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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my DD join cub scouts?

57 replies

Cleanermaidcook · 02/07/2017 07:48

First post from long time lurker/commenter so please bear with me I'll try not to drip feed.

DD9 wants to join the cubs, atm she is a brownie but finds it boring, she's a tomboy and her friends are boys, she happiest doing physical traditionally 'boy' things. This is great, this is not the problem, she'd make an excellent cub scout.
However -
My DS7 is a beaver, due to move up to cubs straight after the summer hols. They already have 3 activities that they do together and this is their one hobby that they do separately. I'm wary of putting them together for yet another hobby.
They are very close, they enjoy each others company but I feel it's important that they also have their own thing that they do separately too.
DS is away on camp this weekend and DD has been in tears because she misses him so much, before he went he said he would miss her a lot too. If she joined they would go to camp together.
I'm just worried that although it's lovely they're so close they also need time to pursue things individually and have their own interests and space.
For me it would be easier if they were both in scouts, they have activities every evening after school and it would free up an evening. Also the 2 or 3 times a year they go on camp me and dh would get a child free weekend (no family or childcare, never had a night off in 9 years)
But i'm worried that they don't have their own space and interests and are too dependent on each other.
Also as dd is 18 months older than ds she would already be in cubs when he moves up from beavers and then again move to scouts before him and he would join the group with her already established there, I worry that it would change the dynamic of how he interacts with his friends if his sister is there iyswim?
What would you do?

OP posts:
shouldwestayorshouldwego · 02/07/2017 07:52

Is there a different pack that she could join? You wouldn't have the convienience of being same night/ same camps but would have other benefits. Or shift one of the other activities they do together. If both dc were boys you would have the same issue, would you say only one could join cubs?

grasspigeons · 02/07/2017 07:53

Lots of siblings move through the scouting movement together. Just ask they aren't in the same lodge or six of whatever it's called,

Def take her out of brownies an free up a place for someone who enjoys the activities they are doing.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 02/07/2017 07:55

I am a cub leader. We've had several siblings in at the same time or in quick succession. Doesn't change the group dynamic at all. I would let her go. They won't always want to do everything together so make the most of the convenience now.

Crumbs1 · 02/07/2017 07:58

Ours all went to cubs as that is what we have locally. Having siblings didn't make much difference.

minisoksmakehardwork · 02/07/2017 07:59

TBH I'd swap her to a group she enjoyed more but maybe a different one to her brother. They would likely still do district camps etc together but also have separate time too.

However; I urge you to speak to her brown owl too and appraise her of your dd's feelings. Guiding is supposed to be girl-led and if your dd is finding the activities aren't fulfilling her interests, it sounds like the group is either dominated by others or brown owl isn't taking enough input from the girls (rainbow guide leader here).

PratStick · 02/07/2017 08:00

I'd enjoy the free time myself but if they need separate activities put her Ina different troop

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 02/07/2017 08:02

There's only the one pack locally so her joining another isn't an option.

Really good point about if she were a boy would I feel the same thanks, not sure tbh, I think it's because she would be the only girl in the pack that I think it would change the dynamic but the point that lots of siblings go through together is a really good point that I'd not considered, thanks. xx

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 02/07/2017 08:03

I'd let her join. They can be in a diff group. She'll move up to scouts when she's ten so won't be for that long.

namechangefox · 02/07/2017 08:09

Definitely do it. Scouts is far batter than guides.

Don't worry about putting them in the same group, they'll be separated anyway I imagine. And they can just get on with it.

00100001 · 02/07/2017 08:15

Why is Scouts "far better" than Guides namechange? Confused

imsorryiasked · 02/07/2017 08:16

She won't change the dynamic of the group - she'll be there as a cub not as a girl
Honestly the kids treat each other all the same.

namechangefox · 02/07/2017 08:25

My experience is Scouts is more varied and challenging. Guides was very indoors/craft/food based.

harderandharder2breathe · 02/07/2017 08:27

I'm a Guide leader and would rather a child moved to Scouting than quit the whole Guiding/Scouting movement altogether

The Scouting leaders will be very used to siblings and will most likely make sure they're in different groups (sixes in brownies but not sure what they're called in cubs).

You should definitely let her move to the activity she will enjoy more

JustRosieHere · 02/07/2017 08:31

Do it! I moved DD to Cubs from brownies and it's made a huge difference to her. Brownies was very much colouring posters and decorating pre made cakes. At Cubs she irons, makes food from scratch, makes tea, makes fires, has camped out properly not in a dorm, done kayaking, climbing, archery and probably loads more I can't remember! It's a world away from the brownie experience I had and is teaching her useful skills. I wouldn't let the sibling issue put you off as the leaders will be more than used to it and it seems to me they often split them. They will form their own friendships too. I can't wait for my younger DS to get in to Cubs so we too can enjoy the camp weekends.

GrainOfSalt · 02/07/2017 08:31

Do you have woodcraft folk near you? They are outdoorsy and a far more even mix of boys/ girls

emmyrose2000 · 02/07/2017 08:31

My DH is a scout leader. There are heaps of sibling groups across the sections/age groups, including our own kids. It's never been an issue for anyone involved.

00100001 · 02/07/2017 08:36

Well I guess the units near you are different to ours.

Our guides light fires, cook over them, go kayaking, do first aid, go on wide games, camp, rock climbing, archery, have sleep overs in museums, shopping centers etc run entire eveningsghaving planned then themselves, do crafts, international evenings, cooperative games etc

ineedaholidaynow · 02/07/2017 08:38

If she is the only girl in the group she may have problems at camps. She will not be allowed to sleep on her own or with the boys. Does she have any friends she can encourage to join her?

JustRosieHere · 02/07/2017 08:39

When you say guides does that include rainbows and brownies too? I know when I went on to guides we did more activities than at brownies but I think for DD she was just switched off by brownies so would never have made it to guides. I know many with a similar experience to us.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 02/07/2017 08:41

We started with only 1 or 2 girls but now we have lots.

When I joined many years ago, my friend and I were the only girls. We were treated just the same as the others.

Scouting has changed my life.

icelolly99 · 02/07/2017 08:44

All mine are in Scouting regardless of boy/girl. As for being the only girl in the pack I wouldn't worry; sometimes my DD's have been the only girls until other girls have joined. As for camps boys and girls are actually allowed to share; but dont have to. They should have separate changing space though.

helterskelter99 · 02/07/2017 08:48

How sad that guiding isn't engaging her. I second speaking to her current group. The stereotypical images are terrible.
personally I think that guiding should be on a par with scouting and it's good for kids to do separate activities.

Original poster
Cleanermaidcook · 02/07/2017 08:48

Her brownies do lots of colouring, arts and crafts and indoor games, the cubs do backwoods cooking, cannoning, roller skating, rock climbing - far more appealing to my dd.
Thanks for the help I am going to approach the cub leader (who is a friend anyway) and ask if she can join but make sure they're in separate groups where possible.
Don't know what would happen at camp if she's the only girl but i'm sure they must have some contingency plan?

OP posts:
00100001 · 02/07/2017 08:57

The difficulty is that Guiding is a very separate movement to Scouting. They have different aims and ethoses. I can't talk For Scouts, but Guiding is (supposed to be) Very much girl led, with girls achievements and abilities at the centre.

If the girls in the unit are choosing to do crafts etc then as long as it is a balanced and varied programme that is what is supposed to happen.

But, it's not for every girl.

ineedaholidaynow · 02/07/2017 09:00

DS's group have always had separate tents for boys and girls. For one camp it looked as if there was only going to be 1 girl and it was arranged that she would share a tent with another group but do all activities with our group.

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