Difficult. Both are "friends". They do do favours on occasion...WORKzilla 2 had me looking after her children roughly around 80 hours last year, she had mine about 10 hours max? On each occasion she looked after them (dr's appt and the like) she would offer to have them for extra time so I could have some me time, then rescinded the offer at the last minute as she had to get home. Funny enough her's stayed often til 9.30, she would not have mine past 5.30...oh and not forgetting the 'I'll take your's just so you can have a day out' (showing appreciation of the fact she KNOWS I get no time to myself as a lone parent...) and about 2 hours later asking me if I could have her children on the next available date as she had been working non stop for 2 months and needed a fun day out. I had been with my children non stop for a year at that point (children's father is a bleeper, which she knows), and she is married, husband is able and does look after their children. Let alone the constant 'I have no money' then every. single. time. she was here she would say at 5pm...'ooh must go, we are meeting friends for a meal at the pub soon'. She would say that also knowing we have not been for a meal out for months. Its bringing the anger back talking about it...I have distanced myself and no longer give out any free childcare to her. We do still see each other, I still like her, but take her with a large pinch of salt now, and NEVER offer to have her children even for a playdate. (oh and it was always at mine her children came round...and left it complete tip each time.) I really have to practice saying no more often.
This is why I admire Fam so much...saying 'NO' is bloody hard work sometimes. Particularly when someone is being 'a friend'. Its hard to remember than friendship is a two way thing.