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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand the issue with baby in a playpen??

136 replies

Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 12:52

I have two DDs, the youngest is 11 months, not yet walking but into everything. I am seperated so a single parent to the both of them, they see their father at the weekend.

When DD2 was smaller, she loved the jumperoo and this was ideal for me to shower/get DD1 ready for school/cooking etc. but she is getting bored and cries.

I have babyproofed the front room but there are obviously still a few unavoidable dangers and because of the age gap between the two of them DD1 sometimes has inappropriate toys so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the room to say go to the loo.

I was looking at playpens, which I could then fill with her toys and she would be happy and safe for the times I need to leave her unattended.

I mentioned this to my DM who said "why do people need to cage their babies?!" I ignored her but mentioned to my ex and he said "like a baby jail?" Confused

It seems to be a no no. Why?! Seems a perfectly safe happy environment and will only be used when it needs to, I wont be plonking her in 'jail' to sit and read a book for goodness sake.

OP posts:
woodhill · 04/07/2017 13:53

Go for it. What's wrong with a play pen.

muckypup73 · 04/07/2017 13:54

Play pens are handy if you need to do things, like hoover up ect, buy one, you are keeping your child safe and ignore what the ex says, just say everytime you need to do something you will call him round, he will soon change his mind.

wildbhoysmama · 04/07/2017 13:56

I used ours for all 3 of my sons and all loved it. As pp said large BabyDan one is great- comes with lovely, padded floor cover ( DS1 used to always conk out for his morning nap!) and opens out to become a room divider, so is really, really useful. A friend gave me her old one to use as a fire guard too. Both passed on to others now as seem bomb proof, so well.worth the money.

TheSeaTheSkyTheSeaTheSkyyyyyy · 04/07/2017 13:57

We use one for the same reasons. Used to put him in the highchair but then when he started getting more mobile, that just frustrated him. So we switched to a playpen. We also have a dog so it gives him (and his toys!!) a safe place to play away from the dog.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 04/07/2017 13:59

We were too tight to buy a separate playpen do I just set up the travel cot in the corner of the room and popped the baby/toddler into it if I needed to pee or whatever. Worked a treat.

Just ignore critics and do what you feel is right for your baby

Wixi · 04/07/2017 14:01

We had one but didn't use it that, although it was permanently set up in the lounge. My daughter, though, did put herself in it and shut the gate when I used to start hovering Grin

Mothervulva · 04/07/2017 14:01

My Baby Dan was great: could contain baby, used it stretched out to cordon off an area. You can get them second hand. I'm always baffled by people who claim they don't use/like pens, reins etc. They're useful.

Anditstartsagain · 04/07/2017 14:02

Ive got a play pen for ds2 its twice the size of a travel cot so loads of space to play and has been a life saver for when I need thing to get done. Top tip the bigger one can also go in with lego or whatever and is safe from roaming baby. Mine is the summer pop up play pen from Argos can be put away in mins and can be taken to the garden/beach or park.

I lol at people who say baby jail/cage in my mind its the same as a cot or pram straps somewhere safe practical and comfortable for a baby.

RedStripeIassie · 04/07/2017 14:04

Of course there fine. I couldn't have got by without one. She soon learnt how to escape though!!

runninggranny · 04/07/2017 14:05

My daughter's house is such, that it is impossible to see the baby in the other room from the kitchen, so when it came to cooking dinner she put my grandson in the travelcot, which doubled as the playpen. He happily played banging sawspens etc. while she got on with it. He was perfectly happy because he could see Mummy.
Can't see a problem. You do what you have to to keep baby safe and happy.

lanouvelleheloise · 04/07/2017 14:08

FFS, I hate the way women are made to feel bad about sensible choices like this. It's fine. It's not like the baby is living in there full-time or anything!

I think your DM is being very aggressive questioning this. Look back at the way you were parented -were you really never restrained at all by any barriers? Were there no stair gates in your house, for instance? No slings? No strap-in buggies?

Sisinisawa · 04/07/2017 14:08

I had one but never used it. I didn't leave my babies in anything though. If they needed containing I used a sling.

But they're fine if not used all day.

I did have a friend who only ever put her baby down in the house in a playpen which I found weird and a bit sad for the baby.

ACurlyWurly · 04/07/2017 14:08

My lone parent DM used to sit in it to drink coffee while we played outside it! She said it was the only way she could finish a cup without us trying to wear it.

runninggranny · 04/07/2017 14:08

sauce pans what on earth Grin

Starlight2345 · 04/07/2017 14:09

You are keeping your baby safe..

