AIBU to think the word 'queer'...

[Nik2015]

...isn't acceptable?

There's a channel 4 programme called 'raised by queers'.

Surely this isn't an acceptable term????

Doesn't it all depend on the context though?

The word 'black' is just that, an adjective to describe the colour of something.
Black eye, black suit, blackballed- obviously descriptive, not offensive.
But when someone is called 'a black bastard' it instantly becomes a massively offensive, blatantly racist word because that is how it is being used.

Same I think with queer. A few friends of mine use the word to describe themselves.
But there's a huge difference between me saying, "My friend Leanne and her girlfriend prefer queer to lesbian", and saying, "I'm out tonight with the queers".

The word queer has such a history of being used as a pejorative, that I'd rather err on the side of caution and just not use it at all really.

Yes I do think it is about context really gay friends i used to hang about with used to call their friendship group all sorts their straight friends were in on it but they would be offended if somebody else said it

Generally I wouldn't say queer either

MrsOver, I beg to differ. It's far from 'fine' to use it.

Even people I know who identify as queer (including dyed-in-the-wool 50-something lesbians) think it's a term that needs some caution, especially from people who are not queer.

Oh, and IMHO, that pride link is a pile of bullshit.

It's important not to use labels so you must use a label?

Power is being reclaimed? Oh, it is, is it? So if we use queer, does the sparkly magic make the bigotry die? Goodness, how lovely.

It's necessary for those questioning? And, um, what about those questioning whether they fit another label better? Are they not allowed an opinion?

It breaks down binaries. Bullshit does it. Intentionally or not, half the time using 'queer' makes people reach for reductive nonsense about binaries. There is nothing that reinforces the gender binary more, than suggesting it is unusual to fall outside it.

I thought the Q in LGBTQ was for questioning?

can someone explain 'pan-romantic' to me?

also, how can you be bi-sexual, but aromantic with women? I don't get it. Are you saying you find women attractive, but wouldn't ever sleep with one?

I just don't feel queer, I feel like a normal middle aged woman who happens to have had relationships with men and women. Why would I emphasise that there's something "queer" about that?

Lots of young folk use Queer( i blame Ruby flaming Rose ) to describe themselves I personally think it is snowflaky but what do I know

I self-define as queer. I'm currently seeing a man but spent 8 years with a woman beforehand. I use it as an alternative to bi-sexual as I find that the term "bisexual" doesn't define me and is somehow in my head linked with the sexual objectification of bi women.

Each to thier own I suppose.

Lesbian here. I do not like being called "queer". The word "lesbian" works just fine and communicates very clearly that I'm a female person who's orientation is toward other females, not males. These days the word "queer" has been claimed by so many heterosexual people with kinks that it just does not mean gay or bi anymore. E.g. Straight men in dog costumes, straight men who wear nappies and call themselves adult babies, couples who are straight but polyamorous etc I'd rather not have the unnecessary confusion thanks..

I also happen to know that plenty of gay men hate the word because it's been the last words some guys have heard prior to being bashed, sometimes killed. There's a lot more to this subject than I'm willing to go into here but suffice to say, not every lesbian woman or gay man is happy about the word, despite others insisting that it's all hunky dory because it's been "reclaimed"..

I'm anewromantic

GreatF
Pan-romantic = someone who experiences romantic attraction to people regardless of their gender identity. It's seen to be more inclusive than bi- , because bi means two.

My DC1 is pan-romantic asexual.

I'm queer!