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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at being told something really upsetting via email at work?

75 replies

Brigante9 · 04/07/2017 20:09

I'm a form tutor to Year 7. I really like my group. I've spent hours meeting parents, phoning them for good and bad things. I've spent hours with the children if they've had issues, I spend every lunch hour ensuring I'm available for them. They've n,ed their Snapchat group and their form football team after me. I don't think spending the time with them is abnormal, I think most teachers do similar.

Today, I was sent an email out of the blue saying 'We have finalised tutor groups for next year and we will be giving yours to a new teacher so you can be used to maximise progress elsewhere during form time (with Year 11 to support them in my subject).'

I am devastated to lose my form, obviously I will still be available should they need anything, although they will need to bond with their new tutor. I think supporting Year 11 is incredibly important, but I already have 3 hours a week with them, plus an extra curricular (unpaid) hour every week.

AIBU to feel that the email was not an appropriate way in which to let me know about this? It was from my line manager who has barely had time to sit down with me this year. I know we're all busy, but this is a really big deal and I think he should have spoken to me face to face.

For the sake of not drip feeding, I am new to this school this academic year and had zero induction. As an experienced teacher, I was expected to just get on, which I did, bar a couple of things which the line manager should have sat down to discuss. He is known for never managing to have meetings or be available.

Totally prepared to be AIBU for writing too much and being an idiot for being upset at losing my form!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 04/07/2017 20:13

Why not arrange to speak with him tomorrow to ask for more details, and to express your disappointment?

Do you think they feel you may be overworked dealing with a form on top of your other work, esp when you need to dedicate so much time to it?

MrsEricBana · 04/07/2017 20:14

Sorry you are upset and he doesn't sound like a great line manager. Would it be usual to keep the same form teacher for more than one year? Mine did have same teacher for years 7 & 8 but never before for two years running. Playing devil's advocate should they not be able to "deploy" form teachers to best effect? This sounds like a compliment to your ability I'd say.

PurpleDaisies · 04/07/2017 20:15

I think describing losing your form as "really upsetting" is OTT. I agree it would have been better to talk to you in person but it's sometimes tricky with catching everyone due to busy schedules.

This is very identifying and I'd worry about posting such detail on an open forum.

MaudGonneMad · 04/07/2017 20:16

Seems like a bit of an over-reaction. Surely having different forms is a standard part of teaching, not something 'incredibly upsetting'.

Loopytiles · 04/07/2017 20:16

Yabu on "losing" your form. Yanbu to think your boss is poor at people management.

youaredeluded · 04/07/2017 20:17

Does it matter? You have a job to do. That is to teach children. I think trying to dictate which form you get it a bit much. You just have to suck it up and do what your boss tells you. Like every other job.

MatildaTheCat · 04/07/2017 20:17

I'm not a teacher but I think you have to get used to this. Moving forms is inevitable and part of your role. Also the manager is considering the needs of other staff and pupils.

If he's so busy he hasn't got time for meetings with each teacher and doesn't sound as if he's that involved on a personal level.

Your enthusiasm is fantastic but don't get over invested. Your professional boundaries may have strayed slightly even if you had only the best intentions. the year 11s will be lucky to have you through their important year.

teacher54321 · 04/07/2017 20:18

I often feel that I am over sentimental about the kids that I teach, but I try to remain pragmatic about the fact that teaching is by its nature transitory. The kids all grow up and move on, nothing stays the same each year and neither should it. I would say that it's unusual to be that attached to a tutor group, but maybe as you've not had much support from your colleagues this year you've enjoyed supporting your tutor group as they've all been new at the same time as you. I certainly wouldn't be devastated if my tutor group was changed, they're all just kids.

user1497480444 · 04/07/2017 20:19

I do think you sound particularly over invested, and on that basis alone it is a wise decision to move you. But what if 20 tutors are moving> Should the manager spend all day tracking them down individually and breaking it to them gently? or just dash off all the information required in emails?

UpYouGo · 04/07/2017 20:21

I think devastated is a strong reaction, sorry! I'm primary and lose my classes every year and as much as you think they need you and are attached to you, they soon move on!