There will always be someone who disagrees with your decisions... Do what works for you as a family.

woodhill · 04/07/2017 14:10

Didn't you get backache with a sling though? Baby's are heavy.

LostWithoutALight · 04/07/2017 14:13

We called ours baby jail, it was just a light hearted joke between us. When she was big enough to climb out we claimed she was prison breaking and nicknamed her Scofield.

She's 2.5 now and I miss the play pen days. Taking a shower or cleaning with bleach etc and knowing they are safe is invaluable imo. Mine was constantly on the move and up to mischief! I would have achieved nothing without the play pen or jumperoo.

As long as they aren't living in it for hours on end I don't see a problem.

(I too had a travel cot that doubled as play pen btw, it's a great idea.)

sparechange · 04/07/2017 14:13

My friend's childminder had one, with lovely squishy cushions in that her dd loved to sit and snooze on, so she asked the CM where the cage and cushions were from, so she could get one

Pets at Home. She had bought an actual puppy pen and actual dog beds! Grin
DF went out and bought the very same though...

Original poster
Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 14:14

When she was tiny I used a sling for things like putting the washing out etc. but she is heavy now and that would be dangerous for cooking and wouldnt work for using the loo and showering.

I think space wise a travel cot might be pushing it, I have been looking at the square or hexagonal ones that I think would fit in the corner!

OP posts:
moonbells · 04/07/2017 14:15

We bought two 2nd hand baby dan baby den ones off ebay and used them to fence off all sorts, like the back door/catfood, the TV/fireplace and (with the sitting room suite) a large carpeted area of the room, rather than using as a straight playpen. Worked a treat thanks to them being adjustable. Still have both of them in garage as nobody on ebay seems to want them even at a nominal amount, so OP, if you are anywhere near home counties and want one for free, pm me... I think I can find the floor pad and the wall brackets too if need be. They can't be posted as they're flipping heavy.

user1495451339 · 04/07/2017 14:17

I think they are great. Better than strapping your baby in a high chair or putting in a cot every time you need the bathroom/ cook a meal etc!!! At least there is space to move in them and you can have toys there. I got one as my sons didn't like to sit in a high chair while I cooked and were much more relaxed being able to play and move.

Slings are good for young babies but you can't really cook on a stove, have a shower or go to the loo with a baby in a sling can you? My sons would have gone crazy in a sling after 6 months as they wanted to move!!

Iwantacampervan · 04/07/2017 14:24

We had a BabyDan hexagonal play pen and have since used the separate parts to fence off areas in the garden and put across the kitchen door as a barrier for the dog - years of use ('babies' are now 17 and 16!)

yourcarisnotadiscovery · 04/07/2017 14:35

Yup Baby Dan one here too and it worked a treat. Kept DS safe when he was little and I knew I could relax and have a shower/sort out dog or whatever.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 04/07/2017 14:40

Totally ignore all those ridiculous comments about 'baby cages'. I had this too - I had a gorgeous child but totally hyperactive, and I was not going to leave him to injure himself while I went to the bathroom or had to make dinner. I'd have him in the same room while making dinner but it meant I didn't forget a frying pan whilst running after him.

Having said that, I wouldn't leave him in it for long stretches. And I used a great big hexagonal pen.

I can't really see how people cope otherwise with a big baby/young toddler - do they just leave them in a room by themselves?

moggle · 04/07/2017 14:54

Bananas I did (and do) leave DD in her playroom / the lounge by herself for a few minutes at a time TBH. She also would come into the kitchen with me. She is a 'good' baby/toddler (sorry I HATE that phrase but hopefully in this situation it gets across what I mean). She would sit and play with one toy for 5 or 10 minutes at a time before moving to something else. So I could plop her down with her walker or a few books and she'd just stay there and play with them while I went to do something and then I'd come back after a few minutes and check on her. She wasn't and still isn't particularly adventurous or mega curious - well, she is curious, but once she's investigated something (like a plug socket or what's on top of the table) she's satisfied and goes back to her favourite toys.
She's 2.5 now and keeps up a constant stream of chatter as she plays so I can tell by the volume of her voice if she's moving around... and she usually tells me exactly what she is doing at every moment (kind of annoying ...). I'd never start doing something I couldn't stop immediately though. Previously if I ever had to do something like that (clearing up broken glass maybe) I'd put her in her cot for a short while. Now she has a bed I could still put her in her room with the door closed and she won't try the handle unless I'm away for quite a while.
I'm under no illusions though that my as yet unborn twins are going to be the same and there's the added sibling dynamics so I think we'll definitely be buying one this time around!