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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand the issue with baby in a playpen??

136 replies

Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 12:52

I have two DDs, the youngest is 11 months, not yet walking but into everything. I am seperated so a single parent to the both of them, they see their father at the weekend.

When DD2 was smaller, she loved the jumperoo and this was ideal for me to shower/get DD1 ready for school/cooking etc. but she is getting bored and cries.

I have babyproofed the front room but there are obviously still a few unavoidable dangers and because of the age gap between the two of them DD1 sometimes has inappropriate toys so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the room to say go to the loo.

I was looking at playpens, which I could then fill with her toys and she would be happy and safe for the times I need to leave her unattended.

I mentioned this to my DM who said "why do people need to cage their babies?!" I ignored her but mentioned to my ex and he said "like a baby jail?" Confused

It seems to be a no no. Why?! Seems a perfectly safe happy environment and will only be used when it needs to, I wont be plonking her in 'jail' to sit and read a book for goodness sake.

OP posts:
Purplemac · 04/07/2017 13:14

How infuriating! They are a safe place to put your child when it's otherwise not safe for them to be out of them. It's really as simple as that Smile

When my friend couldn't make up her mind whether or not to get one, my mum simply told her that if she dropped a glass, it smashed, and she needed to clean it up, where would she safely put the baby?

EdmundCleverClogs · 04/07/2017 13:15

We call it 'the box of sadness' Grin. I'm still getting away with putting my toddler in there for 5 minutes here and there, as I'm trying to hold on to the precious minutes I get to myself on the toilet Blush. It's not going to last much longer though. Will definitely be using it for child 2 next year as well!

Glumglowworm · 04/07/2017 13:16

It's fine to use a playpen to keep your child safe.

You have to pee, get dinner, attend to your older child. Those things are non-negotiable! Of course it's better for the baby to be safe in a playpen than getting into danger while your back is turned.

wellies · 04/07/2017 13:16

My babies and I loved our playpen. Used it indoors and out.
Dd would sometimes ask to get in with ds and look at books.
I have lovely memories of both dd and ds watching me mow the grass from the safety of the playpen :)

PinkHeart5911 · 04/07/2017 13:17

We called it the baby prison but my dc loved it!

It was great setting it up in the kitchen so I could prep dinner and they played with toys very happily and I didn't have to worry about the crawling off etc

I don't get the issue with them

Funnyface1 · 04/07/2017 13:19

I think they are a great idea for getting those essential jobs done and making sure baby is safe while you do. Ignore other people, it's not like you're planning to leave the baby in there constantly.

grannytomine · 04/07/2017 13:21

My kids never liked being in a playpen, from day one they would scream till they were blue in the face the minute they went into it. I used it as a place to dump toys.

sticklebrix · 04/07/2017 13:22

We called it the baby cage too Grin It kept the baby safe from marauding toddlers when I turned my back. Was brilliant.

blackteasplease · 04/07/2017 13:24

Sorry I said DH rather than ex.

HazelBite · 04/07/2017 13:25

Ds1 loved it and the cat used to get in there with him.
Ds2 used to cry when put in it so it wasn't really used, but Ds1 was very good at keeping an eye on him so he was safer if I wasn't in the vicinity to watch him constantly.

I couldn't have coped with the Dt's without the playpen it saved my sanity and meant the rest of the family got fed!

Finola1step · 04/07/2017 13:25

Marvellous things. We had one set up for ages. DC were never left in for more than 15 mins (I think). But they do allow you to get on with a job when it really isn't safe to have a crawling baby under your feet. They also allow baby to entertain themselves for a few minutes which is a bloody useful thing to learn IMO.

Maudlinmaud · 04/07/2017 13:27

YY we had a cage. It was needed.
My own dm used to talk about tea chests being used as playpens.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 04/07/2017 13:27

If they work for you, go for it! I didn't feel the need, but having moved house when the older one was 6 months the house was well baby proofed (must get the ornaments out of the loft some day...) and a close age gap meant that DS1's toys weren't hazardous to DS2.

I did actually put DS1 on a lead though Blush He was an epic, insatiable crawler and had little motivation to slow down and learn to walk. I bought reins, but the strap was too short for a crawler, so got a dog lead to clip on. It saved me losing him through people's legs ! Wink

notfromstepford · 04/07/2017 13:32

Both my DSs loved being in theirs - I called it baby prison but as a joke!
I'd say go for it too. Just being able to go for a shower and knowing they are safe (and not eating that bit of lego we couldn't find/stickers off the toy box/the settee ) is fabulous.

lorelairoryemily · 04/07/2017 13:33

We called it the cage too but we did use it! Not an awful lot but it is handy when you want to mop the floors, go to the loo, shower....

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 04/07/2017 13:34

I don't understand how it's any different to a cot, tbh. It's for their safety.

I loved my playpen as a baby. And when my sister was born she went in there practically from day one to stop me trying to play with her Blush

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 04/07/2017 13:34

We called ours "the baby cage" as a joke.

But then it sort of stopped being a deliberate joke, and just became what we called it. So we looked very wierd when people came over!

AcrossthePond55 · 04/07/2017 13:34

Heh, we called it the 'baby crate' (as opposed to the dog crate)

It's a safety tool, plain and simple. You put them in when you need your attention to be elsewhere or when you just need a few minutes to catch your breath. They sit and play happily with some toys, you sit with a cup of tea and watch them play. What's the difference if they're in a playpen or if they're sitting on the rug?

ParadiseCity · 04/07/2017 13:36

Another poster here who had one and whose kids have turned out fine despite being being bars Wink

Herbpatch · 04/07/2017 13:38

I assume the people who shriek disapprovingly about play pens being baby jails are also those who object to reins for bolting toddlers because they're 'like dog leashes'.

tinypop4 · 04/07/2017 13:39

People will always find something to have an opinion about! If anyone is on their own with small children then it is totally appropriate to use a playpen so you can grab a shower/cook etc. I'm sure the baby will be fine, possibly even extremely happy, in a toy-filled 'jail' for a short while! Crack on, don't worry about what people are thinking.

Original poster
Peaches44 · 04/07/2017 13:40

Thanks everyone. My ex suggested I put her the highchair with me in the kitchen while I cook or shower. I think thats worse as she is more contained and would only be happy with food on the tray which would mean my eyes would have to be on her the whole time incase she choked.

When he has them he generally doesn't need a place to put her as 1) he often has his DM over to 'help' and 2) he hasnt got to do the things I need to e.g. the washing up/making packed lunch etc. as he can do all that when they are gone. He only has them for the day as DD2 is breastfed and not ready to stay overnight.

OP posts:
moggle · 04/07/2017 13:44

Yes i think the high chair will be a worse idea.
We never had or needed one for DD but I am expecting twins and I'm certain we'll be using something similar for them when they start getting mobile. DH is already joking about them cage fighting...

Woodifer · 04/07/2017 13:49

I used the travel cot

sycamore54321 · 04/07/2017 13:51

I am all in favour of live-and-let live with parenting choices like these and the challenges must be magnified when you are a single parent. If it works for you, great. If you haven't already gotten one and if you want to avoid the judgements of busy-bodies, using a travel cot is a great idea. Use it as a play pen when you wish, and if an interfering person is in your home and you don't want to have an exhausting debate, well then it's just somewhere for the child to have a quick nap during the day. If money is tight, I also think a travel cot a more useful and versatile investment than a playpen. I used our travel cot to contain my utterly fearless, and very-early-crawling eldest when I couldn't ensure his safety by my undivided attention. He didn't always love it but generally he was happy or at lest content for a short spell. If you can, find a really interesting toy and keep it only for play-pen time.