Children's birthday parties

[ChildrensPartyNightmare]

Would it be a unreasonable of me to request that all parents of "party arranging" aged children to stop what they are doing and swear an oath based on the rules below:

1. if your hosting a party, you give people enough notice, as in at least 2 weeks, not the week of the party
2. if your child gets an invite, you rsvp within 3-4 days
3. siblings are generally not invited (the host probably doesn't know how many children you have), if you can't get a sitter ask the host before hand, so they can prepare enough food, party bags etc
4. a party invitation is not an invitation for a Saturday/Sunday off for you the parent. You are expected to accompany your child and be responsible for them. Unless they are over the age of 9 and/or it specifically says you don't need to be there. Never assume.
5. number 4 is especially true if you want to bring siblings
6. if the party is in someone's home, at least offer to help tidy up, and as a very minimum don't litter in the garden.
7. a good host will whip round with a bin bag to collect rubbish a few times during the party, if your too posh for that, discreetly placed waste bins are ideal. No one enjoys that awkward juggling of paper plates and half eaten sandwiches at the end of a buffet.
8. rsvp with yours and your child's dietary restrictions. Don't just rock up and expect every single allergy, religion and intolerance to be represented. By default parties consist of cake, Jam, cheese and ham sandwiches, plus crisps, and if your lucky some cheese and sausage on a cocktail stick, stabbed into a foil covered potato. Jelly and ice cream is often present.

Anyone care to add?

I think you can leave children much sooner than 9. I reckon leaving them from about age 5 is ok.

Don't show up 45 min late.

As this is a democracy, that I have self appointed leadership of 🙈 We shall see what over parents say, my caveat was never assume though..

I never expect any guests in my home to help with cleaning up.

I always welcome siblings.

I agree with the other stuff.

9. don't be late, these things happen but message the host

I always welcome siblings, but then you have the awkward thing at the end when you panic and think you don't have enough party bags or cake.

Siblings are welcome, as long as it is prewarned

10. don't think you can't rsvp and then show up anyway. And be catered for. Especially true if it's a party in soft play or something else that needs prebooking

I would think any parent expecting to stay with their 8 year old child at a party would be beyond bonkers.

You know this is just for fun right?

But as self employed leader of the democratic society of children's party I will amend rule 4, to 6 years old

*appointed not employed
*party is parties

Still have a raging hang over from a family do last night 🙈

9?! No way! 6 onwards. I wouldn't have wanted 12 parents in my house for the last party I threw! What would be the point? Just loads more people to entertain, 13 7 year olds was plenty to keep me busy

When it's a really hot day and you are hosting a party in a crowded Soft Play establishment with no Air Con then provide jugs of water so the boiling hot parents can have a drink as well as the children.

If your child us known to be a 'problem child/spirited' please do not be the the first one to dump and run

1. No one i know has ever given 2 weeks' notice. 2-3 days usually - and parties after school are the norm.

2. Whole class invites via Whatsapp. Everyone acceots/declines very quickly.

3. That's why we do a piñata - doesn't matter how many siblings turn up, everyone has pointy elbows and a sweet tooth.

4. Children are dropped off bere from age 5 (a couple of dc at 4yo, but very easy contact with parents and not a problem.

I haven't been to a birthday party in a child's house since I was in short trousers.

If birthday parties are such a giant faff don't throw them. DS is 5yo we threw his first party last year, not sure we'll bother this year. Might take him away for the weekend instead (as we did for his fourth and he loved it).

Have experienced the opposite to the dump and run parents: parents of 8-yr-olds who still hang around so you end up having to feed/water/talk to them too instead of being able to focus on the kids.

I've never been to a party that wasn't like this except we leave them from age 5.
Do you really stay at parties till tyour dc are 9😱😱😱?

Oh children's parties in houses are a big thing here!

I live northern England so we mostly have large outdoor spaces adjoined to our properties or village halls etc to hire. I have a 50ft long garden so would be silly to hire any where for my DC party.

Most people I know have large spaces too, some time acres.

I would honestly never expect to be offered help, bit use the bins provided and dont litter!

How old are your dc op?

If you have reason to believe the host likes you, you can stay at any age. If the host has given you no reason to believe this, you can dump and run from 4 (3 if you think the host actively dislikes you)

I left my DS from 4 onwards, so did everyone else.

Completely agreed to no 2 and 3. I sent invites out with a good 2 weeks notice. Half still hadn't replied a few days before. They then turned up with siblings in tow. I didn't have any where near enough party bags and felt awful.

4, and in private nursery/fulltome childcare. That probably makes a difference doesn't it!

As in there isn't a school gate relationship. So parents don't know each other, hence the sibling annoyance.And the age 9 thing 🙈

I am sure the rest is true though.

Had a boy rsvp last year. Turned out the had religious diatry restrictions, as well as medical. So he could only eat the fruit salad I provided! His mum kept trying to leave and his sister came. I thankfully did more than enough party bags..

So youve no experience other than pre school parties.
It's different when they start school.

please don't tell me that I need to loook after an unknown amount of 4 year olds this weekend, without their parents...

This is why we need an children's part etiquette oath!!