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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand the issue with baby in a playpen??

136 replies

Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 12:52

I have two DDs, the youngest is 11 months, not yet walking but into everything. I am seperated so a single parent to the both of them, they see their father at the weekend.

When DD2 was smaller, she loved the jumperoo and this was ideal for me to shower/get DD1 ready for school/cooking etc. but she is getting bored and cries.

I have babyproofed the front room but there are obviously still a few unavoidable dangers and because of the age gap between the two of them DD1 sometimes has inappropriate toys so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the room to say go to the loo.

I was looking at playpens, which I could then fill with her toys and she would be happy and safe for the times I need to leave her unattended.

I mentioned this to my DM who said "why do people need to cage their babies?!" I ignored her but mentioned to my ex and he said "like a baby jail?" Confused

It seems to be a no no. Why?! Seems a perfectly safe happy environment and will only be used when it needs to, I wont be plonking her in 'jail' to sit and read a book for goodness sake.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 04/07/2017 15:20

Just be aware, the DCs may not agree with your assessment! Mine refused to go in it. Can you borrow a travel cot first, see how you get on?

Redredredrose · 04/07/2017 15:25

We called ours the baby prison. DS didn't love it - he used to whine the whole time he was in it, but at the time, we were living in a rented house with the kitchen on the ground floor and the sitting room upstairs. The ground floor wasn't really childfriendly so I used to put him in there while I cooked his lunch or put the shopping away.

user1499169579 · 04/07/2017 15:29

You can use Janet Lansbury's expression 'yes place'

Redredredrose · 04/07/2017 15:29

He has reins too (which he also hates) and we call them his lead, as in, "It's really busy here, let's put him on the lead".

SoupDragon · 04/07/2017 15:32

We had the Babydan one too. I used it to "fence off" one end of the rear reception room.

It has also been used for a puppy and someone's dog who needed to be kept inactive for a long time!

2rebecca · 04/07/2017 15:38

I just used to use the travel cot as a playpen. I think if you just use it to keep the baby safe when you are on the toilet/ having a shower/ cooking it's fine. It's a cage to keep them safe not a punishment. Apart from when in the bathroom I'd usually put it where I could see the baby/ toddler and chat/ sing to them.
Some people feel babies should be permanently clamped to their mothers as a punishment for being female or something.

WannaBe · 04/07/2017 15:39

I had that huge one with the padded flooring, baby dan is it? And all the toys lived in there so if I was going for a shower/to get dressed etc I could pop ds in there for a bit and he had all his toys. Then he could bring them out if he wanted and they got put back there at night.

My sister had it as a cage for her puppy a couple of years later. Grin.

Oh, and DS had reins too.

I am VI so it was vitally important that I be able to contain him to a point where he could be safe if I couldn't see him iyswim.

2rebecca · 04/07/2017 15:49

I had reins as well. Not used much but when they wanted to walk in busy streets I felt much safer.

MargotLovedTom1 · 04/07/2017 15:53

Unless your mother and your ex are going to come around every time you need the children closely supervised, then it's got bugger all to do with them.

minisoksmakehardwork · 04/07/2017 15:56

We used a large travel cot as a playpen, especially for keeping dts safe. It was also very handy when smallest children were ill as we could use it to 'quarantine' them away from them others. Saved having to clear up vomit from the room as well!

spiney · 04/07/2017 16:05

We called it the ' State Pen ' . Not cruel at all but really safe when you have to take your eyes off them for whatever. And much freer for a moving baby than contained in a high chair or sling. It's just a sensible thing to do. Gives them a bit of leeway but with boundaries.

Gets on my wick when people give it those knee jerk responses ' oh it's a cage '.

Lottie4 · 04/07/2017 16:26

If it's simply for keeping DD safe while you're say in the shower and can't keep popping her head around the door, go for it. I used to take my DD upstairs and she had access to the landing and bathroom only, and still had a bad accident resulting in an operation.

WhooooAmI24601 · 04/07/2017 16:30

We had a baby jail for DS1. From the moment he could crawl he was like a lunatic and spent his time hurtling into fireplaces, tables, floors and walls if he could. DS2 inherited the same prison and loved it. They didn't spend much time in there but on occasion it was essential.

They also lived in an Ergo sling when they were tiny so that I could get on with stuff and move about, so it's not as though they were without human contact. They've turned out incredibly well (mostly because baby jail kept them safe).

RoboticSealpup · 04/07/2017 16:33

Playpens are great. It's a completely safe space of their own where they can relax, look at books and play with toys without being told 'no, be careful, don't touch that!' the whole time.

Saying that, eleven months is about the age when DD stopped enjoying being in hers...

honeysucklejasmine · 04/07/2017 16:36

I call the jumperoo the "circle of neglect". I used it whenever I needed to do something important, like pee. DD loved it. Will do the same for dd2 when she arrives (and is big enough) but will also use a travel cot in future, as extra defence from dd1!

Original poster
Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 16:58

To be fair though, even if she doesn't like it, I feel like I'm running out of options as I do need somewhere she can be safely contained. In the morning I have to do both their breakfasts, get all the school stuff ready, lunch/bookbags, have a shower and get dressed myself and I cant have her in my eyesite constantly. If she doesn't like it, I guess I would just have to race around as quick as possible Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 16:59

honeysuckle the jumperoo has been the only way I can eat or drink anything since she was 6 months old Grin she is only now getting fed up with it hence the pen!

OP posts:
JennyBlueWren · 04/07/2017 17:11

We've got a large one which folds up easily (our living room's small). It was ideal at that stage as he could be put safely in it and know where he was. It now has balls in it and is referred to as a "ball pit" and makes a fun rainy day activity.

seething1234 · 04/07/2017 17:14

A playpen is perfect to place child in for short periods of time. Gosh my LO loves chilling out in his (it's rarely used). If the door has to be kept open when bringing stuff in from the car, when I pop out to the line etc.

The problem is when kids are left neglected in them.

Please don't leave child in high hair unsupervised. Awful story here in Ireland where a mum popped out and her child slid down and strangled on the straps

KimmySchmidt1 · 04/07/2017 17:15

Playpens are fine.

Nobody's son ever got arrested for knife crime at 12 because they put him in a playpen aged 1. Nobody's daughter ever got hooked on heroin and knocked up at 15 because she was put in a playpen as a baby.

There are way more substantive parenting decisions to worry about.

seething1234 · 04/07/2017 17:16

Just as a side note I have two. A wooden one where we have our Xbox on a table inside the playpen so LO can't pull it down :-)

TizzyDongue · 04/07/2017 17:17

Unless you're planning putting them in a dog crate for several hours at a time there's no issue in my humble opinion.

I didn't have the space for one when mine were small, but a den would have made life easier for me for those times you want to know they are in a safe place.

AntiopeofThemyscira · 04/07/2017 17:34

I find this very irritating. As an unsure mother with little family support I went with the general consensus at the time that play pens were Not The Done Thing. I do wish I had had the courage not to listen and just get one! My life would have been MUCH easier.

megletthesecond · 04/07/2017 17:38

Playpens are great until the older sibling starts releasing the younger one. then you have to resort to constant cbeebies to keep them out of mischief.

rainbowpie · 04/07/2017 17:40

I need a baby jail! Didn't bother with DD but need one now that we have DS too. People can judge all they want. I want to put a washing in or make us lunch, not leave them to go on a bender.