Children's birthday parties

[ChildrensPartyNightmare]

Would it be a unreasonable of me to request that all parents of "party arranging" aged children to stop what they are doing and swear an oath based on the rules below:

1. if your hosting a party, you give people enough notice, as in at least 2 weeks, not the week of the party
2. if your child gets an invite, you rsvp within 3-4 days
3. siblings are generally not invited (the host probably doesn't know how many children you have), if you can't get a sitter ask the host before hand, so they can prepare enough food, party bags etc
4. a party invitation is not an invitation for a Saturday/Sunday off for you the parent. You are expected to accompany your child and be responsible for them. Unless they are over the age of 9 and/or it specifically says you don't need to be there. Never assume.
5. number 4 is especially true if you want to bring siblings
6. if the party is in someone's home, at least offer to help tidy up, and as a very minimum don't litter in the garden.
7. a good host will whip round with a bin bag to collect rubbish a few times during the party, if your too posh for that, discreetly placed waste bins are ideal. No one enjoys that awkward juggling of paper plates and half eaten sandwiches at the end of a buffet.
8. rsvp with yours and your child's dietary restrictions. Don't just rock up and expect every single allergy, religion and intolerance to be represented. By default parties consist of cake, Jam, cheese and ham sandwiches, plus crisps, and if your lucky some cheese and sausage on a cocktail stick, stabbed into a foil covered potato. Jelly and ice cream is often present.

Anyone care to add?

Oh god actually

1. Unless I have specifically invited you to stay and drink wine with me through said party, please leave any child over 4 at the door and go do something else with your day.

More than 2-3 weeks for an invite - most of us have busy weekends!

Have a party at a time of day that doesn't swallow up the whole day for everyone. Sunday mornings are good - Saturday mornings suck for all of us on the dance class circuit.

Lastly - if you know that another kid has a birthday around the same time as your kid, find out in advance if you can when/if they're planning a party. Nothing worse than 2 in a day around the same time (particularly if one of them is bloody costume & your kid has too much cake and spends the rest of the weekend vomiting!).

final and most important rule always have a bottle of wine chilling for when the final guest leaves and enjoy with any left over buffet 🎉

I have only left my 7yo daughter at one party without me and that was only because I knew the parent that was hosting at her own house really well and trusted her. Otherwise I leave the other children with their dad and stay at the party. They do tend to be soft play parties though so I don't feel bad staying and take the opportunity to have a hot drink in peace where I can!

For parties where parents stay - don't starve the fucking parents!!!!!!!

It's alright if your kid piles their plate and eats nothing (I get mountains of left overs) but for the parents of his hoover mates, they're ready to kill for half a carrot stick by the one the cake appears.

Pick your kids up on time! We were left with a girl after the party for 1.hr 40mins!!! I didn't have the dad's phone number or anything. We just sat at the bowling place like.a bunch lemons untill he turned up didn't even apologize or anything

If you are intending to stay then it is up to you to keep an eye on your child.
Also, don't dump and run if you know your child will get very upset.

Different people have different expectations though. I would never even ask if I could bring a sibling. You are basically forcing them on the host when they haven't been invited as they will find it too awkward to say no. I also don't mention my son's allergies as he's been capable from a young age of avoiding foods he can't have so I wouldn't expect anything separate to be made for him.