To not like food 'plated up'?

[BachingMad]

I know that sometimes it's inevitable, eg a pub meal. But, in general, whereas meat/main event is fine on the plate, I so much prefer veg and sides etc 'on the side', so I can be greedy where I want and reject what I don't want, without offending anybody or inviting comment on my choices.

A lovely friend invited us for lunch last weekend, and it was delicious food, and i am truly grateful - but the main course came with masses of spuds, and the pudding was a huge slice of cheese cake, drowning in cream. I ate it all, because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but it was a bit too much, made me feel uncomfortable, a bit less relaxed.

AIBU/ungrateful?

My parents still consider dishes of food on a table for people to help themselves to be posh.

It's so not, I couldn't be more working class!

I really find it easier, I am sure everyone only eat what they like and how much they want. It sounds so wasteful as well to pill up a plate for guests and expect them to leave half and throw it all in the bin.

I've never cooked my guests a full English, I am too lazy first thing in the morning, you are putting us to shame DarthMaiden

Darth your house sounds a bit like mine as a child. My SIL used to call it Mary's Cafe in wonderment that my mum would ask everyone what they wanted at breakfast and cheerfully cook to order. Until my brother brought her home we thought this was how everyone lived but she said: 'In my house you get what you're given.'

My sister's husband said my mum's sausage sandwiches were the best he'd ever tasted. Which of course, they were. But he had a theory that I think was correct. She'd fry them long and slow in butter and he said you were drooling by the time they were ready.

My husband and I miss her sublime bubble and squeak. I've tried but I can't quite get the proportions of veg:spuds:stuffing:yorkshires or the optimum crispiness right.

I much prefer people to help themselves from dishes on the table. Then they can take exactly what they want and there is NO WASTED FOOD. For me personally, wasted food is morally and ethically wrong...

For me personally, wasted food is morally and ethically wrong...

My, my. That's a high standard, How much waste are we talking about here? Half a roast spud that you though you wanted but had a suspect brown bit in that could be a bit of vegetable, could be a bit of weevil?

Or waste on an industrial scale? Because most people don't leave that much on their plates after a Sunday roast barring a few peas and some congealed gravy.

Don't you end up with wasted veg in the serving dishes anyway?

no, because I can use the leftover veg to make stock, the leftover meat to make a shepherd pie for example. If it's in your plate, it goes in the bin.

I use selected leftovers on our plates to have cold for lunch or make leftover dinner with. Why wouldn't you?

limited how lovely....

I enjoy cooking and tbh I find it a way to express my love for those around me.

To be clear I don't cook like that every day (though I do cook and not use ready meals) but when we have guests I really like to make an effort.

I think it stems from my Welsh grandmother who was a fantastic "old school" cook - Welsh cakes, bara brith, cawl, rarebit, huge roasts etc

I always loved visiting because the welcome was so warm and the food so good it's what I want to re-create in my own home.

Oh and she was thrifty with food...

The spare potato/bits of cabbage left on the plate would be in tomorrow's bubble and squeak...and I've never been able to replicate how good it was.

I suspect I'm not using the same copious amounts of beef dripping and salt to fry everything up in...

Rarely plate up, too many different people to cater for.

My lot, yes I plate up for as I know how much they can eat but with added guests .. no, unless its my cooked breakfast then I do plate up for them, as I know them and what they will eat.

I'm known to do big portions of all my food, the recent b/f of dd and g/f of ds have good appetites and enjoy my food, it bodes well.

I'm with you op. Would rather major on green veg and skip the carrots for example. And I'm too well brought up to leave anything on my plate.

This reminds me of one time I visited some friends abroad. Everything was in dishes to serve ourselves (eight people). There was a bowl of small salad potatoes in front of me. I picked it up and took two. The bowl was then passed all around the table. I looked on in total embarrassment as each person took one tiny potato. When it reached the eighth person it was empty. I still feel embarrassed when I think about it.

We often do help yourself style dinner at Christmas. About ten of us, there has to be plenty though!

I'm with the plate up if it's just us, but food in serving dishes for guests brigade.

There were eight of us for Christmas dinner last year, we asked everyone how much meat they wanted and put that on each plate, but aside from the turkey, it was every man for themselves. There wasn't room on the table for everything, so the turkey had to be carved in the kitchen. There was plenty of everything on the table, but the gravy boat had to be refilled.

Although at my house 3 of us if cooking dinner i/we always plate up, regular portion for me, larger for dp, same as me for mum

just has never been a thing at my house to serve seperately, only as i said at christmas dinner in grandparents.

plus at my house wed usually eat in the sitting room.

Left over veg is then eaten the next day. Limited - your sarcasm about wasted food is interesting. We have thread after thread in MN with people asking about food banks, benefits etc etc so yes, any wasted food is wrong and unnecessary.

When you go to a restaurant your good is plated and most people accept that as normal. Why is it acceptable and expected in a restaurant but not in a house?

Thank you for all of your responses. Very interesting.

I had never thought of it as being a class issue. Maybe more of an issue between foodies and non foodies, with the foodies being in the non 'plating up' camp.

Perhaps I was being a bit too polite in eating everything, and should have just left some. But I also agree with pps who say that they abhor waste. My DC think me and DH are strange because we revel in creating something new out of the leftovers!

I also hadn't realised that plating up and dishing up meant the same thing. I would summon family/guests to the table by saying 'I'm dishing up' now, but would still have serving dishes on the table for the side dishes/ veg/potatoes etc. If it's a course with individual portions eg fish, steaks etc, then I would 'plate up' that part of the meal, but not if it's something like a casserole, where I would just let people help themselves.

Otherwise I would carve the meat and put out the carving dish for people to help themselves. It's not just a quantity thing, some people like white meat and others brown, fatty or non fatty etc.

Chaque un a son gout!