Children's birthday parties

[ChildrensPartyNightmare]

Would it be a unreasonable of me to request that all parents of "party arranging" aged children to stop what they are doing and swear an oath based on the rules below:

1. if your hosting a party, you give people enough notice, as in at least 2 weeks, not the week of the party
2. if your child gets an invite, you rsvp within 3-4 days
3. siblings are generally not invited (the host probably doesn't know how many children you have), if you can't get a sitter ask the host before hand, so they can prepare enough food, party bags etc
4. a party invitation is not an invitation for a Saturday/Sunday off for you the parent. You are expected to accompany your child and be responsible for them. Unless they are over the age of 9 and/or it specifically says you don't need to be there. Never assume.
5. number 4 is especially true if you want to bring siblings
6. if the party is in someone's home, at least offer to help tidy up, and as a very minimum don't litter in the garden.
7. a good host will whip round with a bin bag to collect rubbish a few times during the party, if your too posh for that, discreetly placed waste bins are ideal. No one enjoys that awkward juggling of paper plates and half eaten sandwiches at the end of a buffet.
8. rsvp with yours and your child's dietary restrictions. Don't just rock up and expect every single allergy, religion and intolerance to be represented. By default parties consist of cake, Jam, cheese and ham sandwiches, plus crisps, and if your lucky some cheese and sausage on a cocktail stick, stabbed into a foil covered potato. Jelly and ice cream is often present.

Anyone care to add?

I have done home parties since his was 1 x

If you say you are coming then turn up!!

If there is a good reason for not coming once you have rsvped (eg your child is sick ) then please let the hosts know. Just not turning up is rude.

Rtft op.
People are telling you they leave their kids ay parties age reception onwards
🙄
Not when they are at nursery

If you say you are coming then turn up!!

If there is a good reason for not coming once you have rsvped (eg your child is sick ) then please let the hosts know. Just not turning up is rude.

I have read the full thread!

That's why I am panicking! So I can expect some people to dump and run and also leave siblings, of an unknown amount because I don't know these parents and they don't know me...

Oh my!

Next weekend is going to be tough..

Lesson learned, you put in the invite parent must stay or parent can drop and go.
Are you always so dramatic, it's a pre schooler party in your own home nothing to panic about

If your doing a themed party let everyone know. Not just the people you see everyday.
My dd was invited to a fancy dress party a few months ago by a girl who used to be in her class but changed school recently.
Dd was the only one from her class who was invited. We was invited by messenger. Whereas I assume the rest of her new class mates would have been invited via paper invite with fancy dress wrote on it.
Dd felt slightly insecure not only did she not really know anyone but she was the only one not in fancy dress

I think re: dump and run brigade it definitely depends on the type of party. I once attended a soft play party whereby 3 DC's got injured can't remember what happened but quite a bit of blood involved 2 of these DC's parents had legged it most parents stayed as it was in soft play centre after school and wasn't really worth going home.
I remember another scary incident at a pool party age about 9 where a boy took badly ill and collapsed almost at the end mum knowwhere to be seen a couple of parents that were friendly with her tried to rouse her. An ambulance was called as she finally arrived the paramedics were with her DS.
I would add if you are intending to dump and run check with the host that this is ok first. Also please leave a mobile number and make sure the volume is switched on and you answer it promptly. Make sure to the best of your ability that your child is well and isn't severely dehydrated, isn't exhausted severely sleep deprived. Your child your responsibility.

It's just a fun thread!

Full of sarcasm!!!

brighteyes the "rule" says never assume!

In response to FunnyFarmer. Please don't do fancy dress parties unless it is something that every child is likely to already have. My DC love going to parties; we try to RSVP in a timely manner, bring a thoughtful gift and follow the rules. I do begrudge though having to shell out for a pirate/fairy/Harry Potter/Star Wars costume just so that they aren't the only ones not in fancy dress.

Rule 11. Please leave the cupcakes and sweet stuff in the kitchen for at least the first 7 minutes of the buffet. I know it's a party and I will mostly turn a blind to the levels of sugar and Haribo consumption but just give them a fighting chance of eating a sandwich, a cucumber stick and a sausage roll before they are distracted by cake! 🎂

YABVVVVVR EXCEPT No4, in which case YABVU

AS host, you need to provide enough help / support for yourself to look after all dc you invite. Once dc start school, then they are old enough to be left at parties by their parents in the majority of cases (extreme anxiety / some specific special needs possibly excepted).

