Resenting being a mummy...

[EmmaJR1]

Don't get me wrong - I'm ecstatic at finally being a mummy to a gorgeous 7 week old boy - however having lived nearly 40 years as an independent women, travelling, going out late, buying whatever I want I'm finding it more difficult than I imagined to adapt to having a tiny human attached to me ALL THE TIME!
He is a good baby and I can't complain about being hard done by because I'm not - I'm very lucky. It's just EVERYTHING I do now is in relation to this gorgeous bundle- I even walk the dog with the baby! Am I being unreasonable to miss my carefree days? I feel a bit guilty...

This stage doesn't last long. It's hard, but they grow up - I promise!

Oh go away and be grateful for what you have YABVU

This was definitely the thing I found hardest to adjust to!

Yes it's really hard. I don't think anything quite prepares you for it. It does get better though, fairly quickly. Find yourself a babysitter early on!

Surely you knew what you were getting in to when you decided to have a baby?

I could have written this exact post when my DD was a few weeks old. I felt guilty and was like I was almost mourning my old carefree life and time just me and DH. She's a little older now and I can see all the new things we can look forwards to in the future as she grows up with us. I also had a 'good baby' judging by what stories other people have told me so felt I had no grounds to complain. I'm pretty sure these feelings are normal.

Rainbow- why be so rude? The OP is looking for a little support at a hard transition time. Have some empathy or keep your thoughts to yourself, negative comments like that don't help anyone.

Its ridiculous to have a baby then complain that your life has changed.

Bit harsh rainbowbreeze123!

It's quite a shock to the system alright.

There's definitely a period time when you mourn your old life. Anyway who says they don't is lying.

Some right tossers on here.

YANBU. It's a huge overnight shock to the system. Hang in there!

This is complaining, we are just openly acknowledging that the change hits you harder than you realise its going to. Its a big shock when you've built a career, built your relationship with your partner, spent time travelling, made your house your home etc etc it takes time to adjust

You can imagine what it's like but nothing prepared you for it.

Yanbu it takes a little time to adjust but before you know it they're growing up and you miss them being little

YANBU. It is hard. It gets easier! Have you read What Mothers Do? It's a really interesting look at a lot of the mental/emotional work of caring for a young baby.

My mother is incredibly resentful of my and my sister. She lets us know it, too. Be happy with your beautiful baby, try and enjoy the whole parenting roller coaster (I know it's hard sometimes) but it's worth every second.

You are absolutely not BU! I think all mums (except the sanctimonious sort) will admit to mourning their old, carefree life, especially when they have a newborn attached 24-7.

It DOES get better. They grow into interesting, fascinating people who make you laugh, cry and everything in between. Just wait and see

It's real adjustment that's for sure.

Do you have a partner? Don't be shy about handing baby to him/her/your parents if available and saying you need to go off and meet a friend, have a swim, walk the dog alone etc. Seriously, set the boundaries and expectations now wrt you getting your time to yourself. You haven't just stopped being who you are and are just "mummy". You are still you just like your partner is still them with their free time/hobbies/social life/work etc. You still get to do all that stuff too and you don't have to ask to do it. Set those expectations now before it becomes established that EmmaJ takes baby everywhere.

YADNBU!

The posters trying to hand you a grip must be pretty heartless to not have sympathy or pretty dull to never have once pined for the freedom they had pre children.

And the 'you knew what you were getting yourself into' type comments? I'm crying laughing at that one.

After twelve weeks you get used to it, the freedom comes back in dribs and drabs.

It's a big adjustment. When my son was born I really freaked out and kept thinking "oh my god I'm responsible for you and you're always around and I've always got to think about you!" It scared me. That went away quickly though. Then his sister came along and I felt surprisingly put out that she was muscling in on our little gang. I quite like her now!
You've put a whole new human being on the planet. It can be a bit overwhelming.

Definitely not being unreasonable but it's still really early days. It gets easier and you gradually get more and more of your life back. It doesn't mean you're not grateful for what you have and nothing can prepare you for what it's really like having a newborn.

It is a shock OP.I had my first at 24 and my second at 29. Most of my friends were still raving or travelling the world, I was married, home every day and analysing baby poo

But it gets so much easier and you just get used to planning your day's every move.Mine are now 5 and 11 months and the post-baby fog (DS2 has had 3x bronchitis, 2x laryngitis , flu and pneumonia needing a week'so hospitalisation.So many sleepless nights with no help from STBXH,) is just starting to lift.

It gets so much easier and better.Give yourself a break, you are only 7 weeks from childbirth, it can be such a headfuck.

Isn't complaint (blooming tablet!)

The first 3-9 months of having a new baby really are like the fourth trimester of pregnancy and especially so if you are breastfeeding. Nobody and nithing can prepare you for it. Some people tolerate it better than others.

Can you get out alone even for an hour once or twice a week? That does help. Even going for a bath alone is a start.

Hang in there, it all fades very soon. And oddly, I don't remember it being a thing the second time around. I guess I'd adjusted my identity and got used to the new way of life.

Ignore the nasty remarks here. New motherhood is bloody hard even with a longed for and 'easy' baby.

'twill pass. My little bundle is cooking dinner for me and t'other little bundle will be on coffee duty, while I languish in bed.

There's no denying it's a shock to the system, but they soon get more entertaining- which is a start. Dd at 3 was easily as amusing as a trip abroad or a night out.

Then they get more independent- soon they start spending part of the day at school, then they start going out with friends.

From a very early age they can be flexible- you can leave them with a friend to go out for the evening or take them with you on your travels.

And don't forget- the end product will be an adult- with a little luck an adult with a salary who takes you out and buys you cocktails!

Just hang in there!

This won't go down well here with some but I had my first night away from my eldest when he was 8 weeks old. My aunt babysat him overnight whilst I attended a wedding. He is 12 now and doesnt hold it against me