To your your line manager this as just business as usual. But if you're really not happy just arrange a meeting to discuss it.

Tinkerbec · 04/07/2017 20:24

I have a year 7 tutor group too. I am moving schools so I will be leaving them. I am more sad to keave some of my teaching groups.

I am there for my tutor group but not on the level that you are. I hope I do enough though.

Look at it the other way; you are obviously a good enough teacher to be chosen for y11 intervention.

C0untDucku1a · 04/07/2017 20:25

im concerned that youre so upset about losing your form.
Also year 7 are 11 and 12. Snapchat's minimum age is 13.

I dont think this is appropriate.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 04/07/2017 20:27

I really don't think that you are over reacting. I teach and have recently taken on a tutor group - I would be annoyed about losing them as a group.

Sometimes teachers are not overly invested in their tutor groups and so they may not have realised that you actively want to keep them. I would ask to speak to somebody about it

AnyFucker · 04/07/2017 20:27

Can you see it as a compliment ?

You have onviously done such a good job with that form they want you to utilise your skills with another group

Wumpychoo · 04/07/2017 20:29

You sound like a fab form tutor who puts a lot into the role. If tutors usually take the class for five years in your school (as they do in dc school) I can imagine it being disappointing if you've got attached to them. Just congratulate yourself on doing such a good job this year that the class hold you in such high esteem. All your hard work with them has unfortunately probably made them seem like an easy class for a new person to deal with, even though you know it was your efforts that made them appear that way!

Daria32 · 04/07/2017 20:30

Can you just ask not to change forms? If it's a new teacher, should be fairly straightforward not to swap. In my school they're fairly accommodating if you just tell them you'd rather keep your form.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:31

This could identify you, OP. Do you really want People to know the effect this has had on you? I am I inclined to feel your reaction is OTT. Your line manager wants to utilise you elsewhere. That's all.

nina2b · 04/07/2017 20:31

Today 20:31 nina2b

This could identify you, OP. Do you really want people to know the effect this has had on you? I am I inclined to feel your reaction is OTT. Your line manager wants to utilise you elsewhere. That's all.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 04/07/2017 20:31

I am surprised that so many posters are saying that it is normal to switch tutor groups. In my experience you take your tutor group from year 7 to 11 - unless there is a problem.

As somebody who has run a team of tutors - I often placed my strongest tutors into years 10 and 11 if I had a vacancy there and a newcomer into my team. There is a compliment in there

Donthate · 04/07/2017 20:34

I thought you were going to say one of your students had died! I'm also a teacher, you need to put this in perspective. Communication not great but also not a big issue.

Donthate · 04/07/2017 20:34

Also depends on the school. Many round here have a different tutor each year.

TheNoseyProject · 04/07/2017 20:37

Missing the point entirely, you should not be on social media with your pupils. You are their teacher not their mate. I am a governor and the schools I have been at have been clear that this is unacceptable.

ProphetOfDoom · 04/07/2017 20:39

Your Line Manager is just imparting info about changes next year & there was nothing wrong in their approach. Email is very effective in ensuring all invested parties know what's going on & any issues can be immediately flagged.

I think it's very common as a newb to the professional or to a school - if you've put in a lot of time and effort and gel with a group - to get very attached. I can well remember reading the form group allocations pinned to a notice board and discovering I'd got shunted to another key stage and I was dreadfully inwardly upset. But I'm an old croc now so it's more 'meh'. But that's how it was done in that institution and in the scheme of things it was good for my wider experience as it will be for yours. And it's a compliment that they've given you a yr11 group in a high stress year - they clealy think pastorally they need you. And you know education is constant change of curriculum, reallocation of groups & once you're there for longer it'll become the norm. Once the summer holidays commence and you go back refreshed you'll be looking forward to the new challenges your new form will bring.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 04/07/2017 20:40

Is she on social media with them or have they named a group after her - which is probably the name of the tutor group anyway.

ProphetOfDoom · 04/07/2017 20:42

Also just take care with the Snapchat thing - I'm assuming you're not on there with them and it's just an indication of their affection for you/an easy way to find each other!