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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu due to DH being selfish

52 replies

Clarabelle39 · 02/07/2017 01:52

DH has a hobby that takes him out during the week and weekends. I don't mind but at times it involves drinking my main objection is the wasted next day. He doesn't spend time with out DC we have 3. He is a great dad but I'm really disappointed in him and his selfishness. But he says it's all in my head which I know isn't the case.

OP posts:
SouthWindsWesterly · 02/07/2017 02:10

Surely unless it's wine tasting, he doesn't have to actually drink to perform this hobby?

eatabagofdicks · 02/07/2017 02:11

Err no YANBU. I really don't understand how there are so many husbands that get away with this shit.

MotherMucca · 02/07/2017 02:19

What on earth is his hobby? Confused

Beelzebop · 02/07/2017 02:21

Cricket? That takes bloody hours!

MotherMucca · 02/07/2017 02:22

He doesn't sound like that much of a great dad.

My son's dad is better than that, and I can't fucking stand him.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 02/07/2017 02:29

Watching sport at the pub? You know that's not an actual "hobby", right?

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/07/2017 02:37

How is he a great dad?

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2017 03:10

He doesn't spend time with out DC we have 3. He is a great dad but I'm really disappointed in him and his selfishness.

How do those two sentences work together?

Saiman · 02/07/2017 05:38

You say it takes him out suring the weekend and during the week. How much time are we talking about?

How often are the drinking sessions? Are they a full day?

witchofzog · 02/07/2017 05:48

Bet it's pool

EyeHalveASpellingChequer · 02/07/2017 06:10

If he doesn't spend time with his children then he's not a great dad.

Chillyegg · 02/07/2017 06:17

This is what makes me happy im a single parent

AnarchyKitty · 02/07/2017 06:18

Is it Hashing?
If so drinking is a huge part of it. I went on one once. Never again.

emilybrontescorset · 02/07/2017 07:00

If he was a great dad he would be with his kids.
How much time do you get to piss about doing what you please?

Guitargirl · 02/07/2017 07:03

Darts?

He doesn't sound much like a great dad tbh. When does he see his kids?

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 02/07/2017 07:07

If he doesn't spend time 'with out' DC then presumably he takes them with him to the club house?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/07/2017 07:08

How often/long is he out/unavailable and when?

Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2017 07:59

A great dad who doesn't spend time with his children.....

Yeah.....that's some really lucky children you have there. I hope they appreciate having a great dad who can't be bothered with them.

HelenaJustina · 02/07/2017 08:01

I thought rugby 🏉

Cailleach666 · 02/07/2017 08:12

A hobby that involves drinking.

Grin Grin Grin Grin

Loving it.

Cailleach666 · 02/07/2017 08:15

I'm amusing myself thinking of a "hobby that involves drinking".

Hanging out in strip clubs?
Visiting casinos?
Secret shopper?

Quite a catch you have there OP.

DonaldStott · 02/07/2017 08:16

How is he a good dad?

BallOrAerosol · 02/07/2017 08:17

Is it something like rugby? Playing in the afternoon then in the pub all evening? Whatever it is he should not be allowing it to take over whole weekends. YANBU.

Silverdream · 02/07/2017 08:24

My daughter ended a relationship because rugby was the other woman. Training twice a week, match Saturday and the club pay them in free alcohol after match.
It dominated their life as they drank all sat night. Ruined Sunday. Where we live this is very common and the culture is seen as the norm.
She was young but it has left its mark. She has a real problem with being in a relationship with anyone who is that involved in a sport. It's as if it's a right to have everything and everyone fitted in around it.

numbmum83 · 02/07/2017 08:26

Some people have strange views when it comes to being a "great dad" ... I guess all a man needs to do is provide a roof over the kids heads and food on the table and women accept it .

If you was to ask a child what they remember of their Dad in a few years , they won't remember the house , food etc they will just remember Dad never being there , Dad always doing his hobby . Mum always moaning and doing everything on her own , wanting to play with Dad but him never being around coz always at his hobby.
Kids grow up so fast , there's plenty time in later years to do hobbies and go out drinking, enjoy the kids whilst they are young.