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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask is this Hotel policy usual?

297 replies

IsThisStrangeOrNot · 27/06/2017 06:00

Children under 12 not allowed to be alone in bedrooms. Small posh hotel recently refurbished. I can understand why they might not want toddlers running riot in the bedrooms but when DS is asleep and we're watching him on the baby monitor that's still not acceptable. Bedroom is up the stairs and we would be eating dinner in restaurant at foot of stairs, less than 5 seconds to get back to bedroom. It's in an isolated location with nothing nearby so can't imagine policy is for the security of children.
Their hotel, their rules - which we respect but first time I've heard this policy. Anyone else heard such a policy for kids under 12?

OP posts:
WateryTart · 27/06/2017 07:38

Why won't OP say how old the child is? I suspect she realises he is far too young to be left.

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/06/2017 07:43

I've been in hotels several times when fire alarms have gone off and staff were not ushering everyone out straightaway. Maybe they should have been, but they never have. It would have been easy to go back to you room for something when it first went off. (What actually happened most often was everyone looked at each other for a couple of minutes, then a few people started to move and then pretty much everyone started to get up and then the alarm stopped and everyone hung around again half up and half down until "false alarm" started being muttered everywhere and people sat down again. Once, the alarm didn't stop and everyone made their way outside and stood around until they were told they could go back in. That time, by the time everyone was actually making their way out staff were starting to usher people in the right direction, but there was a big gap before they started doing that when you could have gone anywhere.).

The Mcann thing gets dragged out for anything where someone is talking about a risk where a parent isn't in the immediate vicinity, but it always sounds like moralizing rather than risk assessment. I could point you to dozens, probably thousands of car accidents where people thought their child would be fine when they strapped them in, but they weren't. Doesn't make driving in a car with a kid an absurd risk though.

Looneytune253 · 27/06/2017 07:44

Why would you even think of leaving your child in a strange place when eating a meal??

RedSkyAtNight · 27/06/2017 07:45

I thought the same as Saucy - that this seems OTT for sensible10/11 year olds (in fact last year we nearly booked a hotel with DC 12 and 10 sharing a room which would be against this policy - and would mean we would never book this hotel as I'm not keen to have us all in one room with that age DC!.).

I'm guessing if OP is listening to her DC on a baby monitor while she eats, he is a toddler though in which case the policy is perfectly sensible.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 27/06/2017 07:45

Maybe I'm missing the point, but while you are eating dinner, wouldn't your child be with you, eating their own dinner? Or would they not be eating?

TheFoosAreYoungUpstarts · 27/06/2017 07:48

When the alarm went off in the early hours in a hotel I was staying in with my (bright, sensible, mature) 14yo niece she was terrified and froze. I'm glad I was there.

I have to say though that if it wasn't for that, I'd be a bit Hmm about the rule.

feathermucker · 27/06/2017 07:48

OP, how old is your child?!

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/06/2017 07:49

Thaywoud have eaten earlier in the evening AndNone

Toysaurus · 27/06/2017 07:50

YABU. No matter how sensible the child, some literally panic in fire situations and hide themselves away in cupboards.

I've had to deal with mass evacuations with utter idiots trying to reason with me about why they should stay in a building whilst we are trying to safely evacuate thousands.

So your hotel is small, doesn't mean that it is safer or easier to go back toward and area people need to move away from.

Crochetthedayaway · 27/06/2017 07:51

My MIL remembers leaving DH in room from being a small baby, I think it was more normal in the past. We have never done it, an adjoining room, a suite, a patio or balcony is your solution in this day and age. sitting outside having a drink and a chat while the DC go to sleep is great, I guess you could have room service if you wanted. Larger hotels/resorts may have kids clubs where kids can be left if you want an adult only meal.

WomblingThree · 27/06/2017 07:56

No hotel will let you go back to the room in the event of a fire alarm.

I did leave mine occasionally, but that was 20 years ago. I realise now how stupid it was, and if I had my time again there is no way I would even consider it. Everyone should learn from other parents' mistakes.

tillytown · 27/06/2017 08:01

How old is your child?

Namechange2837 · 27/06/2017 08:02

So how old is DC?

Mulledwine1 · 27/06/2017 08:06

Most hotels don't let you have separate rooms for under 12s

And yet many hotels won't let a 12 year old and older share.

I agree that if this is really about H&S there should be a standard policy across all hotel in the UK. Guest houses can have quite a few rooms too, so you might want a similar policy for them - they already have more stringent fire safety rules than a B&B that can have up to 3 guest rooms.

I would never have left my ds in a hotel room on his own when he was smaller. I left him in a B&B but that was because the guest lounge was immediately next door to our room.

FaithAgain · 27/06/2017 08:07

We have this argument. We stay in a small hotel on holiday. It's a lovely place, has a pool. DH reckons we can leave DD upstairs while we sit in the bar (they do have baby monitors we can borrow). I say quite a few people have access to a key, I'm paranoid about fire since we had a house fire a few years ago and I'm happy to take it in turns to stay in with her while the other sits in the bar. We get round the dinner issue by all eating together about 6pm.

muckypup73 · 27/06/2017 08:08

I wonder why op is evading the many questions that have been asked about how old the child is?

metalmum15 · 27/06/2017 08:09

cailleach Sounds nice! We always do villas too, but I must admit I like the privacy of my own pool, and we do like to have different restaurants to choose from in the evening. Didn't know you could do AI villas though, as I hate hotels. Might look into that in the future!

Butterymuffin · 27/06/2017 08:12

After Grenfell it seems astonishing that anyone should minimise fire risk. If you don't like a hotel's policy, though, don't stay there. Simples!

muckypup73 · 27/06/2017 08:13

I must admit as well I have never quite understood people that go away to hotels with children and want to leave them in a room on their own? everytime I have been to a hotel my children have been in the room with me, we get a family room and the children cometo tea with me too.

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 08:27

We always had meals together as a family so it wasn't an issue. I wouldn't have a big issue with an 11 year old on their own in a room if I was nearby in a small hotel but I suppose it is hard to draw a firm line, would I be happy with a 10 year old in a big hotel?

I'm not sure about all the "you wouldn't be allowed to go back to your room" When I think of my family I would like to meet the hotel staff who would stop my DH going back to a room for our child, don't think they worked in any of the hotels I've stayed in.

CountryCaterpillar · 27/06/2017 08:31

There was a fire alarm at local leisure centre when my small child was in an activity. There was no way i was allowed to run to her room just across the corridor.

Having been through that and found it terrifying (lots of cold 5 year olds lined up outside, thankfully mine was there!) I'm a bit more alert to the fact they really don't let you go get your kids...

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 08:33

How do they stop you? They wouldn't stop me. Well I suppose they could with a gun but they would have to use it, not just threaten.

Namechange2837 · 27/06/2017 08:33

I'm pretty sure hotel staff have no right to physically restrain anyone if they attempt to enter a building during a fire alarm.

TheWhiteRoseOfYork · 27/06/2017 08:38

How do they stop you? They wouldn't stop me. Well I suppose they could with a gun but they would have to use it, not just threaten.

You insisting on rushing back up the stairs when everyone else is trying to get down them is going to cause problems for everyone. It is selfish to create a situation where you have to do that in the first place.

grannytomine · 27/06/2017 08:42

In a ten room hotel it is hardly going to be a stampede, if people are eating not everyone will be in their rooms anyway. If you want to blindly follow rules and leave your child in a burning building that is your choice, it wouldn't be mine. I've never left my children to go and eat but I have had to go down to reception for something and again if you think it is selfish to leave an 11 year old in a room for 2 minutes then strap them to you and never move an inch, your choice.