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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let my DD join cub scouts?

57 replies

Cleanermaidcook · 02/07/2017 07:48

First post from long time lurker/commenter so please bear with me I'll try not to drip feed.

DD9 wants to join the cubs, atm she is a brownie but finds it boring, she's a tomboy and her friends are boys, she happiest doing physical traditionally 'boy' things. This is great, this is not the problem, she'd make an excellent cub scout.
However -
My DS7 is a beaver, due to move up to cubs straight after the summer hols. They already have 3 activities that they do together and this is their one hobby that they do separately. I'm wary of putting them together for yet another hobby.
They are very close, they enjoy each others company but I feel it's important that they also have their own thing that they do separately too.
DS is away on camp this weekend and DD has been in tears because she misses him so much, before he went he said he would miss her a lot too. If she joined they would go to camp together.
I'm just worried that although it's lovely they're so close they also need time to pursue things individually and have their own interests and space.
For me it would be easier if they were both in scouts, they have activities every evening after school and it would free up an evening. Also the 2 or 3 times a year they go on camp me and dh would get a child free weekend (no family or childcare, never had a night off in 9 years)
But i'm worried that they don't have their own space and interests and are too dependent on each other.
Also as dd is 18 months older than ds she would already be in cubs when he moves up from beavers and then again move to scouts before him and he would join the group with her already established there, I worry that it would change the dynamic of how he interacts with his friends if his sister is there iyswim?
What would you do?

OP posts:
MGFM · 05/07/2017 08:42

I started in the brownies and found in very boring and dull and was always more of a tomboy so I swapped to the scouts where my brother already was. Was brilliant. No issues at all with being in the scouts with my brother.

On my first camp I was so excited I made everyone get up at like 7 am Grin

MGFM · 05/07/2017 08:46

And we were the first girls to join our scout groups. There were three of us and I don't believe in changed the dynamic but we were all tom boy types.

And this was about 20'years ago.

pinkunicornsarefluffy · 05/07/2017 12:38

miow I would go for it and sign your DD up to Beavers. It is great if they can work their way through the ranks. DD wasn't a Beaver as it was a new start up group and it had a huge waiting list. Then she joined Cubs late, aged 9 rather than 8, but she loves it and still loves Brownies too, and gets to go on all the Camps for both.

It does seem very sexist though that girls can be Cubs but boys can't be Brownies Grin.

FaintlyBaffled · 05/07/2017 13:02

She will move up to Scouts at 10.5 anyway so their time together will be limited, at least until DS moves up as well.

Pouncival · 05/07/2017 15:20

Having girls in my cub pack did change the dynamic but only for the better - I wish I had more girls - it's about a 1:4 ratio at present

BackforGood · 05/07/2017 15:28

Excellent decision. My dd was the first and only girl in her cub pack back in the day - it was never an issue.
I started hr in Brownies so she would have the chance just to 'be her' and not 'ds's sister' but Brownies wasn't for her. She has, however thrived in Cubs, Scouts and Explorers, and is now a Leader.

JennyBlueWren · 05/07/2017 15:49

Ask your son if he'd be happy having his sister in cubs. They'll be used to having siblings there.

I went to Brownies and Guides but they were very active. When it was time for Rangers I found they sat and did crafts (in the summer!) and chatted about boys. I wanted to go to Venture Scouts which my brother was already at so my parents said I could if he agreed (which he did so long as I wasn't annoying or embarrassing).
IME/O, since girls have been able to join Scouting, Guiding has become more "girly" (although still worthwhile) with party planning and beauty type stuff.

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