To be annoyed about somebody "being worried" about my weight loss?

[revolution909]

Over the past 9 months? I really don't keep track of it in that way! I've lost 4st. I never looked obese although I was (I was hourglass with some chub) and now I'm what you would call athletic and toned. I put a lot of effort into it and we'll although completely irrelevant my BMI is of around 22/23 so technically underweight in definitely not! I'm a size 8/6 / xs so I do look smaller than I actually weight but you can also see I'm muscular. Anyways.. this mum who I'm friendly with just told me today "I'm disappearing right in front her eyes" and she was "worried about me". She's naturally skinny so I don't think she's jealous. But I don't know I felt she crossed the line ?? AIBU?

@talkinpeece your body fat is healthy :) www.builtlean.com/2010/08/03/ideal-body-fat-percentage-chart/

@revolution909

Endurance cycling as a hobby. But do weigh for upper body.

I could be off the mark but sometimes weight loss and exercise can become all consuming and can become a bit of an obsession. You get hooked on the good feeling of stepping on the scales and realising you've lost more and experience tremendous guilt if you miss your scheduled exercise.

How will it feel to stop losing weight? Can you miss your exercise and feel ok with yourself? I don't want to insult you at all but I have suffered with eating disorders and excessive exercising myself.

Perhaps try to view your friend's concern in a positive way? Her way of saying You've lost enough weight, be careful.
It's hard to tell from the written word if she was being flippant or caring.

Well, I'm actually trying to find a way to maintain my weight, so adding treats here and there or extra cheat meals, but so far even when not trying I'm still losing half a pound. Last week with all the over eating / drinking that you could expect from 3 birthday celebrations I lost close to 2lbs!! I can miss my strength training sessions but I always try never to miss a run (especially long ones) as they're all part of my competitive training.

It sounds like I'm barking up the wrong tree then. If you are very muscular, you will need to up your calorie intake or perhaps increase the carbs? There is some good nutritional advice online hidden amongst all the God awful advice by self styled "dieticians". That might be worth researching if your weight loss continues.

Congratulations though. It sounds as though you have really found a love for competitive training.

I always get that from the (morbidly) obese women at my work. "You're so tiny!". My BMI is 21.5 - bang on average!

Recently I got told I look "too thin" and "unhealthy". Maybe we are so used to everyone being large that we've forgotten what normal actually looks like.

@ilostit yes finding good advice is VERY hard. Most people seem to be obsessed with food prepping (which is fine but with two fuzzy eaters at home dd and DH who by the way makes me portion control his meals) a full time job and all the training it's almost impossible!! Personal trainers seem to be more into "building muscle" than anything else (the ones I've met don't have much experience with runners) and my fellow runners seem to overeat / drink but they don't seem to have the same issues as me, so maybe I should just follow their cake and beer diet!!

It's got nothing to do with grey skin or visible unwellness: a sudden dramatic weight loss is a health concern even if you look otherwise quite magnificent as it can be a sign of cancer. I can assure you my mother looked utterly lovely, and also very thin, a few months before she was diagnosed.

So yes if a friend dropped weight dramatically without trying I would be alarmed even if they were otherwise looking fine.

@ revolution909
Muscle is a huge advantage in running, you should build muscle along with the cardio from running also if you are worried about looking masculine from having muscle you won't women don't have the hormones to bulk like that.

Do take good note of what's being said and take care of yourself

@NameChangr678 jeeeez!!!!!!!! Lost a lot of weight myself, doing weight training & I honestly put a lot of effort in it, gym & eating clean + mental effort. And today my work colleague (was wearing a fitted dress, knee length) said; "oh memyself and I", you are TOO SKINNY!!!

She's a size 22. Thanks, I don't take advice from you.

It was not sudden it has taken me 9 close to 10 months to get to my current shape. Just my body type looks very different I guess! @user I don't mind muscles!! I have nice big guns and I'm proud of them! Also very proud of my visible abs and all the leg muscles.

Yes YABU to be annoyed about someone showing concern for you. You've openly said, that 8lbs ago your GP told you not to lose any more weight.
From the way you are posting, it sounds like you are more obsessive than content, and yes, that can be worrying. Perhaps that is what your friend is seeing.

Well I rarely talked to her (we have been friendly / always say hello and she's been over for a party but that was literally years ago) but it's not like we chit chat every day. Also, if you've read, I've tried for the past month or so to increase my calorie intake and even with holidays and partying I still can't maintain my weight.

I've tried for the past month or so to increase my calorie intake and even with holidays and partying I still can't maintain my weight.

That's really not a good place to be in though. You're exercising af an unsustainable level if you can't maintain your weight. Something has to change, either eating more or moving less.

Sometimes people who have lost a lot of weight find it really hard to eat in a sustainable way and can tip into eating disorders/obsessive exercise.

And I feel your gp was telling you that the bmi chart doesn't apply to you, it's because you've got an artificially high reading because of your muscles. Your true reading would be smaller, and that's probably why she told you not to lose more weight.

That should say "if", not "I feel". Not sure what happened there.

@purpledaisies yes that's exactly what she explained. I asked for more guidance but she just shrugged. I think I might have to start having protein shakes / bars as even though I eat well and rarely go hungry (apart from my PMT week which GP did say not to overeat that week) I'm just not able to stop losing weight. I saw another GP a couple of weeks later and we went through my food diary and he thought. It looked ok . Only advice was to eat more "healthy food" if I go hungry (whatever that means) and said he thinks my body would stabilize at some point. Neither of the GPs said I had to exercise any less (that being said I've reduced one weekly hour because I just didn't see the point anymore).

If you're losing weight and you don't want to, you need to eat more food even if you're not hungry.

Okay so not maintaining weight is a problem ? Or do you not think so? You can't keep losing weight so maybe you need help with diet to maintain or to exercise less?

OP, I think the fact you distance run is the thing here. I run competitively. I've a lower BMI than you, but still well within healthy. I weight train too.

Put me at a race with a pile of runners, I'm looking completely normal. Stick me in the office, I'm skinny and 'could do with a good meal', or so I've been told.

Thing is, I'd rather be in the top 10 in a race than be curvy. That matters more to me personally. I accept I look skinny. I also know I train 6 days a week and am much much fitter than most. So some might think I've got food issues, I know I can run 15 miles at the drop of a hat.

You know you're fit and healthy, ignore!

OP, with respect, you sound obsessive.

But be careful not to drop too much. I dropped a lot but now remain consistently within a range of about 3/4lb which is fine I feel.

Exactly! That's why I've thought I'd the protein shakes / bars. I've tried with cake and ice cream but it made no difference (seriously!) I also drink around 2 glasses of wine plus maybe 5 pints of beer / cider a week and I definitely should not increase that!

I would hazard a guess that your mum's used to seeing you at 4stone bigger so that's why she's worried. It's the big change.

However, you should listen to your doctor. Being underweight can have serious consequences for your health.

Perhaps see a nutritionist privately?