AIBU?
To not go to baby shower, making MIL not able to go?
Ilovecoleslaw · 29/06/2017 18:52
SIL's baby shower next week. MIL doesn't drive and FIL's car has broke so can't take her.
Arrangement was she was going to come in the car with me (takes at least an hour)
But, i had a misscariage last week and the last think I want is to be around baby stuff right now.
MIL still wants me to go so she can and FIL thinks I am BU by not going.
AIBU??
ShottaSheriff · 29/06/2017 18:58
You are definitely not BU. So sorry for your loss. I've had three miscarriages and whilst I do still go to things like this (although I'm really not keen on them!) I certainly wouldn't have been able to the week after a mc. It's heartbreaking. Your MIL is being hugely unreasonable, and completely lacking in compassion and empathy. Can your DH give her a lift there and back if it's really important to her and she has no other choices, or take public transport?
Whatsername17 · 29/06/2017 18:59
I lost a baby at 13 weeks. I completely understand the agony. I had a similar experience just after my loss. Dhs cousin had a baby and I was invited to a party where I knew she would be with her brand new baby. I was dreading it, but I went, I held the baby and took her a gift. It was hard but I'm glad I did it.
ChishandFips33 · 29/06/2017 19:02
Of course FIL thinks YABU because it now means he likely has to get involved with the to-ing and fro-ing for the shower - not your problem
They are being selfish and only thinking of themselves and their needs
You take time for you - this is the last thing you need 
poppym12 · 29/06/2017 19:05
totally NBU! How bloody selfish and twattishly thoughtless of him to say you're being U.
Tell your husband to let them know how shite their attitude is. Public transport, taxis, fil could get his car fixed..... If you don't want to go, they have to sort themselves out.
kel1234 · 29/06/2017 19:05
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. How insensitive of them given what's happened for even suggesting you should go. They will have to find an alternative way to get there. You're not a personal driver, and you may not be feeling up to it physically, never mind emotionally.
(and I'm not only saying that because I hate baby showers with a passion either).
EvansOvalPies · 29/06/2017 19:07
You are most certainly NOT being unreasonable. I cannot believe your MiL is being so insensitive. Suggest to her she takes a taxi (or your husband deals with it).
So sorry about your miscarriage For someone to expect you to just carry on as normal is beyond belief. You need to look after yourself at the moment.
theymademejoin · 29/06/2017 19:11
I presume they know you had a miscarriage? If they don't, while a bit entitled, wanting you to follow through on a promised lift isn't too bad.
If they know you had a miscarriage, words fail me at the levels of selfishness, callousness and entitlement they are displaying. I don't think I would ever offer them a favour again. Your dp needs to tell them how appalling their behaviour is.
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