so I'll hopefully get to make some mum more friends soon.

At DCs current primary school. Very. I dont know if it's because its a village school but they seem a lot more approachable.

At DCs last school. Nope. Still wouldn't touch some most of them with a bargepole. I made three lifelong friends from the last school. Even then I have my reservations but I think they're my own hangups.
The rest were just, well nope.

Same again for me. Made my best friends at the school gate. We still drink gin regularly even though DC have drifted apart and are at different schools.

Helped in school weekly and at events. Would still do that too as I had the time and DC loved that I did it.

What about you OP?

pixies that's true. Dds at a village school now and it does seem friendlier. Her old nursery was massive in London and no one ever talked to me apart from some childminders I knew from playgroups.

Would do the same again.
The parents that seem the most welcoming are actually the worst gossips & most judgemental. I'm more than happy to have kept a polite distance from them all.

I would not have joined the PTA and I would have made my friends a lot more carefully. If I knew then what I know now - hindsight is a wonderful thing 😃

I have no regrets. I made some great friends in the playground who are still great friends now DCS are adults. I was mostly a SAHM during that stage of my life and those friends were my social lifeline.

On this, as on so many things (sigh) I'm torn.
On one hand I regret not getting more involved as I see groups of friends chatting in the playground and I know next to nothing about the school dynamics. I would love to hear more about what really goes on.
On the other hand I know enough to know that there are cliques and in fighting amongst PTA, parent helpers and office staff and I'm glad I am not involved at all.
I've been slightly burnt by getting involved socially with a few parents during my eldest child's early years who turned out to be pita and it's always difficult detaching gracefully. Now I'm extremely wary and tend to avoid.

I made lots of friends....seven are still my closest 16 years on. Helped so much with reciprocal child care in holidays and after school. Always had someone to call on if I needed time on my own.
I was chair of PTA for five years and continued at secondary school. Loved it.

Eldest DC about to go into year 5 and youngest into Reception, I'll do exactly the same as I did five years ago. Be smiley, chatty and engaged whilst not over committing! I'm really good friends with some parents from DC1's class, but could happily stand and talk to any of them.

I help in school when possible, as it's a faith school and very much part of the community I'm a member of.

I wouldn't get involved at all. I have very little in common with most "mums" and can't do small talk. I don't care about what's happening in Big Brother or what reading book Johnny is on. The school gate memories fill me with horror.

I am trying to get to know mums... its hard, im newish to the area and am really struggling. theyre not cliquey as such, just very involved with eachother and not fussed about newbies

The same. You need to try and be friends with these people if possible.

It helps with the DC's social lives immensely , and it's great to have people to text to ask 'Is it dress down today?' or 'How is your DC going about making a scale model of the Solar System for homework' etc

Not to mention when anyone is ill and need to draw on friends to take/pick up from school. People to sit and talk to at school events and birthday parties.

Maybe I was lucky but they were a great bunch, we drifted once the Dc became teenagers but we are still in touch.

I invested a lot of time and effort in both school and other mums when dd was younger. Not sure I would change anything. Maybe I should have carried it on into senior school then she might have had an easier ride.

i have one friend from ds1 primary school and we only became friendly because her youngest son and my youngest son are both autistic i speak to people but its like neighbours im friendly and polite but i have no desire to make best friends i have more aquaintences from ds2 school as he goes to a special school i havent met them through school but through the various groups etc he goes too .

**Overthehammer Maybe if you talked to some 'people who are also mums and you see daily at school' you might realise they are a diverse group with interests other than reading books and Big brother. It's fine if you don't want to chat but to judge them all so harshly seems OTT.

My son just had his prom, two of the Mums I made friends with when he was in reception sent me pics of their dc in their outfits going to the same prom. These two women are amongst my closest friends.

I was new to the area and was a Southerner in the North. It's a small place lots of people never leave and I managed it and I'm pretty awkward socially. I made a supreme effort because I wanted my DS to fit in.

I'd do exactly the same. But our school yard seems devoid of the dramas often reported on here. I made some 'mum friends' - people to chat to whilst waiting for the kids to come out. No cliques, wendying, snubbing, judging, pajamas or fights. Or maybe all these tings happen and i don't notice.