Also if your going to higher a room for a party you need to organise some games too.
I've been to plenty of party's where the kids have just been left to run riot. No organisation what so ever. Same goes for house party's too I suppose.
I also took my dd to one of those pamper party's last year.
They only had 1 lady doing hair and another one who was doing nails and make up and nothing whatsoever for the 4 and 5 year olds to do while waiting. Not even any music.
Lucky my car stereo had broken at the time and I was using dd's old portable Bluetooth speaker. So I went to the car and got it and tried to pick out of my play list suitable music for a kids party. Then I, the only parent that stayed hosted a few games of music statues and bumps. With no prize for the winners. And that was the only entertainment they had!

Of course @ItsAMackerel. Luckily never had that problem most are usually standard fancy dress. Not specific fancy dress. I would never go out and buy an outfit for a party. Especially if my dc was unlikely to wear it again.
I've borrowed a few before now though. Dd isn't big on dressing up. She has a few animal ones but non the typical princess or pirate or superhero ones

Starting to feel bad about the sibling thing. I will happily accommodate.

I just need to know.

Might be better when dc goes to school, and it's more known that lJonny has a sister in year 3. I only know the children who have siblings because we sometimes pass each over on the stair case to preschool room!

YABU but only for the cheese and sausage sticks! WHERE THE PINEAPPLE AT BRO?

12. If your child is old enough to be left then please just drop and leave, especially if the host parent is obviously busy hosting the children.

And yes to the siblings thing, I've always done big parties, siblings are welcome, but it helps to know how many I'm expecting, last year I wrote on the invite 'siblings welcome but please let me know names for the party bags'

HTH

Don't 'loud parent' your crying younger child in a way that makes the host feel they have to say that child can stay/join in too. Your children are different ages and have different friends. Seriously, one of dd's friend's mum does this all of the time. At 'venue' parties she just let's him join in and then does the whole 'oh, where has he gone? Oh no dc, you are not supposed to be playing. I'm sorry, sweetheart but you can't!' Until the host says it's fine. This academic year she has managed to wrangle him joining in and bagged a party bag from every event weve been to. Last time we had a house party I ushered them out of the door, completely ignoring the crying/loud parenting and promised to send home an extra piece of cake. Maybe I'm just heartless? I just find the mums behaviour so entitled.

If you do expect parents to stay, provide them with at least a drink and a slice of cake. Cup of tea/coffee if it's in your own house/village hall, access to somewhere they can buy their own if it's somewhere like a soft play center.

If you're inviting more than half the class but not the whole class, don't make the teacher hand out invitations in front of all the other uninvited kids. There will be tears.

Don't have a whole class party and leave out one or two kids. ESPECIALLY not if you're leaving them out because they're disabled. Try and find a way of making the party accessible. And be aware that while your daughter might see a particular kid as Evil Bully, they're still a six-year-old and there's probably a lot more to the story than your six-year-old knows or has told you. If there's a kid she really doesn't want there, consider having a smaller affair where it isn't going to be such a snub.

4. What? 9? You want the parent to stay up till aged 9. Or not assume. BOGOF. I want to drop a child at say 6, definitely 7. A child should be old enough to stay on their own at that age. If they aren't then their confidence needs addressing. Or just refuse party invite.

Parents who insist of staying are just neurotic helicopters. And I'm not even talking about my own hosting parties. I'm talking about other children's parties. I see parents who just cant leave. They get on my nerves.

YABVU.

Stay through your bloody kids party with my 8 year old, while paying for childcare AND then clean your fucking gaff for you?

You're out of your tiny, lady.

drop off from 5 here. I don't expect people to tidy and if they are late well life happens. Dietary restrictions?! it's a kids birthday party not a sit down dinner. Unless a kid is severally allergic to some food.

I've given over a month's notice for my dd's birthday party. Other parents in her class have done the same. We also stayed at the parties this year (age 6) but we enjoy having a cup of coffee and a chat. I agree with most of your rules OP; they make sense to me (now that you've made the age amendment).