To have said no to my neighbour? Re looking after her son

[MrsOverTheRoad]

We're not close or anything...my DD and her DS are both 9 and have played together a few times last year but not for about 10 months now.

There's a day off school here (we're in Oz) as it's teacher parent meetings and they do them all day...my appointment is at 5.

It's currently almost 3 and neighbour just knocked on door out of the blue and had her son in tow.

She said "Oh hello! Can you have X whilst I go for my parent teacher meeting?"

And I said "Oh...no, sorry...we've got our own soon..."

I now realise I COULD have had him...she'll only be about 45 minutes..but to be honest I didn't want to!

I'd have to tie our dog up as her son is afraid of dogs...and he then barks for ages...and DD and I were just having a nice bit of time together.

As she left the neigbbour said "Might see you at school then"

Obviously presuming my appointment was soon.

It's not for 2 hours though! WIBU?

Not U, she should have asked in advance.

What is happening to your daughter when you go to the school?

Yup

Tentacle I'll leave her with her older sister (13) or let her come...whichever she prefers.

Her Dad will also be due back while I'm there.

Kilner Yup what?
Loopy yes...had she asked this morning I would have said yes...I hate having things sprung on me!

She was being unreasonable not to sort out childcare in advance however it was a fairly small favour to ask to watch a child for 45 mins. You never know when you might need a favour in return. Perhaps the children could have played away from the dog ( in a room with a closed door?) you and your daughter could surely have carried on what you were doing later. YWabitU I think in not wanting to do someone a good turn. Fine though if that's how you want to live life.

Hesterton but why would she think she can rely on me for last minute care?

Her son and my DD played together about 3 times...due mainly to her son asking on the way home...my DD's not close to him at all.

I'd never presume to ask her for last minute care!

The school shuts for parent teacher meetings!

Olympic the little boy won't ever play inside...when he's been here he's insisted on going out...meaning I have to tie the dog up. I can't bring the dog IN because the boy runs in and out of the house with DD a lot...which would be fine...but its' not fair on the dog really.

Also...it's allowd to bring your DC with you...he can play outside the classroom! That's what my DD does if she comes.

Down yes! Madness isn't it? They take their time with each parent though...

I'll tell you another thing...I've just remembered why I feel less than charitable towards this woman....I can't drive and so walk to school...it's about 20 minutes for me which is fine...she lives about 4 doors from me but has literally looked me in the eye on very wet, windy days at school pick up and driven off without asking if I'd like a lift.

So...I have no regrets! She may have her reasons for not ever asking me if I want a lift when the weather's been awful and I don't expect one at all...but surely, it would be polite?

Hesterton yes...and I wish I had but somehow when I'm caught on the hop I can't think straight. I never get my wording right.

You are drip feeding OP.

It's fine to have said no.

YANBU

She should have planned ahead not just dumped it on you last minute.

Also, the not offering a lift thing is mean. I wouldn't want to give a lift every day because I like that bit of peace in the car but when the weather is awful I wouldn't hesitate to pull over and offer a lift if I saw someone I knew.

Stuff her - she should have asked earlier! The thing about driving past you in the rain would annoy me too (ok she might not be going straight home every time, but at least a few times she must have).

Loopy I know...I just didn't connect the no-lift thing with my reluctance to help...but maybe I was thinking about it in the back of my mind.

Northern exactly! I love the walk...wouldn;t even always want a lift in the rain if it was light as I quite like it but to watch DD and I walk in the heavy rain and wind...or in summer when it's over 40! That's mean.

As an ex-teacher, I have found that in reality, by the end of a series of interviews one could be backed up, meaning the mother might actually be longer than 45 mins.

OP, just out of interest, what state or territory is this? Is it a new thing?

I haven't taught (primary school) for about a decade, but during my time teaching I never heard of fit happening in NSW. The most that ever happened was that there was a rolling roster and specialist teachers would provide coverage to relieve class teachers for interviews (which was a way in which specialist teachers were definitely not supposed to be used, but that principal was a law unto herself).

Do you think there's a lot of sensitive stuff she wants to discuss with the teacher?

Its always kind to help people but it has to suit you and work for you too.

Scone it's a private school so they do things their own way I suppose!

Hesterton that seems a bit...crass?

"Yes I will look after your son...any chance of a lift any time soon?"

Seems tacky!

Strawberry no idea! As I said, people let their children play on the play equipment outside whilst they go in. It's on a large piece of land...very secure. You can see your child from the classroom.

I would have said no too. Aside from the not giving you a lift in the car thing, you don't seem to know them very well (like you're not close) and it was at the last minute. I wouldn't want to suddenly become responsible for somebody else's child with no warning. Especially if we weren't close. You have your own stuff going on and it doesn't sound like she would have returned the favour.

I am in Oz as well and I have always taken the younger kids along to the parent teacher interviews and so do lots of other parents.

It's no big deal for her to take him. She should have asked you in advance.